Shaun Of The Dead Page #7

leaping through the sky like a tiger

# Defying the laws of gravity

# I'm a racing car passing by

like Lady Godiva

# I'm gonna go, go, go

# There's no stopping me

# I'm burning through the sky...

- I can't find the switches!

- Then get the fuses!

# That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit

# I'm travelling at the speed of light

# I wanna make

a supersonic man out of you

# Don't stop me now

# I'm having such a good time

# I'm having a ball

# Don't stop me now

# If you wanna have a good time

# Just give me a call

# Don't stop me now

cos I'm having a good time

# Don't stop me now

# Yes I'm having a good time

I don't wanna stop at all

- # I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars...

- Why is Queen still on?

- We have a situation!

- I know!

- F*** this. Two seconds.

- Ed!

Oi!

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, explode

# I'm burning through the sky, yeah...

Shaun!

#... call me Mister Fahrenheit...

No!

Yes! Yes! In the head!

Ooow!

Shauny!

# Don't stop me

Ooh, ooh, ooh

# Don't stop me, don't stop me

good time, good time

# Don't stop me... #

Why didn't you just shoot him, man?

Ed, for the last time, it's...

I f***in' knew it!

What did I tell you? Big Al was right.

OK.

But dogs can look up.

- Has anyone fired a gun before?

- Oh, yeah.

- Apart from Ed?

- I'm a pacifist.

- Apart from David and Ed?

- What was Ed's experience?

- He shot his sister in the leg.

- I think you should do it.

- We should all do it.

- How can five people operate one gun?

- No one has any experience. We've got...

- 29.

- 29 bullets.

- Call them shells.

to help me reload,

everyone else to look out. I will fire.

As Bertrand Russell said the only thing

that will redeem mankind is co-operation.

I think we can all appreciate that now.

- Was that on a beer mat?

- Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold.

- I won't say anything.

- Thanks.

- They want to come in.

- Get Mum out of the way.

David, Dianne, let's go.

Ed, give me some shells.

- Barbara.

- Oh, hello.

- Would you like to come with me?

- That'd be lovely.

It's nice to meet you, finally.

Shaun's always talking about you.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Ah!

- Barbara?

Are you all right?

I've got something for you.

Shaun's father gave me this.

Shaun's real father, I mean.

- I'd like you to have it.

- Barbara, Shaun and I have...

It seems only right.

I didn't want to say anything.

I thought Shaun would be worried.

Liz!

Here they come!

- Stay behind me!

- There's one!

Sorry, we're closed!

- The safety!

- That happened to me on stage.

Cock it!

- There!

- Where?

Three o'clock!

- Oh! Over there again. Quarter to twelve.

- What?

- 11:
45!

- Keep it simple!

Top left!

- Reload.

- I'm on it!

Come on, come on.

Nice shot.

OK, David, Dianne,

let's block up this window!

Ed, take over a sec.

- What is it? What's wrong?

- Shaun, I'm so sorry.

- Mum, what's wrong?

- I didn't want to be a bother.

- Mum, what's wrong?

- I didn't want to be a bother.

- Mum, I don't understand.

- The man in his pyjamas.

I didn't want to say anything,

I thought you'd be upset.

No, you should've said.

- Take over a sec.

- What's going on?

- What's up?

- What the hell's going on?

- Barbara's hurt!

- Just take over a minute.

Jesus.

I know first aid.

Just hang on. Mum!

- Mum.

- Is she...?

Just hold on, Mum, you're gonna be fine.

- I never thanked you.

- For what?

For these. "To a wonderful mum."

It's been a funny sort of day, hasn't it?

Oh, no, no! Mum, come on.

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Mum. Please don't go.

- What are you doing?

- We have to deal with her.

- Daffs!

- For Christ's sake!

- She's gonna come back!

- She's not going anywhere.

- She'll change.

- She's my mum!

- She's a zombie.

- Don't say that.

Move aside. I'm gonna count to three.

One...

two...

three!

- Don't point that gun at my mum!

- Calm down.

Don't point that gun at Barbara!

- Ed, don't exacerbate things!

- What's that mean?

- This isn't exactly fair.

- Here.

- Thank you.

- It's OK.

Please, can we just stop

and think about this?

Tell him to put the gun down!

She's gonna change. You know I'm right.

And when she does, she'll kill all of us.

That's what your ex can't seem to realise.

That's what this is about, isn't it?

He doesn't like me!

He's always hated me

and now he wants to shoot my mum.

- She's not...

- You've never thought I was good enough.

- What?

- We all know you're in love with Liz.

- That is not true.

- Yes it is!

- That is not true.

- Yes it is.

- What?

- I know you only hung out with me

to get close to Liz and when she knocked

you back, I was there to pick up the pieces.

I've come to terms with that, Daffs,

why can't you?

Lizzie, I want you to know

that my feelings for you...

David! There are slightly more

pressing matters at hand here.

- Like "Daffs" pointing a gun at my mum.

- I'm not being unreasonable, "Pickle".

- Christ, she's not dead!

- She's finished.

For a hero, you're quite a hypocrite.

You've gone from

a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston.

I'm not a chartered accountant.

- Well, you look like one.

- Yeah.

- I'm a lecturer.

- You're a twat.

She's not your mum.

In a minute she'll be just another zombie.

- Don't say that.

- We're not using the Z word.

Please can we just calm the f*** down!

Now, I can see what David is trying to say...

- Thank you.

- Even if he is being a twat.

Yep.

And, Shaun... Shaun, look at me.

I can't begin to imagine

how hard this must be for you

but we can't afford to fall apart.

Shaun, babe...

I know you don't wanna hear this...

You do it.

I'm sorry, Mum.

Do it!

Well... I think we're all agreed,

you did the right thing there.

David, no!

David!

- Right, I'm leaving.

- What?

- I'm not staying here.

- David, it's suicide.

- I think you should go.

- We will. We can defend ourselves.

- What do you mean "we"?

- What do you mean?

Opening that door now

would be a very silly thing to do.

- You gonna stay here with him?

- Look...

- After where he led us?

- Let me finish!

Shaun didn't ask you to come here.

You came for the same reason I did.

- Get away from that door this instant!

- But...

David!

I'm so sorry, Dianne.

Maybe I'm not the one

you should be apologising to.

Shaun...

David! No!

No! No! No!

David!

- No! No!

- David!

David!

Dianne, no!

I'm coming, David!

David!

Oh dear.

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