Send Me No Flowers Page #3

Who? - Janet and Bill Hart.|Don't you remember? - No.

After Bill died Janet needed somebody|to lean on, so she took the first guy.

One week after the funeral|she ran off with a bongo player.

A bongo player?|- Yeah.

Took her for every cent.|- Is that going to happen to Judy?

Who knows? She could turn to the first|man that comes along. - Holy cow!

Arnold? There's no question:

Judy should marry again, but to|the right man. I've got to find him.

Another husband? Who, George?

I don't know. I'll find somebody.

I'm a married man, George.

Not you. Woods must be|full of eligible bachelors.

Did it come yet, baby?|- What, mio amore?

The 50 thou,|the old boy's life insurance.

Is that enough, Vito?|- For now.

If we need more we can sell the joint.

Mr. Kimball is here, Mr. Atkins.

You phoned us about|the purchase of a final resting place.

Sit down, won't you?|- Thank you.

This has been a busy morning.|Did you see the Archers? - Who?

The Archers on Meadow Rd.|Do you know them? - I don't think so.

They're a family of 8. They|were all in. Wonderful to see them.

You don't get|those big families anymore.

I can understand your point of view.|- Do you know Green Hills? - Pardon?

Do you have anyone residing with us?|- Not as yet.

You saw our advertising campaign.|- No, I must have missed it.

I think I have a copy somewhere.|Oh, there it is.

There she be.

Sure hits you in the eye, doesn't it?

Yes, it sure does.|- We suggest

the entire family all go out|and select the final resting place.

The kids love it. They have a ball!|- I'll bet they do.

If you'll notice, all monuments|in Green Hills are the same height,

4 feet. As you see, it gives|a wonderful impression of uniformity.

A sort of Levittown of the hereafter.

I like that.

"The Levittown of..." - Mr. Atkins,|could we get down to business?

Yes Siree-Bob.|As soon as I find the old order pad.

Here we are!

Now, how many in your family,|Mr. Kimball?

Just my wife and myself.

Oh, well. That's alright.

Chance of any little additions, maybe?

Well, there might be|another man along later.

I beg your pardon.

Mr. Atkins, let me ask you a question.

Assuming the husband goes first,|and then later on the wife remarries.

Then the wife goes next, and she's|buried alongside her first husband.

When the second husband goes,|is he buried alongside the other two?

I mean, are they all put in together?

Yes, that happens.

Well, make it for three.

Alrighty, reservations for three.

Now, how much is this?|- $1,000. - $1,000?

We throw in the 1st year's gardening.|How's that get you?

Swell.

I'd like write the check to cash.|- Suit yourself.

You see, I'd rather|my wife didn't know about this.

You want to surprise her.|- Yes.

This'll give her a real thrill!

It makes a very thoughtful gift.|Let me show you.

We've got a lovely layout.

I think we'll put you in K-1, 2 and 3.

Sunset Hill,|right next to Folded Wings.

Oh, you're lucky.

That's nice high ground.|Lovely view from here.

Sounds marvellous.|- It's a honey.

When is it available? - It's kept|in tip-top shape at all times.

Whenever you're ready,

we're ready.|- That's comforting.

Thank you, Mr. Atkins. - There's one|more thing I think you should know.

What's that? - It's not of immediate|concern, but there are plans

for a state highway|that would go through Green Hills.

A state highway? - Not until 1980,|and that's not definite.

But in the event it does|come to pass, we'll see to everything

at our expense. - What does that mean?|- We'll either move you

or, if you wish,|put you deeper under the freeway.

I see.

Either way,|whatever the others do, I'll go along.

Fine and dandy.

I'll get the deed to you|in a day or so.

Enjoy your work, don't you?|- I wouldn't want to do anything else.

I like people.|- Well, goodbye. - Oh, Mr. Kimball!

Your green stamps.

I'll change. Meet you in 15 minutes.|- I don't think I'll play today.

Oh, George!|- No, I don't think I'd better.

Oh honey, I hate to play alone.|- I'll meet you on the ninth green.

Okay.

Arnold, I did it.|- Yeah?

I bought a cemetery plot.|- Good. Use it in good health.

I'm sorry.|I'm not in very good shape today.

I've just one more thing to attend to,|then I'll stop this gallivanting,

and go to bed and wait.|- What's that?

A husband for Judy. Look:

I made a list of all|the eligible bachelors around here.

Good morning Arnold, George.|- Hi. - Hi, Sam.

How about old Sam Scheffing?|- He hasn't got a quarter.

Never could stand him, anyway.|- Judy needs a wealthy man.

How about Paul Pendergrass?|He's playing tennis here today.

He's reasonably good-looking.

Not as reasonable as you, but...

I'm sorry.

There's Harry Hanson.

Plays a great handicap. Two.|Is he on your list? - No.

Put him on the list. Fine competitor.

Fore!

You're a fraud, Harry Hanson!|- Shh, quiet. Sit down and be quiet.

You should be exposed!|- Come on, let's find Judy.

It's a little discouraging, isn't it?|- A bit.

I said it yesterday:|The woods are full of them.

What woods, George?|- What's the difference? Any woods.

What's that?|- Time for my pill.

It hardly seems|worthwhile to take a pill.

I'm sorry, George.

Help! Look out, George!

Look out, George!

Judy, wait! Arnold, hurry.

No, go that way.

Faster, Arnold!

Look out!

I can't stop! I'm sorry.

Somebody, stop this thing!

Step on it!|- I am!

Thank you.|- It's alright, you're safe now.

What's the matter with you?

Now, just a minute...|- Judy!

Bert!

Bert Power!|- Judy Heppleway!

Gosh, you look pretty as ever!|- I'm sure I look terrible!

Judy Heppleway.|- George, George Kimball!

Maybe we should go, we're intruding.|- Bert,

meet my husband George and our|good friend and neighbor Arnold Nash.

Fellas, this is Bert Power, my|college... - Sweetheart. Hi, Arnold.

George. - Oh, excuse me,|I thought you were the good friend.

I'm not her good friend,|I'm her husband. For now, anyway.

So, you married little Judy Heppleway.

Yes, I did. - No offence.|Judy was always the campus queen.

I figured she'd wind up marrying|someone like Cary Grant.

No, she just married me.|- I think she did just fine.

So do I. - And so do I.|- Little Judy Heppleway.

If you don't mind, her name's Kimball,|because she married me.

Now, that's a perfectly good name.|- Bertie, what are you doing here?

Just flew in from Phoenix for|a little business swindle. - Swindle?

You should put on dry clothes.|Let's go to your little country club

and some lunch, so we|can really talk. - Oh, marvellous!

I'm so glad to see you.|- Are we invited too?

Oh, sure, come along.|- Come on, George.

Tell me, what do you do these days?|- As a matter of fact, I'm in oil.

Oil? Isn't it fascinating?

It's marvellous tax-wise.

The first 27.5 percent|go right into your pocket. - Really?

People always belly-aching about|needing money should all get into oil.

It would certainly wipe out poverty.

What's your line of business, George?

I'm with Connell Electronics.|- Are you on the big board? - No.

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