Senseless Page #4

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Oh, dog. I'm sorry.

[Car Horns Honking,

Traffic Sounds]

Aah.

- [Panting] Focus, concentrate.

- [Horns Honking]

- Find the control.

- [Tires Screeching Loudly]

[Wings Fluttering Loudly]

[Breathing Deeply]

[Baby Crying At Normal Volume]

Oh, my God.

[Bell Tolling]

Normal.

Super.

Normal.

- Super.

- [Footfalls Amplified]

Damn.

[Making Smooching Noises]

[Glass Clinking]

Stratford University would like to

welcome our five excellent finalists,

their families

and the distinguished executives...

of the Smythe-Bates company

to this very special banquet.

[All Together]

Hear, hear.

[Man #1] You look so sexy

in that bow tie.

[Man #2] Do you want to come

on over after?

- Oh, that'd be great.

I just wanna lick you up and down.

- Shh.

I'm gonna tie you

to the bed post...

and beat the sh*t out of you

with my black leather whip.

Hey, Darryl, you eat this kind

of crap, right?

- Yeah.

- Okay, tell me if it's sweet enough.

Mmm.

Mmm, good. Mmm.

Mmm.

Where you get this from?

This is the best thing I ever tasted.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. God.

Mmm. Delicious!

Wait, wait.

Your button's all messed up!

- You're always looking out for me.

- Ooh.

- Eh, what table you got?

- The dais.

Well, now you got table four and six.

Thank you.

Now I have to toss more salads.

Good evenin', Mr. Tyson and student.

- Economics.

- Darryl Witherspoon. How are you, sir?

- This is Robert Bellweather.

- Hey, Mr. Bellweather. Nice to meet you.

- Pleasure.

- [Mr. Bellweather] Hello, Darryl.

- I will be your server this evening.

- Good.

Yippee.

You're an impressive candidate,

Mr. Thorpe, and I'm curious...

to hear about your opinions

on the current state of the market.

Certainly.

I, uh...

Uh, Darryl, is it... Can you be a buddy

and go fill that with somethin'?

[Whistles]

[Tyson] What's your opinion

of Shamada Technology, Scott?

- Shamada.

- Shamada.

[Scott] Oh, uh, Shamada Tech.

Right. They...

- That's a good question. They're, um...

- Here you are, Mr. Tyson.

An extra salad for you.

Just keep it on the download, okay?

- That's very generous,

but I've got plenty.

- Mr...

Mr. Tyson, please,

it's the least I can do...

for the man who's buyin' up Deauville

Publishin', settin' the trend for LBO's.

I mean, Mr. Tyson, you a genius.

Thank you.

No, Mr. Tyson, thank you.

Do you realize that all these

other companies follow your lead?

Let's take Shamada, for example.

They're gonna drop precipitously

in the fourth quarter.

Well, that's very odd.

We were just talking about that.

Get the... [Grunts]

Out of here!

You know about this?

How?

Mr. Tyson, economics is my life.

Actually, I read in the papers,

there's this Japanese firm

coming out with this new chip.

It's supposed to be twice

as fast and twice as cheap.

And with the debt that Shamada's

carrying from that last buyout,

I don't think

they're gonna make it.

If I was you guys,

I'd sell and sell fast.

- I already have.

- You did?

You see, and that is

why this man is a genius.

- You a genius.

- Hey, uh, waiter,

could I get some wine, please?

- Sure, my little friend.

What would you like?

- Who cares? Just go.

- Night Train it is.

- Uh, Darryl, some butter without salt.

That's a very bright young man.

[Plates Crashing]

Butter.

Butter, butter, butter.

Hey, where'd you guys

hide the butter?

Whoo!

Yes, it's so nice.

It really seems wonderful.

[Darryl] Go ahead.

Name a stock.

Okay, I got one.

Haskell Growth Fund.

Haskell Growth Fund.

341/8.

Am I right? Come on. Am I right?

Come on. Give it up. Give it up.

146 flat, down from a high of 180.

- Ha-ha!

- Ha-ha!

Fielding Industrials.

Fielding Industrials.

Uh, you know, I'm just gonna throw

this one out there.

You know, I'm just gonna...

just throw it out there.

- [Gasps]

- Fifty-five.

- And a half.

- That's it.

Huh? Huh?

The kid is nice, huh?

- How'd you memorize all this?

- It's kind of like your wife's bra size.

If you love it, you'll remember,

huh, tiger? Come on.

Come on, Mr. Tyson.

What's your wife's bra size?

- Thirty-six.

- Thirty-six what?

- C.

- Thirty-six C!

Well, young man, I haven't had

such an informative meal in some time.

- I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.

- How did you fail to qualify

for the final competition?

You know, I've been workin' four jobs

just to pay my tuition,

and, uh, I don't know,

I just blew my final exam.

Why should such a hard worker

be punished?

- You know, I feel

like bending the rules here.

- Too bad there's already five.

[Tyson]

What do you think, Bellweather?

He's certainly qualified

for the competition.

Good. Congratulations, Darryl.

You are now the sixth finalist.

Mr. Tyson, thank you, sir.

Thank you so much.

And thank you, Mr. Bellweather.

Thank you, sir.

I-I promise you,

you will not regret this.

For your sake, I'd better not.

But, uh, Mr. Tyson, uh...

Yes!

F-D-P-L-T-C-L.

Okay, other eye, bottom line.

The Hilsinger Company,

Plainville, Massachusetts,

02762, printed in the U.S.A.

Over in the corner is a fingerprint.

Right there.

It looks like a smudge

of jelly... strawberry.

It's the no-frills brand.

Somethin' real cheap.

Your five senses

are operating at levels...

no human being

has ever experienced.

- We have a lot of tests to do.

- Wait, wait, wait. No, Doc.

We can't do tests today. I'm late.

Just hook me up with my drugs,

and let me be on my way.

Just remember,

follow the regimen exactly.

- Do not exceed the dosage.

- Okay.

Oh, Doc, uh, I wanted to apologize

'cause, you know,

I came down really hard

on you the other day.

It's just that this drug, man, it's

the best thing that ever happened to me.

I mean, I feel like for the first time

in my life, I'm on top of the world.

Darryl, I realize that you feel

very powerful right now.

Just remember, power is a drug

all its own. Be careful.

Okay.

Oh, yeah. And, Doc...

[Grunts] Thank you.

Whoo!

Hey, it's the little engine

that could.

- Hey, what's up, Scott?

- This party's invite only.

No invitee, so good nighty.

Oh, what's the matter, Scott?

You feel that Smythe-Bates job

slippin' through your fingers?

- Huh? [Laughs]

- Dude, your last name

could be Smythe-Bates,

and you still wouldn't get this job,

'cause it's mine.

- Darryl!

- Hey, how you doin', Mr. Bellweather?

How are you?

Mr. Tyson.

- Hey, didn't know you were a Kappa.

- Actually, I'm not.

Darryl's the one that got away.

Now, if you'll excuse us.

Well, I think he's the sort of Kappa man

we should be pledging.

- Absolutely. I agree.

- Well, uh, Darryl's case...

has already been decided,

I'm sorry to say.

Scott, uh, we sit on the board of this

fraternity, and we endow it as well.

I think we've earned

some input, don't you?

- Hear, hear.

- Brothers, listen up!

Brother Bob Bellweather and I

would like you...

to reconsider the pledgeship

of Darryl Witherspoon.

All in favor of Darryl say "aye."

- [All Together] Aye.

- [Tyson] All opposed?

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