Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World Page #5

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Well, why don't you write us out

any number of expensive,

time-sensitive tickets,

and we'll be on our way?

I need some identification.

Of course. My name is Penny,

and this is Dodge.

Hi.

Okay. License and registration.

Well, you see, that's where

we've got a problem,

because I didn't get a chance

to retrieve my identification

before fleeing my home

during a deadly riot.

However, we were fortunate enough

to hitch a ride with a very nice trucker,

who, turns out, had hired a hit

man to assist him in a suicide,

thus bestowing us with this...

This beautiful mode of transportation.

So, the answer is no, no Iicense

or registration here.

However, given the current

situation with the...

Couldn't you find it in your heart

to set aside the Iaw just this once

and Iet us on our way, so that

I can give my friend here

a fighting chance of being

with the one he Ioves

before we all reach our

untimely conclusion?

No.

AII right.

Oh, excuse me, do we get a phone call?

No, phones are dead.

Okay.

Have fun.

Oh! Hello? What are you in for?

Disturbing the peace.

Brilliant.

Well, might as well get comfortable.

This is as good a place to die as any.

I ruined your Iife.

No, you didn't.

Oh, yes, I did.

I ruined my Iife, and I

took you down with me.

I was a terrible neighbor, and I'm a...

I'm an awful daughter.

Hey. Hey.

Shh.

Look at him.

Sound asleep in his sandwich

board. You know why?

'Cause he always knew the end was near.

And he's currently not surprised.

You are Iooking at a vindicated man.

How come you're not with your family?

I don't really have any.

What do you mean?

My mother passed away,

and my father drove away a Iong time ago.

My wife recently ran away, as fast

as any human woman could.

It only took Armageddon to

give her the courage.

Which is ironic, because

being afraid of dying alone is why

I got married in the first place.

Your roommate was your wife.

My wife was my roommate.

Should have Iistened to my mother.

Even after she got sick, she

always made the most sense.

You would have Iiked her.

She would have Iiked you, too.

You think so?

She died alone.

Guess it doesn't matter now.

How Iong since you've seen your dad?

Um...

Twenty-five years?

Twenty-five years? Wow.

Well, don't you have anything

to say to him?

Nothing good.

Well, what about Olivia?

We were together on and off for ten years.

She wanted to get married.

I didn't pull the trigger.

Somebody else did.

And then I met Linda, and the

rest is almost history.

What did she say, Olivia, in her Ietter?

She said she and her husband

had gotten divorced,

and that she had a 6-year-old

son named Marcus,

and she asked about my parents,

and she said she missed me.

You know, garden-variety "end

of the world" mumbo jumbo.

I did ruin your Iife.

No, you didn't.

I had a really Iong head start.

Oh, man, I don't feel good.

Is that the weed kicking in?

What does it feel Iike?

Feels Iike I'm falling off a cliff

with a bomb strapped to my chest.

Well, that could be anything.

Damn it, Wally!

There you go. Look who's

here. Look who's here.

Hey, hey, hey. Come here.

There you go.

Well, sorry, folks,

but Wally's been taking the quota

pretty serious these days,

and I'm afraid that...

Well, your truck was impounded.

Is there some place I can drop you folks?

Uh, Delaware.

Yeah... No.

How far is it to Camden?

No matter where the impact occurs,

it will create a firestorm that

will wipe out all life.

Thank you!

So how Iong were you with this guy?

Total?

Nine months, plus six more.

How do you know he's going to be here?

He's always here.

There he is.

Penny.

Hey, Speck.

Oh, my goodness.

I knew you'd come back.

No, I'm not back. I...

We were just in the neighborhood.

I haven't seen this girl in 12 months

and she's just in the neighborhood.

Lance Corporal James Speck.

Speck, this is Dodge...

Lieutenant Colonel Dodge Petersen.

Look, we're in a bit of a pickle,

and I was hoping that you

could help us out.

Helping you out of a pickle

should be my middle name.

Na-hah!

Come on. Bring your Iittle amigo.

You have to Ieave the dog up top.

Mom just vacuumed the bomb shelter.

Come on, I'll show you the digs.

Fellas.

Hey.

That's Entertainment.

Sports and Recreation.

And if nature calls...

Hey.

Wow.

As you can see, we have enough rations

to Iive down here comfortably

for a good six months.

These walls are 12 inches

of pure titanium.

Yeah, I was going to say 11.

Resurfacing won't be that easy.

The world will need a strong Ieader.

Is that a satellite phone?

It is. You want to call your folks?

What?

Yeah, I was talking to your

dad the other day.

What time is it across the pond, 1600?

I don't know.

Mum?

It's me.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.

I'm fine. We got out.

Uh, me and a friend.

Yeah, he is.

Hi, Dad.

I miss you Iike crazy.

Tell me everything. How's the

garden? Is everyone there?

Is that Benny? Yeah, yeah. Put him on.

Oh, you twat.

No. You're mental.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I hear the baby.

Is that my niece?

Yeah.

She sounds beautiful.

What did you name her?

You have a Iot of guns and

a Iot of potato chips.

Yeah, gotta be safe.

So how Iong you known our Penny?

About a week.

Give or take.

So what's your pitch?

My pitch?

'Cause Iet me tell you something

about that girl.

She may be a romantic on the outside,

but on the inside she's all survivor.

And she knows her best chance of survival

is sitting right here, and

I'm talking about me.

Can we restart civilization without her?

Sure.

But she deserves to be one of the top

quality females in contention.

There's no room for you, dude.

That's okay.

Got a pretty good Iead on a school desk.

There she is.

Uh, we should go.

I thought you were staying.

I promised I'd take him

somewhere. Can we...

Can we borrow one from the fleet?

Are you sure you don't want a

fallout tablet for the road?

That's okay, thanks.

The car's a Ioan, Penny.

I want to see it back here with you in it.

Thank you.

For everything.

I should have married you.

When?

When you would've said yes.

Dodgy-Dodge.

Keep her out of trouble.

You okay?

They sounded good.

They sounded really good.

My dry cleaner.

Meatball subs at Zuzu's. Mmm.

Mmm... Mmm-hmm. Uh...

Ducks pond in the summertime.

Mmm, riding the subway.

Oh, you Iost me there. Nobody

misses the subway.

No, I did some of my best people-watching

on the subway.

Huh.

How about things that we

are not going to miss?

Like going to the dentist.

Oh! Dr. Hoberman.

Oh, my God. Oh.

Dr. Hoberman.

That's it. Wow.

I cannot tell you how many

hours I spent out here

obsessing over that window.

Which window?

Right there.

That's a good window.

I don't think anybody's home.

Oh, come on, we have to try.

I'll be right here if you need me.

Nobody's home.

Try the knob.

You know what, she's definitely not here.

Well, we've driven all this way

and it has definitely not been in vain.

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