Senior Skip Day Page #2

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you would like to join him...

in the minimum wage

club? For instance.

Peter O' Leary, still interested

in going to Michigan State?

Gary Glenn, I suppose you're

still interested in Cal Arts?

Timmy Cisineros, Apex Tech?

What the hell is Apex Tech?

What's with his choise?

I n addition, there's something very

important here I want you to know.

I would not have been privy

to any of this information...

without the aid of a

very special student.

Someone I respect a lot. So as

you're going through your day,

hitting the books, I want

you to think to yourselves,

"Maybe I should be a little

more like Adam Harris".

Wough...

I don't f***ing believe you,

Harris.

Oh, bro!

Alright Scott, knock it off.

No, Mr. Rigetti,

this is f***ing bullshit.

That Adam Harris here had

to ruin our Skip Day. No

Relax, dude, sit down.

Alright, take it easy.

- Yeah, that's enough!

- Okay people...

It happened, alright? it sucks. You

think Rigetti doesn't know life sucks.

I wanna die right now. I wanna die.

I wanna curl up

into a little ball...

and I wanna die.

How's it going?

I'm... I'm alright,

how are you doing?

- Shitty.

- Yeah...

I heard about your brother,

I'm so sorry about that.

Yeah, sh*t sucks.

What's that?

Oh this?

This f***ing eulogy.

I didn't expect him to die so

quick, I was still working on it.

Jesus, that's rough.

Sh*t, who're you telling?

Now I gotta change

all this cancer crap...

into this parachute malfunction

for the funeral today.

Funeral? Wait, wait, where's

the funeral service?

At my Auntie's house where we

had that bitchin' party last fall.

You hang in there.

- Thanks, man.

- Yeah.

Funeral, huh?

Okay, alright look. I know this

is bad, okay? But look at me.

I mean, I'm desperate here,

okay? My entire class hates me.

I'm backed up against a wall,

alright? So don't judge me.

A skydiving accident?

Yes, sir.

You said he had cancer.

Oh, he did sir.

So, if a kid has cancer, what's he

doing jumping out of an airplane?

Well, he was living

life to the fullest, sir.

And, and I think it's only

fitting, that we take a page...

from little Jamal Washington's

short yet fearless life...

and that we set aside

whatever excellent curriculum...

our teachers may have

prepared for us this afternoon...

and instead, suffer through

a much crueler but ultimately...

far more powerful lesson.

That is, the frailty of human life.

I don't know, Adam, sounds

a little far fetched to me.

Mr. Dickwalter, if I may,

you need to ask yourself...

why would I tip you off to the

location of the Skip Day party...

saving your house and

your personal belongings...

from a vicious thrashing,

I might add...

only to create some

fantastic mirage?

You know, if this was from

any other student but you...

I'd be a little suspicious, but considering

it's you Adam, you're different.

Yes, sir.

You spend your time

studying and debating.

They spend all their time

drinking and having sex.

Yeah.

We're not so different, you and I.

Oh!

You remind me of me

when I was your age.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Out from the same cloth,

as they say. Huh? Huh?

Huh, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, huh, yeah!

That'a boy! Don't be

afraid of it, son.

I think I'm gonna puke.

A school lies in mourning.

A little boy has died.

So, I declare this day

Jamal Washington Day.

I am actually impressed with you man.

Yeah, way to save your ass from getting

dry docked by the entire senior class.

So what now?

Wait, wait, wait, everybody, um,

just... huh, hang on one second.

Please, um. Look, I know... I know

I really messed things up today...

huh... with my...

with my big mouth.

- You suck.

- Uh-huh...

but, see the thing is, we could still

turn this into the best Skip Day ever.

We'll have the party at my house.

Harris, that is

so nice of you.

And I bet you have a whole basement

full of alcohol for us to drink?

Do ya? No?!

Look buddy, you're

in over your head here.

A party at your house is gonna

be lame. Come on, let's go.

I can get you booze.

How do you know this guy?

I don't know this guy.

Well, how do you know him?

I don't. I thought

he was your friend.

Holy sh*t, that's a lot

of booze for 40 dollars.

We can go now.

That guy's got a gun. That guy's

got a gun. Start the car, Sicki!

- F***, f***, f***.

- Roll up the window!

Drive the car!

Drive the car!

Drive! Drive!

- Oh, f***! Jesus.

- My f***ing window!

- What the f***.

- Jesus!

That was awesome.

Tough break, cancer boy dying

in a freak skydiving accident.

Yeah, I did a little

parachute work myself.

I was a paratrooper in the Gulf

War, the first one. The big one.

- Did you?

- Yep.

My instructor told me that 1 in

17, 000 jumps go bad, and only..

a quarter of those are fatal.

Would it surprise you,

Dickwalter, if I told you...

that only 1 in 3.8 million

kids have cancer?

Okay.

And his funeral lands

on Skip Day, I mean...

what are the odds? It's gotta be

astronomical, like getting the lottery.

Maybe that's what I'll do

right now, Mr. Dickwalter.

Maybe I'll go buy a lottery ticket.

Hey, I can't carry the

speakers by myself.

What'd you say? Can't carry the

speakers by yourself?

That's 'cause you're a p*ssy.

What's your deal, man?

I love high school.

You do? You f***in' nuts?

Sh*t no, this is the best

time of your life.

Really?

You build your future on the foundation

that's poured during high school.

Don't squander it, son.

Hello, ma'am.

Hello.

Oh no.

- Oh Blanche.

- What's she doing here?

She must have escaped

from the home again.

Well, that can't be over here long.

Say, Minn, what do you know about

this Washington kid's funeral?

So, what you trying to say?

That because I'm black,

I gotta know where...

every other black

person's funeral is at?

Oh, Jesus.

- That we all know one another?

- Here we go.

Every black person

is a f***ing cousin.

Frankly, yes.

Well, I'll have you know that

I'm married to a white man.

Fantastic.

Very touching words, Auntie

Sue. Thank you very much.

And now, Jamal's Uncle Sheik would

like to sing a song in loving memory.

This goes out to Jamal, yeah.

Wasserman, Weston. Washington.

Alright.

Hello, who this?

Lamar, is that you?

Huh, yeah.

Who this?

"Who this?"

It's Mr. Dickwalter.

Okay, Mr. Dickwalter.

What do you want?

What's going on

over there, Lamar?

What'd you think? I'm at

my brother's funeral!

Doesn't sound like any

funeral I've ever been to.

It sounds more

like a party to me.

Who're you talking to?

It's my principal,

Mr. Dickwalter.

Give me that.

Tell me what's really going

on over there, you little sh*t.

How 'bout you

go f*** yourself!

How 'bout-hello? How

'bout I go f*** myself?

I don't f*** myself, my friend.

I don't f*** myself ever.

You f*** yourself. People

f*** themselves. Not me!

[cell phone rings]

Motherf***er!

Listen to me. You call this f***ing

number one more goddamn time...

and I'm gonna back my brand new

Escalade over your motherfucking skull!

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