Shanghai Kiss Page #4

attack anytime soon,

- I'll know.

- can I use your towel?

- (whispering) yeah yeah.

- AMY:
oh, I find.

- Who is that?

- Uh, television.

Listen, I'm--

I'm so tired.

Can I call you

tomorrow?

- I miss you, bunny.

- Okay.

I'll be back soon.

Get-- get out of

the house, all right?

Go hang out

with Summer or Marissa

Or one of the other girls

on "the O.C."

- Bye, Liam.

- All right, bye, Adi.

Okay, I finish.

What do you want?

Tell me.

You know what?

- I'm really tired.

- Okay.

- Do you want to

go to sleep?

Sleep?

Yeah, I was-- I was

on a flight, you know,

for-- I don't know--

- mm-hmm.

- you know?

- An airplane.

- mmm.

- Do you mind?

- No, I no mind.

Because I like you.

You're a really

beautiful girl.

Thank you.

So, it's okay?

Okay.

All right.

Good night.

Good night.

(beeps)

(quietly sobbing)

(knocking on door)

LING:

hey, Liam?

Let's go!

(knocking)

Wake up,

sleepyhead.

(car honks)

(speaking Chinese)

Mama!

- So this is it, huh?

- Uh, yes.

(door unlocks)

(baby crying)

Your grandmother lived

upstairs for six years.

Your father born here

and grew up all his life.

Be careful.

Lots of history

in this house.

It's a shame

we're selling,

But nobody here

to take care of it.

Wow.

This view is amazing.

Yes,

that's Huangpu River,

The most important

shipping artery

of Shanghai,

Divides the city

into east and west.

Come on,

let me show you.

This was

your father's room.

The whole family

slept here.

This place is great.

I love it.

Yeah.

(doorbell buzzes)

That must be buyers.

(speaking Chinese)

(door buzzing)

- Ah...

- (all speaking Chinese)

- This is Mr. Wu.

- Hi, nice to meet you.

- (woman speaking)

- nice to meet you.

Yeah.

Um, I've never been

to Shanghai before.

So I'm surprised

by how modern it is.

You know?

The architecture.

Very modern.

Okay.

Uh, I like your tie.

Oh.

Oh, look at that.

(chattering)

So Liam, uh...

Mr. Wu say

this place

is so great.

Uh, it's

unbelievably cheap.

Yeah, if you call

$500,000 cheap.

No no no,

it's not $500,000.

It's 500,000 yuan.

How much is that

in dollars?

Mm, maybe--

maybe a little less

than $60,000.

- $60,000?!

- yeah.

No no no no.

I'm not selling this place

for 60,000. That's crazy.

Are you crazy?

This view is worth

more than $60,000.

- Yeah, I know.

- My shoes are worth

more than $60,000.

Tell them no.

Tell them I'm not selling.

That's ridiculous.

Okay.

(speaking Chinese)

(couple arguing)

Liam:

What happened?

I told her.

I can see that.

So, what are you

going to do now?

Hey.

(man speaks Chinese)

- uh, Jin Mao, please.

- Qin Gao?

- Jin Mao.

- Qin Gao?

- Jin Mao.

- Oh!

(man singing)

- Out.

- No, this is not it.

- Jin Gao.

- Jin Mao!

Jin Gao!

Jin Mao!

Mao-- Jin Mao.

It's a hotel.

- hotel?

- yeah.

Oh, Ho Tao!

Nope, not the place.

Ho Tao.

This is nothing.

- Jin Mao.

- (cow moos)

- Tin Gao?

- Jin Mao!

Bin Gao?

Look at my mouth!

Jin Mao!

(muttering

in Chinese)

It's like trying to get

a ride from Dr. Seuss.

Yeah, what?

- Oh.

- Oh! Oh yeah,

Look at that.

(carnival music

playing)

Get out!

What?

Why you stop?

Why you stop?

I'm not getting out.

Jin Jiang!

Jin Mao!

