Senior Project Page #7

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an invite from spencer and...

You. [ chuckles ]

sam:
I figured you'd be too

embarrassed to show your faces.

Peter:

no, well, you figured wrong.

-sam:
apparently.

-peter:
yeah.

Natalia:
why are you not wearing

real shoes?

What happened to the pair

that I bought you?

Spencer:

I donated them to africa.

You remember that,

right, natalia?

Natalia:

[ sighs ] africa!

[ laughing ]

god, I really need punch.

-anyone? Anyone?

-spencer:
yeah, me, too.

[ both chuckle ]

peter:
yeah.

Sam:
so you're --

you're actually dating her.

Peter:
I am actually dating her,

and you're actually dating him?

Sam:
actually, I am.

Peter:
that's awesome

because the last time I checked,

he's actually into guys.

Sam:
he plays for both teams,

actually.

Peter:
fantastic.

Sam:

[ chuckles ] amazing.

-peter:
great.

-sam:
amazing.

Young man:
watch out, bro.

Andy:

oh, man. oh, man.

Isn't that the same dude

that sh*t himself last year?

Spencer:

tequila. your favorite.

Natalia:
you remembered.

Spencer:

of course, natalia.

Natalia:
so, you're throwing

a party with her.

Spencer:
yes, I am.

Make you jealous?

Natalia:
of what?

I thought you turned gay.

Spencer:
[ laughs ]

you can't turn gay.

Natalia:
spencer grace,

you better be gay.

Why else did we break up?

Spencer:
we broke up because

you're a shitty girlfriend.

I mean,

let's be honest, natalia.

All you care about

are handbags and jimmy choos.

And you know

I don't care about shoes.

And don't even get me started on

when I try to talk about my dad

'cause you just ignore me

like I never even said anything.

Natalia:
okay, well,

at least you talk to your dad.

My dad didn't remember

my birthday,

like he doesn't every year,

and you know that,

and you didn't bother to text

or call or anything.

You are so self-centered.

You were

a shitty boyfriend, too,

with your self-righteous,

new-age, mumbo jumbo,

but now I have a new boyfriend,

and he is a hot nerd.

Spencer:

that's -- that's great for you.

I guess that makes us even.

Andy:
hello, face.

[ laughs ]

spencer:
you're editing

that out, right, clown?

Andy:

man, you ain't editing nothing.

-sam:
fantastic.

-peter:
excellent.

-sam:
stupendous. great.

-natalia:
peter.

Peter:
oh.

Natalia:

so, I was thinking

that maybe

we should get away tomorrow,

go to the beach or something.

Peter:
oh, uh, yeah,

t-t-that'd be great,

except I was hoping we'd work on

the senior project tomorrow.

Natalia:
god, you're so serious

all the time.

Don't be such a bore.

Peter:
mm, that's great,

but, yeah, uh, sure.

Sam:
spencer,

I am so sorry about this.

It's not personal.

Spencer:
okay, what the --

what the hell was that, sam?

Sam:
that was me getting

really turned on by the music.

Spencer:
that was horrible.

Why did you just do that?

Sam:
no, it wasn't.

I-i did it

because I like you so much.

Spencer:
that was like kissing

my cousin,

and now natalia's mad at me

because of you.

Sam:
okay, that's great.

Because it all matters

about natalia, right?

Why do you even care?

You broke up with her.

-spencer:
because -- [ sighs ]

-sam:
because why?

Because you're not

actually broken up?

Because you have a --

spencer:

because I'm not gay.

Sam:
what?!

[ groans ]

andy:
oh, my god,

sh*t is getting real.

Spencer just got b*tch slapped,

and I knew it was gonna happen,

but it's getting real, man.

Follow me.

Let's see what else happens.

[ hip-hop music playing ]

[ music fades out ]

ms. ghetty:
oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh!

What do we have here?

Evidence of teenage drinking.

Sam:
uh, ms. ghetty,

i-i-i can explain.

Ms. ghetty:

where are your parents?

Sam:

out of town on business.

Ms. ghetty:
tell them

to call me immediately.

The office

just got a request from you

to use the gym

for your fashion presentation.

But guess what?

I'm denying it.

Sam:
what?

Ms. ghetty:
you're lucky that

I don't call the cops right now.

Young man:
[ vomiting ]

ms. ghetty:
you just went down

two letter grades, miss.

Young man:
my bad.

Jill:
what is this, sam?

Are you performing communion?

Sam:

exorcism is more like it.

Just -- just don't --

I can't even --

andy:
I think there's some sh*t

on your shoes.

Sam:
there is sh*t

on my shoes, andy!

Oh! [ groans ]

[ bell ringing ]

[ indistinct conversations ]

sam:

of course she does.

She's a pathetic troll

who hates everybody.

This one time,

I saw her spill her frappuccino

all over

my college portfolio sketches.

Andy:
[ laughs ]

sam:

she didn't even say sorry.

She'd do anything to be sure

that I don't go

to fashion school.

You better strike that

from the record, andy.

Andy:
"you better strike that

from the record, andy."

[ scoffs ] I know.

Oh, come on.

[ groans ]

[ humming ]

ms. ghetty:

where did you get this footage?

Jill:
andy's in

my video production class.

He left his hard drive there.

Spencer:
I swear to god,

she hasn't been laid

since at least

the '94 guns n' roses tour.

Andy:
[ laughs ]

ms. ghetty:

well, that's just not true.

Sam:
she's a pathetic troll

who hates everybody.

Ms. ghetty:

I hate some people.

Andy:
this just in --

ghetty is into the beastiality,

[ laughing ]

and I have nothing to --

jill:
they're all supposed to be

meeting at peter's house next.

Ms. ghetty:

well, that's where we're going.

Natalia:
oh, my god.

Is that your car?

Peter:
yeah.

I mean, not yet.

My dad said he'd give it to me

when I graduate.

Natalia:
get the keys!

[ tires squealing ]

peter:
whoa!

Uh, yeah.

[ both laugh ]

natalia:
I feel like

I'm in the batmobile.

And I'm your bad batgirl.

Whoa-oh-oh

People try to --

[ gate buzzes ]

spencer:

wow, andy, you know a code.

Good for you.

Let's go.

Andy:

we're best friends.

Yo, I'm telling you

right now, man.

This ice cream,

bro, best flavor I've ever had.

Ever, ever, ever.

Spencer:
you don't think you're

exaggerating just a little bit?

Just a little bit?

Andy:
no, no, I'm not

exaggerating a little bit.

Spencer:
yo, if you keep eating

that much ice cream,

you're gonna have cardiac arrest

before we even finish

our projects.

Andy:
all right,

who has cardiac arrest nowadays?

All right, listen, okay?

Like, in life,

certain people need,

you know, certain things to get

them through certain things.

It's, like,

all those different yoga poses

that gets you through the day.

See, me?

Me, on the other hand...

Mm!

What you know

about these 32 flavors?

Ooh!

One, you're about to try

this one right now.

Look at that.

Look at that.

[ ringing ]

let it simmer.

Let it soak.

Let it just melt.

Just -- just savor it.

Put it back in there.

Just -- there you go.

You got to -- [ growls ]

-spencer:
you try one.

-andy:
no, I don't want it.

Unh-unh. it already hit your --

hit your --

mnh-mnh.

That's all you.

Natalia:

this is so romantic.

Peter:
i-i need to get back home

to my bugs.

I think I accidentally left them

out in the sun,

and I don't want them

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