Search Party Page #8

My poncho says

"Rosarito 17" on it.

Okay, great!

Evan!

Okay, we will be there soon!

There's someone's blood

on this phone, Evan!

- Sir, I will see you at 5:00.

- Okay.

No, no, no, no!

Wait a minute!

Evan, you're the man!

Do not hang up on me, Evan!

Hello?

Hello?

Hey, hi.

Who's this?

Well, who are you?

This is Kyle MacDonaldson.

You've got a great speaking voice.

Are you black?

What's that...

What's that like?

Nice meeting you!

Hey, what's up?

You've reached Tracy.

If you'd like to

leave a message,

feel free to do so while I

drink margaritas. What?

Tracy, it's Evan.

I know you're pissed.

It's just...

Nardo is in serious trouble,

and we're at the police station,

Rosarito 17.

We really need your help and

your credit card. Thank you.

Should we save the donkey, too?

I like you.

This is so crazy.

How are we gonna get

Nardo out of here?

I don't know.

Maybe we bribe them?

Mexican cops don't

make a lot of money,

so they'd for sure

go for a bribe.

What is that?

It's a stick,

in case we need it in there.

We are not breaking Nardo

out of a Mexican jail

with f***ing sticks.

We'll run game on them.

Let's do the "we got beef."

No, we are not gonna

do the "we got beef."

Why not? It works.

It doesn't even work

on drunk girls on spring break.

It worked at Arizona State.

Everything works

at Arizona State.

That's true.

Can I get a Diet Coke, please?

You probably

don't even have diet!

Animals!

Excuse us, gentlemen.

Do you have a prisoner here

by the name of Nardo?

Daniel Narducci,

maybe you booked him under?

Evan! Jason!

Thank God you're here!

Nardo! Nardo!

Nardo! Nardo!

No, no, no!

Hey, man!

Behind the line.

Yeah, there's a chalk line, Evan.

Evan!

Jason! These two

have been torturing me!

We haven't been torturing you.

Well, he was licking me!

Have you been licking him?

I'm so f***ed up

right now. Yeah.

He licked me right here.

And then he licked

me here and here.

Look, here's what

we're gonna do.

You guys are gonna give us Nardo

and we will make it

worth your while.

Yeah. We're gonna bribe you.

My God.

No, we can't do that.

He's part of the deal.

Berk is on his way over...

Wait, did you say "Berk"?

Berk hates me, okay?

He's after me!

I stole a truck

full of his cocaine.

This is all a big

misunderstanding.

Nardo is not a drug runner.

I mean, look at him. He...

He could barely run, little fella.

Look at me.

Look at him, he's a foppish dandy.

He's a fop.

He's innocent, you know.

He's a little baby.

Little Pig in the City.

Yeah, he's a Pig in the City.

Ever seen that movie?

Did you guys get that down here?

Yeah, I'm a little Babe.

"That'll do."

He can talk, the whole thing.

Pig in the Cities.

I think we all do.

Yeah.

I saw Pigs in the City

on Christmas time.

t made my heart

feel warm and...

I love it so much.

You ever see the first one?

There's a first one?

My God, my life is a lies.

You know, I think it's time

for you two guys to leave.

Before you get hurt.

I don't know what you guys

are trying to pull here.

But the United States,

we come down pretty hard.

Iraq I, Iraq II...

This is all your fault, Evan!

What are you doing?

We got beef!

No, we don't have beef.

We don't have beefs!

Not the beef.

Yeah, yeah, come on.

Let's do the "we got beef" thing.

That's not gonna work on two federales.

Yes, it will.

Look, look, look. The gun.

We said we weren't

gonna do this.

You son of a b*tch!

You better watch that ass!

You'll see me kick it!

Okay, kangaroo punch

coming, nice and easy.

Ready?

No kangaroo.

F*** you!

What did you call me?

A p*ssy mouth?

You are a f***ing idiot!

Yeah, I'm mad at you, too!

Okay, time out, guys.

F*** you!

The only reason that I have

lived with you this long

is because I felt guilty!

- Let it out, Evan.

- I am done...

That's good.

...taking care of your sh*t!

Are you okay?

Did you not see

that I had the gun?

You did?

We are done.

You and me, we are done!

I'm gonna murder you!

No, you're not!

For real!

I'm gonna murder...

What the hell is going on?

Tracy. Hi.

There you are.

I'm a bit strung out

right now. I'm sorry.

Yeah, Tracy.

In! Out!

Hey! Hi! Yeah!

Tracy. Tracy!

Let me go! Tracy!

Nardo, I just came here

to help you, that's it.

I know, I know. Look.

Tracy, I love you.

Okay?

I'm sorry my friends

ruined our wedding.

I never should've

questioned marrying you.

Look.

I have been through hell

trying to find you.

I mean, look at me.

I practically walked here.

Just, from now on,

nothing keeps us apart, okay?

So, will you just...

Will you just take me back?

And we can just get married

and be happy, please?

I love you, Nardo.

You guys,

I just wanna say that...

I was wrong. You guys,

you do belong together.

You guys should

jail f*** right now

and make a baby that

has dual citizenship.

I don't need your permission.

Get over here.

Hey, I was wrong about them.

Yeah, me, too.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

- What was that sound?

- My truck!

Berk?

God!

They got my ear!

They nicked my ear!

- My God!

- My God!

Gunshots!

There's definitely guns!

I'm bleeding.

It's okay.

You're okay.

I'm gonna invite

myself to the party!

Ring-a-ling-a-ling!

Ring-a-ling-a-ling!

Pick the goddamn phone up!

Say something, Evan,

say something!

I don't know who you are,

but you can take the cocaine!

We don't want it.

No, that's not how it works.

You cross me,

I kill you. Understand?

That's how it works.

I'm gonna kill his ass.

I'm gonna let Grammy watch,

and I love Grammies, believe me.

But in this case,

I'm gonna take my hand,

I'm gonna run my hand

up the crack of Grammy's ass,

you understand?

She's gonna stand next to me

while I squeeze her booty,

and she's gonna go...

Ooh!

'Cause that's what Grammies do.

Say something nice.

Make a friend.

You can have our Smart car!

What the f*** I wanna

do with a Smart car?

I'll put that motherf***er in drive

and drive it up your a**hole,

and step out of it and let

it run up your a**hole!

And there's gonna be

smoke coming out your ass!

But then you'd

be in my a**hole, too!

Shut the f*** up!

I already said it already!

That's my analogy!

I'll shoot that

goddamn Smart car dead!

Well, that's not

gonna work for us!

Nardo comes home with us!

Yeah, he's our friend!

He's your friend?

"He's my friend!"

Well, guess what?

I got friends,

too, motherf***er!

Okay, here's what

we're gonna do.

I am gonna go out there and draw

their fire to distract them,

you guys are gonna

run to Tracy's car.

If anybody should do it, it should be me.

What? Why you?

Because I'm a loser.

I mean, you're about

to get a promotion,

Nardo finally got Tracy,

he's gonna put a little baby

pig up there in that city.

What?

Yeah.

All right, guys.

Let's go get them!

Just like Thelma and Louise!

No, wait, they died!

They drove off the Grand Canyon!

What the f***?

Sh*t!

Beanbag.

Ooh.

Sh*t.

Nardo!

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