See Here, Private Hargrove Page #7

---

Come on, men... heeeeave!

Easy does it, Burk!

Heeeeave!

Hold it, Burk! Hold it!

Hold it!

"I'll direct you from

there," he says.

Quiet!

All right now, on the count

of 3, everybody heave,

and this time, Burk, you

really give it the guns, see?

Aye-aye, skipper!

All right! Get ready!

Ready, men?

All right, 1, 2, 3...

heave!

[Engine growling]

Heave!

Heave!

Heave!

Heave!

Heave!

Heave!

Hold it, Burk! Hold it!

We're drowning!

Aye-aye, skipper!

Hold it! Hold it!

We're drowning!

It's the first time since

I've been in the army

I didn't have to stand

in line to get a shower.

Well, what do you

make of it, sir?

Well, offhand, just

as a snap judgment,

I would say we are

stuck in the mud!

Brilliant.

Anybody got any ideas?

Why don't we take it apart

and mail it to headquarters?

I've got it.

What's our problem?

How to get out of

here, but fast.

Right. Now, the wheels won't

catch on anything down there

because they haven't got

anything to catch on to.

So we'll put some boards

and planks under there,

and we'll breeze right out.

If we had a submarine to

cruise around in down there.

All right, listen, men...

first thing we do

is dump off that extra gas

drum to lighten the load.

Burk, get on that, will you?

Dump gas?

The corporal knows

what he's doing.

Follow orders.

I don't think you're

right, corporal.

The heavier the load, the

easier it's gonna...

quiet!

Corporals are always right.

Bye-bye.

All right, come on, men...

on the double!

[Sarcastic] On the double.

All right, on the

double, on the double.

What?

[Sputters]

Well, if it isn't Moby Dick.

All right, take it away, Burk!

Keep clear, men!

Easy does it, my

boy, easy does it!

[Starts engine]

Corp, you're a genius.

That's understood.

All right, come on, men...

on the double!

I'm coming on the double.

Hey, have you got any

idea where we are?

Well, according to this

compass and my calculations,

we are in the business

district of Montreal, Canada.

Lost, huh?

Well, let's just find the

first enemy detachment

and surrender.

I'm tired.

Surrender? No! They'll

never take me alive!

That's the spirit.

I'm with you.

No gas, corporal.

That does it.

Ha ha ha! No gas, huh!

Now how did that happen, corp?

Shut up. No gas?

We'll get some gas.

Just let me think.

What's the use?

We're lost, anyway.

You get more gas, you just

get that much more lost.

We're not lost!

Look, I've got it figured

out now exactly!

We're only about 8 miles

from headquarters base.

I can take us there directly!

Come on, fellas,

let's scatter out.

There must be a farm or a

gas station around here.

Burk, you stay

here with Betsy.

Yeah, corporal.

Mulvehill, bring along

that extra gas drum.

Yes, corporal.

Here you are, private.

On the double, on the double!

Hey! Hold it, Burk!

Hold it!

Ha ha ha!

We made it!

Hargrove, I didn't know

you had it in you.

Just leave everything to good

old Corporal Hargrove, fellas.

Hey, come on, Burk...

move out! Move out!

Oh, boy!

Oh, boy! Divisional

headquarters!

And then to top that,

we ran out of gas,

but that didn't stop me.

We commandeered

some from a farm.

So here we are,

we got the gun,

and it's ready

for action, sir.

Well, corporal, you've gone

through quite a lot

to bring your gun in.

Yes, sir.

I want to compliment you on

your resourcefulness, corporal.

Thank you, sir.

I believe you said that

your unit was attached

to "D" battery, blue

battalion, is that correct?

Yes, sir.

In that event, corporal,

since this is "c" battery,

red battalion headquarters,

you men are prisoners.

[Embarrassed laugh]

Boy, what a strategist

I turned out to be.

What a tactician!

I really maneuvered those

maneuvers, didn't I?

Ahh, who cares about that?

I don't care about myself.

I'm so used to K.P. that

even in Fayetteville,

if I see a garbage

can on the street,

I stop and polish it.

But I get you and the

other guys in trouble.

Oh, I don't mind.

I don't imagine Burk and

Esty mind much, either.

Nah.

Only I'm sorry they

busted you, that's all.

Of course if your conscience

bothers you too much,

why don't you take the boys

into town tonight for a feed?

I'll come along,

too, if you insist.

Hey, fellas...

General Hargrove's compliments

to his staff,

and he'd like to invite the members

of gun crew 3 to join him tonight

at dinner in Fayetteville.

Say, that's keen.

That did you do? Kid strike

gold in that garbage can?

No, it's my furlough money.

You can imagine my chances

of getting a furlough now.

And if I did, they'd probably make

me take along the garbage cans!

This morning, I want you guys

to police up your barracks

better than you've ever

done it before.

Battery, attention!

Chief of sections, take over!

Chief:
Platoon dismissed!

[Groans]

Some party we had last night.

I can hardly stand.

Sergeant:
Hargrove?

Your furlough just

came through.

10 days. You leave tonight.

Oh, but sergeant, I'm not prepared

right now to take my furlough...

you asked for it, didn't you?

Well, yes, but I...

well, you've got it.

You don't have to take the

furlough if you don't want it,

but it may be some time

before you can get another.

But sergeant,

I-I'm broke, I...

you can spend your furlough

in the public library

in Fayetteville

for all I care.

Do you want it or don't you?

I'll take it.

All right.

Gee, that's tough.

I feel like a heel.

Thanks, guys.

Hey, Mulvehill.

Yeah?

I just got my furlough.

You'll have to help me out.

Well, I don't know.

But you have to! I

haven't a quarter!

I spent it all last night.

Well, if you're going to

throw your dough around

like a drunken

artilleryman, Hargrove,

I'm sure there's...

why, you wild Irish

confidence man...

whose idea was it to blow

everybody to a big treat, huh?

Well, this should teach you

not to trust everybody

you meet in the army.

Look...

ever since I sold

my first article,

you've been trying to muscle

in on that extra dough, right?

Well, that's a little strong,

but that's the general idea.

And how. Well,

here's your chance.

You finance my furlough,

and you're a partner.

You mean it?

I got to mean it.

Ok, don't worry, I'll fix it.

Come on!

The meeting will

come to order.

[Coughs]

"The name of this association

"shall be the Marion Hargrove

Beneficial Association,

"set up for the

purpose of supplying

"the said Marion Hargrove

with sufficient funds

to visit New York on his

forthcoming furlough."

I'd like to change the wording

to read "ample funds."

"Sufficient" is

what I've got here.

Oh.

"In consideration of this

and any subsequent loans

"made by the association,

"the said Marion Hargrove

"assigns, bequeaths, devises,

and bestows to the association

"all right, title,

and principle of,

"in and to, any payments

of money made to him

"or his heirs or assigns

by the United States Army,

or from any source

whatsoever."

That makes me as much of

a slave as Uncle Tom.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes