Senior Skip Day Page #3

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I don't...

Hm-mm, where you going? To do some

more generalizing about black folks?

Number one, yes. Number

two, shut up! Number three,

I think that Adam

Harris was duped...

and there really is a Senior

Skip Day party going on.

And I'm just the

guy to bust it.

Hey, Snippy, we should

have the party right here.

I appreciate the thought...

but'd you really think my house

is appropriately situated...

for such a festive gathering?

Let me check.

Jes... Dude!

Your house has wheels!

Come on...

Should have held onto

that kid when I had him.

[blaring rap music]

Turn that crap down!

Yeah, you better leave!

So, what're you thinking?

I'm thinking... I'm thinking...

that we're gonna make

the biggest gravity bong...

that this world has ever seen.

With all this sh*t?

Oh yeah.

That'll get you high.

Okay, fellas, alright, we

got alcohol, we got music...

we got the world's biggest

gravity f***ing bong...

that I've ever seen, or I wanna

see, to tell you the truth.

But listen, there's just one

more thing missing here.

You see what I mean?

I know, oh yeah... yeah.

Bang them out.

A little pick 'em and stick'em.

You know what I mean now?

Yes, I do.

Hi, huh, is this the

Bornstein Modeling Agency?

Yeah... hi, I was wondering if you had any

girls available for a party this afternoon.

No. Okay.

Well, that makes

perfect sense.

Yes, thank you.

Okay, bye.

So?

They do not

do parties.

They told you to f*** off,

didn't they?

Yes, they did... they did.

Hey Bornstein?

Where the f***

are my models?

Oh, the ones I called

about over a month ago.

For the f***ing

lingerie shoot.

Look, I'm paying for a crew

to sit here and do nothing.

They better be here

in 30 minutes...

or it'll be your arse!

Yeah. 10 Forrest

Lane, Fucko!

Gentlemen, I'm gonna go beat

off before they get here.

Oh my God, I'm so sorry

we're late.

Sorry, we had a hard

time finding your street.

We're so ready to go.

So, where do you want us?

H hideous.

Absolutely hideous.

Oh what, did we make a little pit

stop at the Krispy Kreme on the way?

Oww.

Silence!

Let's do this!

Yes, beautiful.

Yes, yes, do that. Now,

give me a little giggle.

Just a little, yes,

good, good. That is sexy.

Okay, pop it up,

pop it up.

Beautiful. That's it.

What is it?

Hold Bessy.

Hey, Adam's party's

up and running.

Really?

Look.

Douche bag

pulled it off.

Well, let's go.

No. No, it's

gonna suck balls.

Scott, I am not gonna spend

Skip Day in bed with you...

while the rest of our class is

partying over at Adam's house.

What's wrong with being

in bed with me?

- Can you please stop being so pushy?

- Pushy?

I just really wanna do this,

I think we're ready.

Yeah, I know, me too. But, let's do

it over at the party, like we said.

Oh. Party. F***.

Smoke, smoke,

smoke your boat.

Smoke it

down the stream.

Smoke it, smoke it,

smoke some more,

Smokey, smokey.

Oh, I'm so excited!

Oh, a cutie just showed up.

That's no cutie,

that's my sister.

- Why would your sister care?

- Trust me...

there's some bad family history

with Skip Day parties.

Look, we need to hide,

everybody needs to hide,..

we need to get rid of the alcohol,

and you need to get rid of Blanche.

Looks like she might

like a cocktail.

I don't know why

we're doing this.

She'd like a few.

Um, I would say probably

somewhere around, like, $650, 000.

Oh sh*t, I forgot my keys.

There is no fashion

shoot, okay?

He is not

a photographer.

And I'm sure one of you

must have figured out by now,

he's not French,

this mustache is fake.

Let's save this,

save this.

Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

Look, we're holding

my Skip Day party here.

And, the only way we

could get people to come

is if we had pictures

of really hot girls.

Dude, that sounds so gay

when you put it like that.

And now your sister's

coming here...

and you want us to hide

in the closet.

Yeah... that's pretty

much it, yep.

Wow, that's so cute.

I know. I never even

had a Skip Day party.

True, mine did

get busted.

Can we stay

here for yours?

Get in the closet. Get

in, get in, get in, get in.

You gotta get her outta here fast,

people gonna start to come any minute.

Listen to me, you're a guest

in my house, okay?

You do what I say,

stay in the closet!

Alright, I can do that.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- What're you doing home?

- What're you doing home?

- Mom needs to get her For Sale signs.

- Oh, yeah...

- Well, I'm skipping school.

- Cool...

Isn't there supposed

to be a big party today?

- Yes there is.

- You gonna go?

- I'll be there.

- Yeah, bullshit.

Where you going?

- To get the For Sale signs, from the closet.

- They're not there.

- Where are they?

- This is f***ing awesome.

OK, well, I moved them

this morning.

Okay, where'd you put them?

- Upstairs in the guest room.

- You did?

- Yes I did?

- Why?

'Cause I felt like it.

Get out, everyone get out,

get out, get out.

Give me those signs, alright?

Give'm to me.

Alright, wait here.

Yeah.

- F*** off!

- Dude, Dude... need to smoke.

My sister is upstairs right now.

Alright, alright, come on. Go!

- Adam, there's no signs up here.

- Shhh...

Ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh, ouh...

- Adam!

- What?

There's an old

lady in the guest room.

She's my friend.

Who's in the closet?

What?

- Who's in the closet?

- No one's in the closet.

- There's no one in the closet?

- There's no one in the closet.

- That's right.

- Really?

Ahhh...

What's going on?

I'm kind'a... I'm throwing the

Skip Day party at our house.

- What?

- Look, I know, I know it looks bad...

and I know how you and Mom hate

Skip Day parties and all that, but...

I screwed up, and I didn't

have a choice and...

I know it's stupid and it's

irresponsible and everything...

- Shhh...

- And your right...

Look at me,

I am so proud of you.

I mean, you're keeping

up the family tradition.

- I knew you had that f***ing gene in you.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Thank you, that's nice of you

- F***, I wish I could stay.

- Oh...

- Better not do anything I wouldn't do.

- I won't do anything you wouldn't do.

- Maybe you'll get lucky.

- Yeah...

- Bye, baby.

- Bye.

Hey...

What'd you want?

What'd you think I want?

Adam, is it weird that...

there's a motor home

across the street?

That's my house, yo.

Yeah, he lives there.

- Okay.

- Congratulations.

- What?

- You're growing some balls.

That's pretty witty of you,

you wanna go do the bong?

Yes.

Party!

Can you believe this? There's actually

a party in my house, right now.

Yeah, but nobody's dancing.

Well, it'll take just one

person to start it off.

Who?

Dance party!

Yeah.

Oh my God.

It's a Carla sandwich with

a side of Scotty. Scotty.

Dog trainer.

[sobs]

Hey, hey, why

the long face?

Mr. Dickwalter, I'm

sorry, I'm sorry. Please.

Pull yourself together. There may

still be a way out of this for you.

Hey Ralph,

where's the party?

Look at me. Do I look like a guy

that knows where the party's at?

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