Shanghai Knights Page #6

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Go!

Roy?

l got it.

Give me the seal.

Give me the seal!

All right, spread out!

Through there!

Let's go.

The gig's up.

So, what are we gonna do?

Come on, think!

l'm not going

to an English prison.

With my feathery blond hair

and Chon's athletic build,

they'll try to make us

the belle of the ball.

Forget it.

l'm not going back.

Well, at least we'll get

a good view of the fireworks

from Scotland Yard.

-Fireworks?

-Yeah.

At midnight, they're launching

this huge display

from a flotilla of barges

on the Thames.

lt's the official kickoff

to the Queen's Jubilee.

ls the royal family

gonna be there?

They're gonna be viewing

the spectacle from a balcony

overlooking the river.

He's got a machine gun

on the barge.

Yes.

You gents lost your way?

Kid, tell me

you got a way out.

Nice move, kid.

So why did you come back?

Why did you give up the seal?

'Cause l'm a fool.

Guess l'm a fool, too.

Well, put her there, fool.

l never got your name.

Name's Chaplin...

Charlie Chaplin.

-Excuse me.

-Excuse me.

Excuse me, please!

-Excuse me.

-Excuse me.

You warn the royal family.

l'll save Lin.

How on earth are you gonna

do that?

You okay?

l just saved you!

You were late!

What?!

Nelson?

Why are you hiding yourself

back there?

l shouldn't like to impede

your view, Your Highness.

Nonsense.

You arranged all this.

You should have

a front-row view.

l regret that, uh,

respectfully l must decline.

l need to keep a good eye

on proceedings.

Nelson,

you've outdone yourself.

Wait till you see the finale.

Hey!

Hey!

This is hopeless.

We're not gonna get past

the guards.

Well, not with that attitude

we won't.

Come on, Artie.

There's got to be a way.

There's always --

Lin!

Yee-haw! Yeah!

Yee-haw!

Yee-haw!

We got to jump it!

Wu Chow!

Hold it right there,

Rathboner.

l'm guessing

by your hasty retreat

that you're still

lnspector Doyle,

arrest this man.

He's got a gun!

Come on!

-Oh!

-You okay?

What happened?

Rathbone nailed Artie

with a little sissy gun.

l'll look after him.

You two go.

Go!

For Father.

For Father.

For Old Man Wang.

Oh, my lucky playing cards.

Be careful.

Tell Rathbone to be careful.

Roy, let's go.

You're gonna need

a bigger gun!

You see him?

No.

Show your face, Rathbone!

l'm gonna tear this guy apart.

Roy, you go this way.

l'll go that way.

Split up? l don't know

if that's a good idea.

lt's okay.

He's not up here.

Roy, keep going.

Aw, come on, Roy.

Hey, uh, Rathbone...

l was just thinking

of a title for my new book...

"Roy O'Bannon

vs. Little Lord Sissy."

But what about "Roy O'Bannon vs.

The Man Who Would Be Queen"?

No sign of him, Chon.

The coast is clear up here.

Roy! Look out!

Roy!

Oops.

Come on up.

l'll show you

how your father died.

Lord, help me.

Just let me know you're there.

Love me. Hate me.

But let me know

you're up there!

Hey, l can see our hotel

from here.

Come along.

l'm waiting.

Come on, Roy. Okay.

Roy O'Bannon

will not go quietly.

You hear that, England?!

Throw whatever

you want at me --

your terrible weather,

your perverted killers,

your Spotted Dick!

Roy, you're about to die.

You're on the minute hand

of a clock.

My life is flashing

before my eyes.

Wait a minute.

l don't remember her.

One more.

One more.

How disappointing.

One more.

You killed my friend.

You killed my father!

Roy!

l thought you were dead!

Oh!

You think

some tea-drinking psycho

can take out Roy O'Bannon?

Easy there, cowboy.

You got any ideas?

-We jump!

-Jump?!

You mean fall?!

Aim for the flag!

Aw, sh*t.

l got to tell you something.

What?

You're the best sidekick

l could ever ask for.

Thank you, Roy.

l feel the same about you.

On three.

One...

Two...

-Three!

-Three!

Roy. Roy!

Howdy.

ln recognition

of outstanding bravery,

l dub you Sir Chon Wang.

For uncommon valor,

l dub you Sir Roy O'Bannon.

And for steadfast dedication

to justice,

l dub you

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Arise.

Who loves you, baby?

Madam.

Artie, l bet Scotland Yard's

dying to get you back now.

My official

crime-fighting days are over.

The queen has asked me

to accompany the lmperial Seal

back to China.

What a week.

Unbelievable.

She couldn't have picked

a better man, right, Chon?

Yeah.

And the voyage is gonna give me

time to work on my new novel.

lt features a new kind

of detective,

and he's gonna solve crimes

using deductive reasoning.

Give me a name.

What's his name?

Actually, Roy,

l was rather hoping

to call him Sherlock Holmes,

if that's all right with you.

l'd be insulted

if you didn't use it.

-Ta.

-See you, Artie.

That was very nice

of you, Roy.

l would've kept the name

if l thought it was any good.

lt's a horrible name

for a detective --

Sherlock Holmes. Holmes?

Will you stop playing with that?

l'm gonna smash it.

l just want to see it

for a second.

-Just let me see it.

-No, you're gonna break it.

lt's just a rock

with some gibberish on it.

That's Chinese.

"Family is forever, my son.

l'm proud

you cast your own stone."

That's a good message.

l'd like to cast

my own stone, Chon.

-Hi.

-Hi.

l told you -- the house

of O'Bannon will prevail.

Chon, l got a business

proposition for you.

No more zeppelins.

No, no, this is much better

than zeppelins --

a new thing they're starting

out in California

called moving pictures.

Pass.

Hold it. Hold it.

Hear me out.

l really think these movies

could play to your strength.

There's no sound,

so we don't have to worry

about the language problem.

And l think the kung fu stuff

could be huge.

People are dying

for a good action picture.

What do you think?

Chon Wang, movie star?

lt could work.

l feel bad about ditching

that Chaplin kid,

but we're gonna be running

and gunning in Hollywood,

and he'd just cramp our style.

lt's such a tough town.

Bloody tourists!

Action!

You have to say "cut."

You just keep looking!

Come here, you little minx.

Cut.

That was good.

That was a good one, huh?

Maybe on this one

l should lick you...you think?

Like, after you lick me --

that could be kind of good.

And, Jackie...

Jackie?

Thank you. Hi, Owen.

Hello. How are you?

Okay, and l'm not

Roy O'Bannon.

Who are you?

Damn it, Chon,

l think she's the one.

l know it's crazy.

We just met, but she's the one.

No, Roy,

she's my babysitter.

Your babys--

What?

Baby what?

Baby sister.

Baby sister?

Not babysitter.

Baby sister.

You okay?

Action!

What happened?

Roy is the type of a friend

you never introduce

to your other friends

or bring into your family.

He's -- Look at his eyes.

They're brown -- full of sh*t.

Always...

Just bullshit all the time.

Yeah, have you ever heard

of those?

They're parents.

We have parents that love us.

You don't,

'cause you're a little orphan.

You don't --

We've got par-- Yeah, parents.

Have you ever heard of those?

We've got parents that love us.

But you don't,

'cause you're a little orphan.

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