Search Party Page #9

Your whole sac is out!

Yeah, your balls are...

Well, they're tiny underwear.

No, they're gonna

get shot off, man.

We should go.

Come on, honey!

Sh*t!

Sh*t!

I'll drive, I'll drive!

Sh*t!

- Nardo! Get in!

- Get in!

Go, go, go, go!

Sh*t!

Look at them!

Yeah! F*** you!

You think you're

gonna make your meeting?

I think it'll be close.

You guys, I wanna apologize for

basically everything I've done.

And, Tracy, I wanna plan a new

wedding, okay? What do you say?

I think it's...

No, no, no.

When we get re-engaged,

it's gonna be without you

two a**holes in the car.

Sorry.

Fair enough.

And you, I need you to move out.

Excuse me?

ASAP.

What?

It means "as soon as possible."

I know what ASAP means.

I finally get it.

It's time.

You need some space.

Look, we're best friends.

We will always be best friends.

Nothing is gonna change that.

I do think I am gonna

get my own place, though.

I just like it

when we're all together.

I know.

How am I gonna

get across the border?

I'm just not really good

with small spaces, so...

So, what do you

think you're gonna say?

Jason, you got me here,

that's all you can do. Thanks.

She looks mad.

She looks really mad.

Motherf***er!

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa!

Did I read that wrong?

Yes.

Sorry.

I'm sorry about everything.

Okay, we'll talk about it later.

We have a meeting to get to.

Screw the meeting.

I'm probably gonna get fired.

And I didn't come here for that.

I came here for you.

I never asked you out

because we work together,

but I think part of me was scared

and I'm done being scared.

Wow, really?

Read it wrong again.

Should've known.

We have a meeting. Come on.

I don't know what got into you,

but the client loved

your presentation.

I'm giving you a promotion.

Congratulations.

Thank you, sir.

Yeah, boy!

You're gonna crush it!

First you get the promotion,

then you move in with us!

Whoo! Spaghetti Tuesdays!

You're gonna move

in with us, right?

Get the f*** out of here.

Okay.

I gotta hand it you,

Nardo, you were right.

You do know how to pick them.

So do you, you old dog.

Think she'll let

you kiss her tonight?

Come on.

But yeah,

hopefully she'll let me kiss her tonight.

You ever think you'll be able

to learn how to love Tracy?

No, Evan. I think I'll be

able to learn how to love...

Wait, what did you say?

I said, learn how to love Tracy.

Yeah, I will.

I know I'll learn how to love her, yeah.

Okay, guys.

Hi.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

You're family now.

Yeah. Don't forget it.

I love you.

Hey, I just remembered

where I know this guy from.

Great, Marty.

We'll talk about it later.

No, we got high

with him in my van.

He doesn't wanna

marry this chick.

Okay. Marty, that's okay.

Just sit down.

No, Marty, we already

took care of this.

You can't let this... No.

Marty, sit down.

We're not taking those rings.

Marty, Marty...

You shouldn't do this.

You're off base here, pal.

No. Hey, you don't wanna do this, dude!

Okay.

Hey, remember the weed?

Marty! Marty.

I was just talking it through.

That's all I was doing!

Sorry, Grammy.

You need weed right now...

Absolutely, you need weed!

Today is the day you say forever

From now on, you stand together

Two hearts united

in wedded bliss

As you say your vows,

remember this

He's got the last penis

you're ever gonna see

The last penis

you'll feel inside your mouth

Hope he touches your clit,

not just your heart

'Cause he's the only one who

will till death do you part

She's the last woman

you'll ever be inside of

The last mouth you'll have

wrapped around your dick

She'll find you less

attractive as the years go by

But that's the only vagina that will

ever make you come until you die

So, congrats to the man and wife

For only f***ing each other

for the rest of your life

I gotta hand it

to you, Nardo, you did it.

Yeah.

Well, I mean,

this is the dream right here.

You know, hanging out

with my two best friends

in a good

old-fashioned Narduzzi.

I couldn't have done

it without you guys.

Cheers to that, man.

Cheers.

It'd be cool if there

were girls in the tub.

It is what it is.

- Daniel!

- Grammy?

What are you doing here?

A man sent me here

to watch something.

- Watch something?

- What?

What is that?

Go, go, go!

What happened?

Nothing. You passed out.

Are we having sex?

No.

I'm prepping you.

What?

We could have sex, though.

I mean, if you want to.

Got time.

Okay. Yeah, okay.

Yeah? You should know

you are completely paralyzed.

My God.

So that means your dick

is not gonna work.

My dick works great, though.

Okay.

You know what?

I always wanted to find out

what this did.

What?

JK, man, JK. I'm not.

What's "JK" stand for?

"Just kidding."

I text a lot.

I thought it stood for, like,

"jolly cock" or something.

No.

I don't know.

"Jolly cock,"

though, would be pretty...

Sex talk.

Hey.

Hey, you wanna play...

You wanna play Silence of the Lambs?

We did that and never got to it.

Sorry.

It's okay, it's okay.

Cut!

"Jolly cock."

Cut.

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