Seven Psychopaths Page #4

Synopsis: A struggling screenwriter (Colin Farrell) inadvertently becomes entangled in the Los Angeles criminal underworld after his friends (Christopher Walken and Sam Rockwell) kidnap a gangster's (Woody Harrelson) beloved Shih Tzu.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Martin McDonagh
Production: CBS Films
  3 wins & 21 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.2
Metacritic:
66
Rotten Tomatoes:
82%
R
Year:
2012
110 min
$15,000,000
Website
4,029 Views


I don't know.

Where's my (1097

You figure it out, dumb-ass.

Goodbye, Mrs. Kieslowski.

Goodbye, Hans.

- We should get out of here.

-I ain't leaving.

I'm gonna wait down there

till that dog-thief motherf***er

comes in screaming.

You looking at something?

No. Nothing at all.

Are you hurt?

A little.

What's that?

A cravat.

It's nice. It's very...

Of a bygone era.

You have it.

No, really.

Please.

I want you to have it.

Have it.

I don't want your cravat, man.

- What's wrong, honey?

-I don't think I can keep it up, Ang.

Nope.

Look at that limp piece of sh*t.

- Jeez, I hate these frigging condoms.

-Then take it off, baby, I trust you.

You trust me?

But you're still screwing that Mafia guy.

God knows what sh*t that prick's given you.

Get the f*** off me, Billy.

I didn't mean AIDS or nothing, honey.

Honey, I meant like chlamydia or something.

Honey, I meant like chlamydia or something.

Three weeks I haven't seen you,

and that's the way you talk to me?

I've been busy, baby.

I've been busy trying to help you out,

if you must know.

What are you talking about?

Well, you know you said

your a**hole boyfriend loves his dog

more than anything in the world, right?

- You haven't?

-I have!

Billy! Billy, you've gotta give it back.

Give it back? I ain't gonna give back sh*t,

let alone my shih tzu.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

-"Give it back." It's kidnapped.

-Oh, my God!

It's a kidnapped dog.

You don't just give back a kidnapped dog.

Defeats the entire object of the kidnapping.

They didn't just give Patty Hearst back,

did they?

No, this dog is my Patty Hearst.

Except I ain't gonna keep it in a closet

and make it rob a bank.

No, I'm gonna hold on to it

until your a**hole boyfriend

starts behaving like a decent human being

and gives me a bunch of money.

The guy's a psychopath, Bi"!!!

Well, did you ever ask yourself

what you're doing

screwing a psychopath in the first place?

Screwing two psychopaths

is what the question is.

What? Who's the second? Who, me?

I'm gonna call him, clear this entire thing up.

No, you ain't either. Sh*t.

- Hello?

-Charlie?

- Hi, Hans. Angela?

-Charlie...

- How are you?

-We were a little worried,

you were late home is all.

Yeah, I know. I just got held up at the library.

Hey, did Myra get her results back?

The results came in. She got the all-clear.

Oh, my God, Hans,

I'm so happy for you.

Well, no, that gangster guy

whose dog we got,

he come down and he killed her.

He what?

I guess he must have found out

the connection somehow.

He came down, he shot her in the head

in the hospital there,

so she's dead now, unfortunately.

I'll be home in 20 minutes.

Charlie, I know, I know we've been

going through some tough times,

but it's all gonna work out fine,

I promise you.

Hi. Can you send an ambulance

to 2618 Mountain Drive?

So don't say I never

do nothing for you. Okay?

Monday the 14th.

Sat watching the shadow of the neighbor's

flagpole across my lawn again

from 7:
00 in the morning

to 7:
00 in the evening.

That's 11 hours.

They've got a right to y a flag, don't they?

Note to self,

do not set fire to the neighbor's flag.

Work out more ways

of being a better friend to people.

Kaya, for instance.

She is the girl Marty loves.

Deep down, she is possibly not a c*nt.

Marty. Do everything to keep his mind

on track about the Seven Psychopaths.