Get out of here!

Jin Mao!

- Jin Jiang!

- Jin Mao!

It's famous!

It's the tallest

building here!

- Jin Jiang.

- You've been driving me

around the city all day!

- What are you,

a f***ing idiot?

You f***-ass!

- You f***-ass!

- F***-ass!

- You fucky!

- You fucky!

You fucky!

Where you going?

Get back here.

Get back here!

You fucky!

You fucky!

You're a fucky!

- Jin Jiang!

- Not Jin Jiang!

Jin Mao.

Jin Mao Mao Mao Mao!

All right--

Jin Jiang Jiang Jiang!

You're gonna kill me.

You're gonna kill me!

You are gonna kill me!

You're gonna kill--

You're gonna kill me!

No no no,

Jin Jiang! Jin Jiang!

I need a drink.

I need a drink.

You're gonna drive me

to drink.

I need a drink.

Like a-- you know,

you take me to a bar?

- Bar?

- Drink.

- Okay, okay.

- Drinking. Yeah.

Yeah, suddenly you know.

- Uh, excuse me?

- Yeah?

You guys know how to

make a chocolate martini?

- What's that?

Chocolate martini?

You know martini?

Yes, of course.

You want a martini?

A chocolate martini.

It's martini,

But you add some chocolate

in it for flavoring.

Okay?

Okay, I do.

A regular martini

with chocolate in it.

- Chocolate martini.

- Uh...

(both speaking Chinese)

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Liam.

Micki.

You speak English?

You speak German?

Why would I speak German?

We're not in Germany.

Why would I speak English?

We're not in England.

Because everybody

speaks English.

If that is true,

then why even ask me

in the first place?

Let me guess...

You're an American

and you think the world

revolves around you.

You probably don't even

speak any other languages

besides English.

That's not true.

I speak Ethiopian.

(speaks mock-Ethiopian)

That means, um,

armchair.

Well, why don't you

speak Chinese?

- Because I'm an American.

- You're not an American.

Your face is Chinese,

your hair is Chinese,

your eyes are Chinese,

your skin is Chinese.

But you probably

don't even know anything

about your culture.

It's a pity you don't

even speak the language.

I know more

than you think.

Your drink.

60.

Yes, I can see you

are very wise.

(clears throat)

- Thanks.

- Thank you.

So what are you that

you're so cultured,

a pilates instructor?

What is that?

Never mind.

Hey, you want to

get out of here?

This conversation's

depressing me.

Eat your drink first.

(laughs)

It's so beautiful.

I never realized how

beautiful Shanghai is.

Most of these

buildings were developed

during the opium wars.

Refresh my memory.

Robert Downey Jr. won

the opium wars, right?

Who's that?

Never mind.

(laughs)

You're so cute.

And so funny!

Yeah, but you don't laugh

at most of my jokes.

You're still funny.

Are all Americans

so funny?

You should know.

You've been there

three years, right?

I use sense of humor

as a defense mechanism

when I'm nervous.

At least that's what

my analyst says.

You're in analysis?

Yeah, ever since

the second grade

when I asked out

Erin McGrath.

She called me a doody-head

and then pulled down

my pants during recess.

(gasps)

That is horrible!

I can't really blame her,

Because I was

quite empirically

a doody-head,

But then I got really

self-conscious about

my penis size.

Uh, I mean,

you know, it was small.

But I was seven,

and I think for

a seven-year-old

that it was--

it was a decent size...

I think.

Are you nervous?

Yeah, a little bit.

Do I intimidate you?

You have no idea.

How was that?

I'd say "let's go

back to my place,"

But I don't know

where it is.

(phone ringing)

Hold on.

Hold on.

- Let me get this.

- Hmm?

I have to get this.

- Hello?

- Adelaide:

I wrote you a poem.

You want to hear it?

Uh, yeah sure.

"I woke up lonely

the day I died,

the sun never sang

to me so bright,

the songs of heaven that

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