Secret Honor Page #3

Okay, Your Honor...

in 1939 I went to Cuba.

I -

[Snickers, Laughs]

A-A-After I almost got disbarred...

for signing some client's name to a -

[Continues Laughing]

Roberto, would you erase that,

please?

Your Honor,

I am trying to tell you...

about 1945.

I was just getting out of the navy.

An ad appeared

in the Whittier Daily News.

I will never forget it.

It said...

"Wanted:
Young man...

"interested in running for Congress.

Veteran preferred."

And then they listed the name

of a, uh, committee...

to contact.

So, well, l-I took some of my, uh,

poker winnings and I flew out there...

in my uniform, of course.

If the choice of this committee

comes to me...

I promise to wage an aggressive

and vigorous campaign...

based on a platform

of practical liberalism.

Well, it was those men -

l-I did, Your Honor.

I answered the ad.

They called themselves

the, uh, Committee of 100.

But the name's changed

many times over the years, oh, yes.

Uh, Committee for a Free Iran,

a free Guatemala...

a free, uh, Congo...

uh, a free, uh -

But always Taiwan. Oh, yes.

Always for a free Taiwan.

So, they did, Your Honor.

They selected me.

And they took my client

up to Bohemian Grove.

Now, that is where

the China plan was -

That's where I got the message.

Yes.

Up there in, uh, Bohemian Grove...

deep in the California Redwoods...

with the, uh -

the dogs and the guards...

and the prostitutes from Guerneville

at the caveman camp - I -

Your Honor, this young man,

Richard Nixon...

this boy from a poor family...

a boy who never had a break,

who never had a chance...

he was just overwhelmed

by these big men...

on the Committee of 100...

because they showed him a vision...

of the riches and power

of this world...

and he drank their words

and their visions, he -

[Giggling]

He had a little sip of their whiskey too...

this poor boy who couldn't drink.

Didn't know how to drink...

because of his strict

Quaker background.

And so, he, uh -

I may have said and done

some things up there that...

came back to haunt me...

25 years later...

when the real China card

was played.

I -Your Honor, that first night

up there in the Grove...

I couldn't sleep all night.

I was awake -Then -

Well, you know,

the big German shepherd dogs...

they're howling all night, you know.

But it was way off,

you know, in the, uh, in -

And the men, you know, they're -

they're laughing, singing, dancing.

You know, football songs mostly.

Marches, you know.

So, naturally, I was unable

to get any, uh -All the -

But it was, you know -

It was way off there in the, uh...

distance.

It was very, uh...

- [Solemnly:
"Notre Dame Fight Song"]

- Far away.

[Strikes Dissonant Note Three Times]

Uh, it's a little out of, uh -

But you were my mother's piano...

and that f***ing museum

is not going to get you!

[Continues]

[Striking Chords]

[Stammering] Your Honor,

I forgot to tell you about the whores.

Now, look, these guys were not homos

from Westchester County or Cambridge.

You know, this is not old money

or "the better sort."

I mean, these guys were Armenians

and, uh, Italians and Irish.

You know, assorted white trash.

Men!

And what they wanted

was a political laboratory...

and that is what they made

California into -

a kind of a, uh, proving ground

for later on.

You understand why all this

was music to my ears?

[Up-tempo:
"Notre Dame Fight Song"]

[Humming Along]

- [Stops]

- Your Honor, it was the words.

That was the real music to my ears,

because l-I -

You know what Coach said?

Coach said if you could run -

me, number 23 -

if you could run the ball

the way you run your mouth...

winning the big prizes, why-

[Laughs]

I'm gonna be a winner-Yes!

Because I've always been -

Now, these guys dancing with the hookers,

these guys were real winners!

I couldn't dance, not worth a goddamn.

My old man, he wouldn't dance.

He said it gave him a, uh -

You know, it aroused him. You know?

Me too! So now, you can imagine

I took a hell of a kidding on that.

But... you know what I did

when I ran for student council president?

I promised a liberal dress and dance code.

And you know something? I won!

[Chuckling]

My old man hated politicians.

So there's me saying, "Daddy, when I grow up

I'm gonna be an old-fashioned man.

I'm gonna be an honest lawyer.

I'm not gonna take any bribes."

Sh*t! If he'd gone beyond the sixth grade,

poor bastard would know that we were all crooks!

[Chuckles]

Well, sh*t!

I had the last laugh

on that son of a b*tch!

When I won that scholarship to Duke -

I -You see -

I still was not a winner yet.

A winner does not have to

break into the dean's office the way I did...

to find out what his grades are.

But I did graduate third

in my class, though.

But then, when we all went to New York

to interview for some big-time law firms...

I was a little out of my league,

and I knew that.

But I also knew this - I knew that

New York was the big time. Oh, yeah.

The big, big money!

I mean, New York,

with the clubs and the fast track!

I'll tell you this -

in New York, money talks!

Oh, yeah.

Money talks, talks, talks, talks, talks.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Anyway, Your Honor,

what I wanted to do -

I wanted to join

the Dulles brothers' law firm.

That's Sullivan and Cromwell.

You know, thick, plush carpeting and -

[Scoffs]

East Coast shits is what they really were.

Well, my two friends, they, um -

they did get taken on

by one of the big law firms.

I did not.

Well, then I tried to join the FBI.

I got turned down again.

I mean, Hoover-

I worshipped Hoover! See?

Then years later that son of a b*tch Hoover,

he tried to stab me in the back!

F*** him! Your Honor-

[Stammers]

What I'm trying to say here is that

the Committee of 100 had a plan...

and that was it.

In 1946, '48, '50,

right on through.

I - Look.

I was very young.

I was a kid.

And they gave me the blueprint...

for my life.

You understand that?

Well, tha-that's when, uh,

Murray Chotiner came into the picture.

Well, because Murray,

he was the link to Lansky...

and Ratner and, uh -

and the Mob and -

You see, what Hiss and the Kennedys, all those

East Coast pricks, never understood was...

that I would be a winner

because I was a loser.

That's right. I dream of failure

every night of my life, and that is my secret.

To make it in this rat race, you have to dream

of failing every day. I mean, that is reality.

Jews, n*ggers, Reds, kikes...

old Nixons, new Nixons.

Because I am an American.

A real American-that's me!

I'm not some rich Ivy League prince

that thinks that he is a winner.

See? What the big guys thought was,

is that I was a dogcatcher.

Yeah, I was. I am!

And a, uh, used-car salesman too.

Oh, s-sure, fine!

And a siding and a shingle man.

Because I knew that today

the dogcatcher is king!

And all those crooks

and those shysters...

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