Seven and a Half Page #6

---

F***! 23rd...

Breathe, breathe!

Like you're a Yoga master.

Think about the money,

it'll be easier. - Now, you!

Bro, we said we'll change after

three floors, not two.

What about the mezzanine?

- It's not a floor. - What?!

If it was a floor,

it would be called a floor.

Shush!

And why are there stairs?

Hey, hommie! Excuse me,

is mezzanine a floor or not?

It depends. If you walk, it is,

but if you ride the elevator,

it's not... - Ok, good.

C'mon, c'mon!

Think about Yoga.

F***in' cigarettes!

Osmokovic?! What kind of

a family name is that?

I'm sure it's Croatian. - It

can't be! It ends with,, ic".

Pavelic wasn't Serbian.

- To begin with,

Pavelic was Serbian, but he

converted to catholicism.

It's cool. You couldn't

possibly understand.

You are training for something?

C'mon! Look at him!

Man, I'm a thief,

not an athlete!

You forgot something.

Is it hard? - It is.

Isn't there anybody

younger to help you?

No, my boy. - No, huh?

Loneliness is the worst

of all diseases, right?

- Yes, my darlin'.

God bless you, son. - Thanks.

It sucks when you're old.

And poor. - Yeah.

Promise me something. If I grow

old and end up broke,

take something and smash my

head. I don't wanna suffer.

Just another 16... and there

will be a lot of cash, ok?

Yeah, right. I'll see a lot

of cash, but when I die.

This sucks. - What, bro? - Old

woman carryng her groceries.

It's the hood, man. Dirty pigs.

- I know, but the Government

should do something too.

- Yeah, the community!

But you should do something

too. - What, bro? - This, bro.

You do some kind of sports?

- Yes, alpinism.

Do you go all the way

to the top? - Yeah.

I'm excercising for Kilimanjaro.

Could you carry this to the 23rd

floor, man? We're tired.

No problem, give it to me.

- You're a legend! - You'll see.

We're cheering for you!

- It'll be easier now.

Easier, my ass. - C'mon,

we are half way there.

Don't say! We haven't passed

the first half yet!

This is a mission impossible.

- Can you hear this? Come here!

I'm sorry. - Go to Hell!

Why are you torturing him?

- Why not?

What's he doing on the 11 th floor?

- Look! He's a great ant.

You know, if ants were the size

of humans,

they could lift an elephant.

- Can you smell it?

No, really. Somebody's

frying pepers. - Yeah.

I would give everything

for baked peppers now.

C'mon, let's go! -Wait a little.

- Let's go, we're in shape.

Wait! I'm dying. - Why?

- These steps are killing me.

You can get

a heart attack like this.

F*** money if you die, right?

- And what now?

Don't know. Nothing. Go by

yourself. - To go alone?

Yes, you're a bee. - You lazy

sh*t! - You're a real ant.

You're bullshiting.

You're just the same as I am.

My heart is beating strangely.

- Mine too. Seriously.

I was sick in school.

Don't you remember?

Are you elevator technicians?

Do we look like technicians?

- Yes you do. F***in' workers.

Do you want workers to smash

your c*nt, huh?

I can't believe that we look

like dirty workers? - We do.

Sweating here, on the 11 th

floor. Coal miners! I'm a thief!

If I wanted to work hard,

I would go to school,

or get married, or somethin'.

Don't know!

Hey, man! Can you give

us back our bag?

We're not going down!

Lemme tell ya a story. Do you

know who Rockafeller was?

The richest guy in the world.

But he was a bum as a kid,

just like you... and me. F***!

His mom gave him an apple,

and he sold it. - His mom?

- No, man! An apple!

And he got 2 apples. But he

didn't eat them, he sold them

to the classmates, you know.

So he buys a sack of apples.

And then? - Nothing.

His old cousin dropped dead,

leaving him a billion dollars.

Do you get the point?

Yeah, it's all for nothing

if you're not lucky. - No!

Actually, yes. You're right.

If you get lucky,

it's gonna be here. Well,

not here, but... You know!

Thanks, man. - What do you

do for a living?

We grow apples.

Golden delishes, bro!

What a shithead.

- He's a cop. A pig...

You'll have a stroke of luck

here. - How come, here?

Right here, darlin'.

C'mon...

Down, by the cillindre.

Be quiet!

There!

Let's go...

Come here, bro! Look at this!

That's your name.

Sima Vasiljevic, fourth grade.

You're bulshittin'!

It's my notebook!

Look at this. What would you

like to be when you grow up?

I would like to be a pilot.

They're wearing sun glasses,

work with pretty ladies

and have lots of money.

My dad says it's important.

That I should be like Rade,

our neighbor. He smuggles

stuff from Singapore.

She crossed that, you see?

- Smuggler...

Most of all, I want to be rich.

Milica... Christ! She f***ed us

with all the dictations.

Remember? - Yeah.

And with all the counting.

Remember the songs?

I can hear you, Kondic!

I can hear you well!

C'mon! Take a seat.

Is this the time to come

to the class? - Milica...

Teacher! Is it you?

- And what's the reason now?

The alarm didn't go off?

Your bus was late?

They locked you at home. - She

recognized you, man. - Silence!

Kondic... Everybody take a seat!

Hurry, kids!

C'mon, kids! Silence!

Have we learnt the song

for today? Let's sing it!

Hush, hush hear the sweet gentle

sound, bamboo leaves

just rustling now

night is falling down, falling

down

from the starry summer skies

Teacher...

ENVY:

Have you ever f***ed

a stewardess?

What are you doing? - Why?

- It's a pigeon, Musa.

A delicate bird. - It spreads

diseases. All I need is typhus!

It's not a rat, man.

- It's worse than a rat!

This one wants to be your pet,

you feed him and everything,

and a month later your nose

drops off. - I f***ed it.

Who, man? - The stewardess.

- I thought you f***ed the rat.

So? What do you say

about the car?

My poor Mercedes,

look what you've come to.

Bosnian jerk is driving you.

Deimler and Benz are

rolling in their graves.

Did anyone touch it?

- Can I help you?

Did anyone come near to it?

- Not that I know.

Musa, just watch it while

you're here, so help you God.

Me?! Screw you,

you motherfuckin' jerk!

How about 20 kebabs, on the

house! - Yeah, sure, man!

You rule, man!

Musa, bro? What are you

driving? - And you, fuckhead?

What are you driving, jerk?

- I don't wanna fight, man.

We're children from the

capital, and we go on foot.

But look at this!

F***ing Bosnian peasant,

straight from the woods,

yet he drives a Mercedes!

C'mon! Why are you

f***ing with us, man?!

Don't know what's with it!

It didn't turn on till now.

Is it stolen? - What?!

Clean as a whistle!

I've got loads of paperwork.

Stolen, he says... F***!

SERBIAN HERO:

Here are your kebabs.

- This is on me.

My Goga's in labor, so...

- Thanks, Bure! When is she due?

I would say, yesterday.

- Are you expecting a son?

We didn't check.

- Bure didn't wanna know.

As long as it's healthy.

- Do you like the kebabs?

This is excellent. Just...

- What?

Kebabs from Leskovac

are better. - No way! No way!

City of Leskovac has the best

barbecue, I'll admit it.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes