Shaandaar Page #8

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means the wedding is off.

If the wedding is off,

the deal is off.

If the deal falls through,

you know what happens?

The lawyer is right.

We can't stop the wedding.

And then...think about Eesha.

What do we do'?

Shall we make a dash for it'?

This is our chance.

The decision is yours.

Whatever you decide, I'm with you.

Look, kiddo...

...you don't have to compromise...

Looking very pretty-

Your father talks a lot of rot.

Didn't we compromise?

And we're still happy.

Girl, marriages work

only on compromises.

One second.

Just because Mummyji is gone doesn't

mean we abandon family tradition.

Right'?

We need the Fundwani funds.

And that Robin big-chest'?

He isn't so bad.

Get those bangles on.

I'll be right back.

You do not have to compromise.

Six...seven...eight.

Eight-and-a-half.

Eight-and-a-half!

What do we do with her'?

We keep her alive.

What'?

Not too dark.

This looks sexy.

The ladies, the gentlemen,

I present to you...

...the flying marital mare!

- Love you, bro!

Ma'am, red wine'?

Or white wine'?

Ma'am'?

Mummyji, he's asking red or white?

Last chance. Last time. You're sure'?

Think about it.

Guys, the family needs this to happen.

And maybe Robin will

change after we get married.

Smile, Mummyji!

Everything under control'?

Mummyji, just because you're

dead doesn't mean you can't smile.

Come on, Mummyji...

One two three...smile...

PP.

How are you, Kamlaji'?

Mummyji what a joke!

Come on, Mummyji, smile!

Hey JJ!

Let me take a photo, me, me.

Now Mummyji will smile.

Really'?

- One...two...three...

- Come on, Mummyji, smile.

"Come my friends and sing for me,

for this night, I am a bride."

"The guests have arrived

and the fire has been lit."

"I am to marry this night."

Oh my God!

Chill, Robin!

Alia, just unhook this'?

Huh?

Help me get this off.

The d u patta'?

Yes.

Are you sure'?

Yes, I'm sure.

Uncle, unhook that please.

- Eesha'?

Eesha, stop it.

- Unbutton me.

The ones at the back too.

Yes.

Please, get me out of this.

What are you doing?

Eesha?

God, I'm so hungry.

Hang on to this, Alia.

Look at me, look at me.

You're marrying me but

you can't even look at me'?

This is howl am.

And I am perfect the way I am.

I'm fat and I like it.

I love it actually and

I'm not even that fat, am I Alia'?

No!

I have lots of people in my

life who love me as I am, right Dad'?

Me.

Me too, Sis.

I love you.

So I'm going to live

my life as I like.

I'll marry someone

I choose or I won't marry.

I'm fat and if I choose I'll stay fat.

Or I'll lose weight.

Got it bro

But as of this moment,

I reject you, Mr. Eight-Packs!

Eight and a half.

What is going on'?

Put this on, Kiddo.

If my daughter doesn't

want to get married...

...no force in the world

is going to get her married.

Just shut up, Bipin.

You shut up too, Geetu.

Excuse me, excuse me please.

Full respect, boss.

Put this on, Daddy-O.

This is an insult.

- And what about Splendiferous'?

- One minute, please.

Eesha, Eesha my girl,

life is like this.

We often have to do

things we don't want to.

Please, Eesha, listen to me.

Eesha, child, please accept.

Why'?

Don't interfere, Vipul.

Why'? Do I not have feelings?

Don't say yes.

Because of all of you,

I've been living a lie.

What happened'?

- What happened, Uncle'?

- I'm... I'm...I'm...

- I'm gay!

- We know.

- You know?

- Yes.

I want to say something too.

Fm Pfeggers.

Preggers'?

Pregnant, Beeps.

The tutor'?

- Ramesh

- Ramesh

- OMG, this is like

so awesome...

- Like totally.

All that work down the drain.

- Excuse me.

Now that everyone's telling

the truth:
I'm illegitimate.

- Alia.

Come on Beeps, let me tell

it like it is. I am Beeps' daughter.

With another woman.

- Wow, Dad!

And by the way,

Sis, I'm older than you.

- Really.

- Yeah.

Yes.

And I'm not even a priest.

- No. I'm not.

I'm a cricket commentator.

Ever since Sidhu has taken

to commentary, I've been out of work.

So I developed this spiel.

How'?

The pitch puts a damper on play, the

weather will hamper the way the boys play.

The Lanka batsmen are on the heavy

side but they show no playing pride.

India bats next, the bowlers

are hexed and the batsmen are vexed.

Swaha...

Enough of this nonsense!

This is no joke. it's business.

This marriage will happen.

Or I shoot to the kill.

Bro, I don't want to

marry as a business deal.

Shut up, Robin.

Mummyji, what is this Mummyji'?

Today no smiling, no talking?

Someone stop him.

Mummyji come on say some-

What'?

Mummyji is dead.

What'?

Whaat'?'?

Whaaat'???

Whaaaat'?'?'?'?

Now that Mummyi is officially dead,

this wedding cannot happen.

We regret to announce

the cancellation...

This wedding will happen,

Mummyji or no Mummyji.

The show must go on.

But The Harry, this man is no priest,

he's a cricket commentator.

How will he marry them'?

- Makes no difference.

Once they've walked around the fire

seven times, they will be married.

Come on Eesha, move it.

Hansa, move. Robin.

Move!

Move, move.

At the feet of Muthaiya,

lies Murlidhar.

Oh Sanghkara, why hit so hard'?

And our little man is a tub of lard.

Your daughter's getting married.

Be happy.

And Sachin is stumped

for a way forward.

What is this'?

Good going, Robin.

I'm going to fire a few shots too.

Before the wedding.

Before the wedding.

Mummy your cannon,

the hope of the nation.

I didn't shoot.

I fired.

No no no, not my bro.

Hands up. No one moves.

- I've always wanted to say that line.

Another one:
we have you surrounded.

- That's just dialogue. Stay focused.

One more.

One more dialogue.

If you value your lives,

throw down your guns!

One more.

What would you know

of the value of marriage?

Superb.

That itty-bitty pistol?

Daddy-O, take it away from them.

No, please don't. This is...this is...

...family possession. This is...this

is... my property, ancestral property,

...my great grandfather

gave me this gun.

This is the crazy,

you are the Harry, I'm the Bipin.

We're all Sindhi and we speak

Sindhi and the world is Sindhi.

We have nothing in common.

- Keep it here.

- Yeah, thanks.

Only Sindhi.

Like the peach!

- Daddy-o, let's get out of here.

Shall we flee'?

Really'?

- Shall we run for it'?

- Let's.

Let's go!

Let's go!

Let's go!

Bro-bro-bruhhh.

One minute, hold on.

Run!

Uncle, come with us.

You go on ahead.

I'll cut them off here. Go.

A he-man

- Thank you brother.

Come on, Beeps

"Until night fell,

the night, the night."

"Then they opened a bottle of liquor"

"The whole thing became a mess."

Harry Fundwani,

I'll just fire on you right now.

No, no, no.

It is rather heavy.

That's why I'm telling you,

darling, give it to me.

There was only one bullet in it.

- Come on chase them

- Bro!

"One more peg, more or less"

"And everything became a mess."

"Just that bottle of liquor made everyone's

heart beat that much quicker."

"The relatives were

hugging each other"

"They were acting just like brothers."

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