Sex Drive Page #11

-Yeah.

All right, well, come on, take them off.

Let's do it.

Yeah!

Oh, sh*t!

What the f***!

Give me that f***ing shoe...

You know what? F*** you!

I want a divorce.

IAN:
A few weeks later,

I was Felicia's date to Tiffany's wedding.

But this time,

it wasn't a just-friends kind of thing.

And Rex did make my life hell for a while.

But that Thanksgiving,

we finally found out

what's been up his ass all these years.

I'm gay! And, so, that's it.

IAN:
By Christmas,

my dad got used to the idea.

And Rex is actually

a pretty great guy these days.

Yeah, now he only uses the word f*ggot

during rough sex.

Karen and I want you to have this,

for Christmas.

-Merry Christmas.

-Thanks.

A juicer.

Oh, my gosh! That's so awesome.

Wow, I gotta get some fruit.

Wow!

Thank you, thank you.

IAN:
Dylan knocked up Becca

and had to take my old job.

Let's see, what else?

Oh, Andy and Randy finally got a girlfriend.

And on New Year's Eve,

Felicia and I finally visited Grandma.

Again?

Damn, yes.

-Felicia, you want to do this?

-Yes.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, that was awesome!

-Hey, boys. You get some rest?

-Thanks, man. Thanks for fixing the bus.

-A pleasure.

-Yeah, thanks for fixing our bus.

-Appreciate it.

-Thanks for playing that show for us, too.

-Yeah, no worries.

-It was a nice five-song set.

Yeah, what do you guys typically...

I assume you get compensated

very well for that.

-Must be a good living.

-Yeah, we do. I mean...

Yeah, you know, I...

Gosh, if I was really to calculate

what you'd lose if this bus

couldn't have gotten back on the road,

if you couldn't have gotten to your shows,

I imagine all those weeping teenage girls

outside, "I need to dance."

Could we send you some pictures?

We don't really have cash or anything.

-Some autographed photos?

-Or we could give you CDs.

Yeah, we've got a lot of use

for that around here.

There is a lot of work

that needs to be done around here.

-You guys are some strapping young lads.

-I don't know if we're really built for that.

-Yeah.

-I can hear you.

I'm just saying,

you guys put in a 20-minute show,

-we spent all night on the bus...

-Yeah.

I mean, that was a lot of work.

We could maybe try

to write a check later on,

or like I said,

we could send you guys some CDs.

City folk are always trying to solve things

with money.

It's the spirit of the community

around here.

Lord, please bless this Fall Out Boy.

Keep him safe on the road.

Help him to aspire

to the heights of Jon Bon Jovi.

-Help him to...

-Thanks.

-Okay, thanks, man.

-Thanks, man. We gotta roll.

-Amen.

-We gotta roll, man. Thank you very much.

All right, boys.

It was a pleasure meeting you.

I loved your penis on the Internet,

by the way.

-F***ing a**hole!

-You're a dick!

(I DON'T CARE PLAYING)

Say my name and his in the same breath

I dare you to say they taste the same

Let the leaves fall off in the summer

And let December glow feel flames

Brace myself and let go

Start it over again in Mexico

These friends, they don't love you

They just love the hotel suites, now

I don't care what you think

As long as it's about me

The best of us can find happiness

In misery

Said, I don't care what you think

As long as it's about me

The best of us can find happiness

In misery

Oh, take a chance,

let your body get a tolerance

I'm not a chance,

but a heat wave in your pants

Pull a breath like another cigarette

Palms up, I'm trading 'em

Trading 'em

I'm the oracle in my chest

Let the guitar scream like a fascist

Sweat it out, shut your mouth

Free love on the streets

But in the alley and I ain't that cheap, now

I don't care what you think

As long as it's about me

The best of us can find happiness

In misery

Said, I don't care what you think

As long as it's about me

The best of us can find happiness

In misery

Said I don't care just what you think

As long as it's about me

Said I don't care just what you think

As long as it's about me

Said I don't care, I don't care

No, I don't

I don't care, I don't care

I don't care

I don't care what you think

As long as it's about me

The best of us can find happiness

In misery

Said I don't care what you think

As long as it's about me

The best of us can find happiness

In misery

Hi. I'm Amanda Crew, professional actor.

You know in all the teen unrated DVDs,

you never really get to see

the star's naughty parts.

Well, that is gonna change today.

That's right. Take a seat,

maybe close the door

so mom doesn't come in.

Get all ready. Looks good.

Here we go.

Suckers!

This is serious matter.

Run for your life.

MAN 1:
Oh, sh*t! You know what?

We see the fake balls on the table there.

(ALL LAUGHING)

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