He is the best writer of his generation,

but he needs to stay focused.

But do not bother him anymore

about writing his screenplay with him.

If he wants your help, he will ask for it.

Hey, hey. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Hans!

First thing you gotta do, Charlie,

you gotta pull yourself together.

I gotta pull myself together, I know.

I have no idea where my dog is now.

Right, second thing,

we simply speak to Angela,

see what else she knows about this guy,

where he might have got to.

What if she don't know much more?

All right, then we bide our time,

wait until they get in touch with us.

Bonny ain't gonna be no value to them dead.

Don't say "Bonny" and "dead"

in the same thing, Paulo, please.

I'm finding it hard enough to cope.

You're not pulling yourself together,

are you?

I am, I am.

My dog's gonna end up killed.

There's something else, Charlie.

The guy's got about a hundred packs

of playing cards,

and all the Jacks of Diamonds are gone.

The guy's a f***ing psychopath.

He's so calm.

Man, if I'd just had my wife murdered,

I think I'd be...

- Angry.

-Yeah.

That's Hans, man. He's a proper Christian.

You know, proper old-time Christian.

Not like these Fox News fucks.

I feel bad, man.

I kind of feel like all this was my fault.

I kidnapped the guy's dog and all.

Come on, Billy. How could you have known

it was that psycho's dog'?

Do you wanna help me

write Seven Psychopaths, Billy?

Are you being serious?

I thought I could bounce some ideas

off you, you could tinker with some stuff.

I would love that, Marty.

I would really love that.

I think I'm gonna quit drinking

till the movie's done.

That, right there, is a deal, man.

It's not a deal, no.

I'm just gonna stop drinking for a while.

There's no deal involved.

That, right there, is

not a deal. Equally cool.

But if we go there, we're gonna get lost.

You don't drink, Hans, no?

I take peyote, sometimes.

Billy has some peyote I might take later.

I'm sorry about your wife, Hans.

But I guess she's in Heaven now.

You believe in Heaven?

I'm not sure what I believe, you know.

I put a lot of Heaven and Hell stuff

in my stories, but I'm not sure what I believe.

Why don't you tell me one

of your Heaven and Hell stories, Martin?

Billy said he didn't think you'd like it much.

I like stories.

Okay-

This one is kind of a Heaven and Hell story.

It's more of a Hell story.

It's all about this Quaker psychopath.

Out in the fields, one day,

he comes upon his daughter.

She's been murdered brutally.

...the only ones guaranteed to go to Hell

are those who die by their own hand.

- Stop!

-So he took out a...

- Stop! Stop, stop, stop.

-...cut-throat...

- What?

-Yeah, what?

I just... I don't think that's a very nice story.

I wanna know what happens at the end.

Well...

So...

The killer took out a cut-throat razor

and as he

cut his throat open, he whispered,

"Now are you happy, old man?"

- And the last thing that...

-The killer ever saw...

That the killer ever saw, yes,

was the old man take out a razor of his own,

put it to his throat and...

And slice.

That's a very good story.

Did you make that up all by yourself?

Some of the details aren't exactly right,

of course.

I wouldn't necessarily call myself

a psychopath, you know,

and I didn't go to Hell, obviously.

I don't know if he did. Yet.

Our beautiful daughter was black.

I don't think you mentioned that.

And I was not on my own the whole time,

following him.

You know, you can't do that kind of work

all on your own.

But looking back on what's been wasted...

Rate this script:1.5 / 2 votes

Martin McDonagh

Martin Faranan McDonagh (; born 26 March 1970) is a British-Irish playwright, screenwriter, and director. Born and brought up in London, the son of Irish parents, he holds dual British and Irish citizenship. He is among the most acclaimed living Irish playwrights. A winner of the Academy Award for Best Live Action Short Film, McDonagh has been nominated for three other Academy Awards, and in 2018 won three BAFTA Awards from four nominations and two Golden Globe Awards from three nominations for his film Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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