See Here, Private Hargrove Page #6

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quick court-martial,

'cause I'm through with

that kind of stuff!

And you can say that again...

And again and again...

I don't like that.

Say, if he stops writing,

that's practically robbing

me of that extra money!

Where are you going?

To the showers.

You just had a shower.

I missed a spot

on my left leg.

Tough day, Hargrove?

[Giggling quietly]

Hi, old kid!

What's the good word?

Shut up! That's what

the good word is.

Don't bite me. I

didn't stick you

on that street-cleaning

detail.

You're in the

army, aren't you?

Anything or anybody

connected with this army

is strictly a pain

in the arm to me.

Now, that attitude's just

asking for trouble.

Might as well ask for it.

I get it anyway.

Now, look, let's be logical.

All right, you hate the army.

So the first thing you

know, you'll get in a jam.

What will that lead to?

A brick wall and a

firing squad, I hope.

Worse than that, even.

No furlough.

No fur...

and by that, I mean

no trip to New York

to see Carol, get it?

Well, maybe.

And kicking that

typewriter like that

and swearing off writing!

Why, that means no dough!

So even if you get

your furlough,

you won't be able to go

anyplace but Fayetteville.

Aw, what's the difference?

But if you buckle down to it,

why, the furlough's a cinch.

And, uh, if you just knock out a

couple articles for the paper,

well, so is the dough, see?

Yeah, I see what you mean.

But, uh, why are

you so anxious

to see me writing again?

Ain't I your pal?

I mean, in addition to that.

Oh. Well, I figure...

you figure that

sooner or later,

you'll be able to swindle

some of that extra dough.

Now, that is a

rotten thing to say!

Naturally, if you

should happen to need

some money, say,

for a furlough...

Or a trip, or

anything like that,

well, I'd be happy

to help you out.

For a substantial cut, huh?

Well, we might be able to figure

out something advantageously.

I see. Well, thank you very

much for your pep talk,

and I'll do just

exactly as you say.

Hey, you will?

Sure. Ha ha!

But I don't need

your help, thanks,

so you can forget about chiseling

in on that extra dough.

Well, that's a very unfriendly

way to look at things.

Hey, I dropped my soap.

Can you help me find it?

Oh, never mind about

your soap... ooh!

Oh... You found it.

Aw, thanks.

[Groans]

Fire!

[Cannon firing]

Today, we're firing

for a record!

Stay on the ball!

Corporal:
Battery, adjust!

Shell h.E., charge

4, fuse quick,

base deflection right, 8-0!

On number one, open two!

Speed and accuracy

count, Hargrove.

Make sure you're on

your aiming stakes.

Corporal:
S.I. 300!

Battery, 3 rounds

at my command!

1-3-8-0.

1-3-8-0. Check.

Set.

Ready.

Number 3 is ready!

Fire!

[Cannon firing]

Set.

Ready. 3 gun ready!

Fire!

[Cannon firing]

I wonder how we made out.

With Hargrove as gunner,

we'll be lucky if we

didn't hit the old man.

Is that so?

Do you want to know

how we made out?

All:
Yeah! What happened?

Greatest number of rounds

fired, number 3 gun.

How about that?!

Did we hit anything?

Greatest number

of hits scored...

Number 3 gun.

Us?!

Good work, men.

Ha ha ha!

Just wait till I collect

those paychecks. Just wait!

Due to the fact that Private

Hargrove was our gunner,

I was able to get odds

ranging from 2-1 to 5-1.

So, for an initial

investment of $6.00,

we win... Let me see, now...

We win $18.75.

And...

And the $6.00 back.

So that's 6 for

you and 6 for you

and 6 for you, and

a 75-cent bonus

for our esteemed gunner,

Private Marion Hargrove.

Oh! Hear, hear! This goes into

my furlough fund, fellas...

New York!

One of you guys Hargrove?

That's me.

B.C.'s office... right away.

I didn't do anything!

Maybe they got the

target scores mixed up.

You better beat it

over there, kid.

Yeah, I guess I'd better.

Say, have you got

six 1s for a 5?

Sure.

Oh, fine. Thank you very much.

Hey!

At ease, Hargrove.

Hargrove, I don't

mind telling you

that when you first

joined this battery,

my first impulse was to

resign and join the Navy.

Yes, sir.

But during the past 6 weeks,

I've detected improvement.

Oh, you have?!

Uh, yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Now, on the firing

range today,

you not only lived up

to my expectations,

but, um, I never expected

it in the first place.

Yes, sir?

We're about to go out on a

field problem, Hargrove,

and I want to bring out the

qualities of leadership

and resourcefulness in

every eligible man.

"Private Marion

Hargrove, as of today,

you are appointed to the rank

of acting corporal with..."

[Thud] Good grief,

he's fainted!

Now, this field problem between

the blue and the red army,

in which we're the blue,

involves our moving out at 2100.

We move to sunken track, where

there'll be a d-11 marker.

Rendezvous area lies 200

yards north of bivouac area.

First serial will lead

column to rendezvous area,

where they'll be met by marker

number two by this time... 2400.

Second serial will be at I.P.,

400 yards south

of bivouac area.

Battery will be laid parallel

to this point. Any questions?

Pretty dusty out. I think my

stripes will need cleaning.

You should only keep them so

long that they need cleaning!

Oh, listen, I'll keep these

and add more to them!

They said that the war

problems are a real test

of those men with

qualities of leadership.

Look, we're on the tail end

of these perambulators.

We go where they go and

do what we're told.

That's right.

We wouldn't know what to do

with leadership if we had it.

Which we haven't.

All right, so what's wrong

in shooting my mouth off?

Keeps me warm, doesn't

do anybody any harm.

Hey, corporal, the gun

brakes are dragging.

All right, you,

you, and you...

get down and give Burk a hand.

On the double!

You know, if I were on

the general's staff,

I wouldn't waste time crossing

Bridges and things like that.

I would put the whole

blue army on the train

and send them down to Florida.

Then I would put the whole

blue army on the boats,

and bring them up that way,

and I would surprise the

pants off the enemy.

Great.

Of course, it would

take two weeks,

and the field problem

would be over,

but it would be interesting.

How we coming, Burk?

It's all right here.

Ok, corporal.

All right, let's move out.

On the double!

Hold it! You can't use

the bridge up ahead.

It's been captured

by the enemy.

You'll have to get this piece

across lower down the river.

Have you got your map?

Sure, sarge.

Get to this point here...

the shallow ford marked off.

Get your piece across

and rejoin us here.

If you can't do that, get through

to first battalion headquarters.

You got that?

Yeah, sure, sarge.

You 4 men...

move forward to this point

and scout around

for enemy patrols.

All right, on the double.

Let's go, Burk!

Cut a path on your right flank

through the woods

to the water.

Ok, corporal.

I'll direct you from there.

Right.

[Starts engine]

All right, fellas... heeeeave!

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