Shock Treatment Page #2

you've made a wise decision.

- But-But I-

- Janet?

- I'm not going.

- What do you mean, you're not going?

You'll ruin the show.

Bert's made all the arrangements.

But I don't need treatment.

But you do need glasses, eh, stupid?

Doesn't he?

I am sick of being humiliated by you!

Bert's right. You're going.

It looks like Brad and Janet Majors

have a big decision to make.

Here's some more prizes

to amaze here on Marriage Maze.

Dear blender

- You won't blend into the background...

Won't you help

a first offender

Oh, toaster

- Pop up in the popularity ratings...

Don't you put

the burn on me

- Just look at this.

Refrigerator

Why are we always

sooner or later

Bitchin' in the kitchen

or crying in the bedroom all night

Living on a knife edge?

Dear knife drawer

- Stay sharp with this keen knife.

Now won't you help me

to face life more

Oh, trash can

- You can-can with the trash can.

Don't you put

the dirt on me

Oh, percolator

Why are we always sooner or later

- No toil, no trouble.

Bitchin' in the kitchen

or crying in the bedroom all night

Everything used to be okay

But I've been had

And, Brad I'm glad to say

Is on his way

Micro-digital awaker

Why are we always

sooner or later

Bitchin' in the kitchen

or crying in the bedroom all night

Shower curtain

- Wash those blues away...

Won't you help me

to be certain

Oh, toothpaste

- Arm yourself to the teeth...

Don't you put

the squeeze on me

Depilatator

Why are we always

sooner or later

Bitchin' in the kitchen

or crying in the bedroom all night

Now it's back to Marriage Maze. And for

those of you who are Dentonvale watchers...

here's our surprise guest.

- And here's Bert!

- Hey, folks! It's Ricky from the Rest Home.

- Hey, Bert.

- Hey, Ricky.

I've come for Mr. Majors.

Brad will learn how to care

in the surgical chair.

- Nothing serious, I hope?

- Oh, no. Just a routine checkup.

Just a routine checkup,

eh, viewers?

Come in.

Tell me, spectator

Why are we always

sooner or later

Bitchin' in the kitchen

or crying in the bedroom all night

Well, Bert's done it again.

Another rocky marriage

is headed for intensive care.

The subject is committed.

As are we all.

Dentonvale.

The Arrival.

Introducing Brad and Janet Majors.

Mr. And Mrs. Majors.

How wonderful to see you.

I'm Doctor Cosmo McKinley...

and this is my sister

and colleague...

Dr. Nation McKinley.

We understand you've been

going through a rather trying time.

Well, yes, we have.

Now listen. There's-

There's nothing really wrong with me.

Janet and I haven't

been getting along too well lately...

and I've had a little-

a little trouble...

- Oh, Brad.

- Ooh.

- Does he do this often?

- No, he's never done this before.

Good. Then there's still hope.

Lots and lots of hope.

If anyone can help Brad, we can.

- Well, he does need help.

- Nurse Ansalong, you've arrived.

- Oh, that was real short notice because the other models-

- Attend to Mr. Majors, Nurse.

There are just one or two formalities

that have to be dealt with, Mrs. Majors.

A contract to be signed.

Oh, could I do that

later, please?

Of course you can, Mrs. Majors.

Sign the contract tomorrow.

Ouch! Mrs. Majors.

Just one or two details.

Does Brad have any living relatives-

any blood relatives?

- No, he doesn't. Could I take care of this later?

- Of course.

Why did you tell me

not to sign now?

Well, that way you

get the first day free.

Here's Bert, that eternal showbiz wiz...

with a family connection

in the 30-Second Quiz.

As Janet's parents,

this should be really easy.

About Brad's family?

Your last clue is...

mental instability.

You have 30 seconds.

Mental instability?

- He was adopted, you know.

- Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten.

Well, I hadn't. I was worried about

inherited craziness when they married.

I said toJanet,

"What do we know of his parents?"

- Which leads us to-

This afternoon's surprise prize, Bert...

which is a delirious stay in

that evergreen series Happy Homes...

- with unlimited use of a new dream kitchen.

- Infantile regression?

- You got it!

- I got it!

- She got it! She got it!

- I got it!

I got it!

She got it!

Congratulations. Congratulations.

And it's Happy Homes...

to Harry and Emily Weiss

of Denton.

I got it! I got it!

She got it! She got it!

In one. Infantile regression.

Our speciality!

- Your speciality.

- I can't wait to begin on him.

Really, Bert, I don't know what

we'd do without you.

I must confess...

the decision to have Brad committed

was not strictly my own.

No, of course. There's Janet.

But if she was

so keen on getting him in here...

why wouldn't she sign

the contract?

No, it wasn'tJanet exactly.

- It was, in fact, your new sponsor.

- Sponsor?

- Dentonvale has been sold.

- Sold?

Dear old Bert's

settled everything.

Ja, you endorse

his Faith Factory...

- and he endorses your research.

- He?

How dare this person take

advantage of my weakness!

I don't think he intends

to go that far.

If only you knew

How to win some prizes

If only you knew

How to play

If you could sleep nights

And stop your crying

Then you might find out

I still love you

In my own way

If that's not enough

then I'm

So sorry I met you

It was almost like

Leading you on

But there's more to it all

Than just wringing your heart out

over something

That keeps on going wrong

So don't tell me

you love me

How am I supposed to know

what that means

No, don't sell emotion

You can't buy devotion

If you're falling apart

at the seams

I hope that

you'll smile when you

Reach your conclusion

I hope that you'll know

just what to say

But if it should mean

That the party is over

You should know

that I still love you

You should know that

I still love you

You should know

that I still love you

In my own way

In my own way

In my own way

In my own way

- Oh, my poor baby.

- Oh, Mom, it's Brad.

I know. I know, baby.

He's gonna get all the help he needs.

- But in the meantime, look. For you.

- What is it?

They call it a new look

at an old favorite.

I copied it from

The Window on the World show.

- The Far East meets the Midwest.

- Mom...

It's just what

the doctor ordered, I know.

- Come on in. My favorite show's just started.

- What show?

Dentonvale.

Love starts in the home...

and where better to

find this than in today's Happy Homes.

With guest star, Janet Majors.

If you're sick of having the goodness

boiled away out of your coffee...

replace that old perk of yours with

a coffeemaker of prestigious distinction.

And be the envy of all

with a coffeemaker that says it all.

Oh, thanks.

When that man of yours comes in from

the big outdoors with a burning thirst...

that only Lake Michigan

could satisfy...

make sure there's a cold can

of Krautmeister Light in the icebox.

He'll thank you for it.

And he'll thank Krautmeister.

For crying out loud, Emily.

Leave her alone. She's not a kid.

- Well, I wanted to see her in it.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote