Sex: How It Works Page #6

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coffee with him and have sexual

relations with him.

KURT:
Excuse me ladies,

how are you this evening?

Am I doing this right?

Am I not doing this right?

How is she feeling about this?

How am I feeling about this?

It's just a whole different

cycle of things going through

my mind.

BECKSTER:
This is how you learn,

but going back and taking

that risk, alright?

KURT:
Huh...

BECKSTER:
The answer is always

'yes' when you want to learn

something.

KURT:
Right.

BECKSTER:
You wanna learn this?

KURT:
... yes.

NARRATOR:
By repeatedly facing

his fear Kurt can reduce his

limbic system's threat response.

KURT:
I only have a few minutes,

I'm in town for a couple hours

I'd like your opinion, which

is more important to you,

to be wanted, or needed?

GIRL:
I mean, I think wanted

is probably the right thing

to say..

KURT:
Ok...

GIRLS:
Hiiiiigh!

KURT:
Maybe I...

you both have very

stylish fashion sense...

GIRL 2:
Thank you darling,

alright let's go..

GIRL 1:
Does that

answer your question?

KURT:
Sure... you have a great

night ladies... thank you.

BECKSTER:
You have

to go back then yeah? Ok?

KURT:
Sorry ladies, I don't

mean to interrupt again,

I just want to let you know,

but I'm going a party

a little bit later on,

I'd like to invite

both of you... if you wish.

GIRL 2:
We have plans, sorry...

GIRL 1:
Where are you going?

KURT:
We're going to

Co-op restaurant and bar,

it's near here.

Um, what I could do is I could

actually text message you,

or somehow?

That way we could get in

contact with each other

a little bit later.

BECKSTER:
He's doing

really well now..

KURT:
I'm actually a

musician as well, so..

GIRL 2:
Oh really?

What do you play?

KURT:
Ah, drums,

bass and I sing.

GIRL1:
Text me later ok? Bye!

KURT:
Definitely, definitely..

Ok! Thank you ladies

have a great night!

BECKSTER:
See?

That's what I'm talking about,

you had the guts to go back

and you got what you want.

KURT:
That went super well.

BECKSTER:
Super well yeah?

KURT:
HA! HA!

BECKSTER:
Awesome.

KURT:
Before yesterday, I

could never do that, now,

when I go home, I won't be as

scared, I'll know what to do,

or know what to say.

I'll have positive... positivity

going through me and knocking

walls down and everything else.

BECKSTER:
Welcome to the club!

KURT:
Thank you

Beckster, thank you!

NARRATOR:
In the sex lab Dr

Linda is exploring another tried

and tested way of getting

over approach anxiety.

DR LINDA:
Now here comes

the funnest part of all

the experiments.

All I need you to do now is do

what you would normally do on

any given evening

in a nightclub.

I want you to mingle I want

you to talk to each other

and I also want to see how

things change once we add

alcohol to the equation.

So if you guys can just

enjoy a glass of wine,

or a beer that would be great.

Well, enjoy each other!

Not like that!

Interestingly as soon as we

mentioned alcohol there was

almost kind of a sigh of

relief It's an environment

that they're used to so they're

feeling a lot more confident;

you can see their

non-verbals now.

We're already starting to

see as well a lot of the more

flirtatious

behaviours happening,

some sort of flicking

of the hair for girls,

you know the boys standing in a

certain way with chests out

kind of making

that prominent and

even in a few cases I've seen

already a lot of that mirroring

that we often find when we like

someone so we want to indicate

that interest in if they touch

their face we touch our face,

if they lean forward we do,

that's a real indicator of them

wanting to connect so it's

fascinating to see what's

happening and how

much more, rather,

how much less

inhibited they are.

How does the consumption of

alcohol affect our behaviour?

DR ALIA ATAYA:
Once you consume

alcohol it has a global effect

across the brain so it results

in lowering your inhibitions.

You're more likely to engage

in certain behaviours that

you wouldn't normally engage in.

DR LINDA:
Does the consumption

of alcohol mean that we'll look

at people more favourably when

it comes to attractiveness,

is there a grain

of truth to this?

DR ALIA ATAYA:
Once

you consume alcohol,

you expect to engage in

more social behaviour,

you expect to be more relaxed.

You expect to meet people

and you start to perceive

individuals as more

attractive and favourable.

NARRATOR:
As we drink one part

of our brain after another

is affected.

First the pre-frontal cortex,

the part that tells us not

to say or do the wrong

things, is suppressed,

making us less

sexually inhibited.

Then the limbic system, our

risk avoidance controller,

is cranked down.

With these areas

smothered by drink,

our sex hormones are

allowed to run riot.

Alcohol can also increase

our levels of sexual desire.

In women, drink can cause

a rise in testosterone,

increasing their

interest in sex.

And studies show it reduces our

ability to spot facial symmetry,

making us a lot less choosy

an effect known as beer goggles.

And the time the boys look at

breasts has risen from fractions

of a second, too

much, much longer.

There's nothing better and

gets me in the mood than just

making out.

I mean, really, one drink

and just start making out,

have a good make-out session,

and I'm ready to pull off

my pants for you.

NARRATOR:
Back in LA lounge

lizard Rob discovers his tactic

of using a wingman to improve

his chances of finding a sexual

partner has backfired.

ROB:
Brian is probably the

biggest ladies' man think

I'll ever meet,

he just slays women.

BRIAN:
Tonight we met a couple

of girls they were with a bunch

of friends actually and all of

the friends left except for one

girl, she decided to stay

behind with me so we are going

to you know, go and play around.

NARRATOR:
Even though his

hormones are driving Rob to find

a partner, in humans it's often

the female who are the choosy

sex, as they invest more in

reproduction and parenting

than males.

And on this occasion it's Brian

who's been chosen, not Rob.

ROB:
Good stuff.

Lady, nice meeting you.

Nice to meet you...

I didn't necessarily

go home with the girl,

but Brian did so

that's good for him,

you know that's a

victory for one of us.

I'm gonna go home all alone by

myself and cry myself to sleep.

Nah, that's not gonna happen.

Tonight was one of those nights

you know sometimes it's not

always about, meeting the

hottest girl and having sex

with them.

You strike out some nights.

NARRATOR:
Rob knows it is only

a matter of time before he has

sex, but for some men having

intercourse can prove to be

an impossibility.

At 22, ice hockey coach Colin

should be at his sexual peak,

yet despite having girlfriends

he's always failed to have

an erection.

COLIN:
I would describe myself

as a very athletic person,

whether it's going to the gym

every day, going for a run,

playing hockey.

All through my youth and teen

years I was never able to have

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