Short Circuit Page #6

on the news.

Yeah, I'm a real

big celebrity.

You know there's

a reward out for that robot?

Twenty-five thousand dollars.

No, I don't know

anything about it.

Why don't you get off

my property?

- Steph...

- Leave me alone.

- Where is it?

- It's not here.

- Get out or I'll call the cops.

- Stephanie, breakfast.

Pancakes, hash browns.

Twenty five thousand dollars.

Don't worry, we'll split it.

Twenty for me and five for you.

Listen, you gotta talk

computer to him.

Tell him exactly what

you're doing...

exactly where you're going, or

he's not going to move an inch.

Number Five, this is Frank.

How, Robot.

Me friend.

No, talk computer,

not Apache.

Fresh O.J.?

Not from concentrate.

Thanks.

Listen, what do you say

we jump in my car...

we'll take a ride.

I'll take you home.

Tell him where home is.

Home is Nova.

Nova! No!

No disassemble!

Number Five, run!

Come on, treads,

don't fail me now.

- Run, get away now!

- Get off me!

You tricked me,

you little b*tch!

Does this mean I don't

get my five thousand dollars?

Forget it! Forget it!

He can go thirty miles an hour,

you big stupid jerk.

I'll show you, how

stupid I am.

- Guess who's going to help me catch it.

- No, I'd rather die first!

Where the hell is my car?

Hi.

Piece of cake.

Oh, my God!

My car!

- Oh, way to go, Number Five.

- Uh-oh!

Oh, my God, no!

Number Five, look out!

"Say Pilgrim, that like to

parted my hair."

"If you wanna play rough,

I can sure oblige ya."

How can he do that?

"Frankie...

you broke the unwritten law.

You ratted on your friends.

And when you do that, Frankie...

your enemies don't respect you...

you got no friends no more.

You got nobody Frankie."

Pretty good, huh?

Unbelievable.

Look out!

How about that,

a goddamn robot?

Stephanie, get off me!

Stephanie, that's it.

No!

Not disassemble Stephanie.

No!

I'm calling Nova, and I'm

calling the cops.

And as for you, you

little pain-in-the-neck...

you better not come crawling

back to me, because now it's over!

Good.

Okay, come on.

They're gonna be after you.

We gotta get out here, now.

So now I am having no job

to speak about.

I will have to smack

the sidewalk.

I'm not going to let it happen.

You're not going to get fired...

I'm not going to get fired...

because we're going to find

Number Five intact.

Very good.

That's right, Howard.

- It's Scrotum?

- Schoreder.

Same thing.

Now all roads are blocked

her only chance is

a back road into the hills.

We'll concentrate our search there.

Where the hell are we?

"New York City".

No, I don't think so.

Try the other side.

Ok.

Oh. Texaco.

Great.

Well, I'm lost.

I don't know where to go.

- Strategy.

- What about it?

Need some, quick.

Right, what we need is somebody

to make those bozos listen.

- Not bozos.

- What?

One bozo.

Newton Crosby, PhD.

Hey, malfunction, he's the enemy.

He can't help.

Couldn't hurt.

You know, I know why Number

Five took a liking to her.

If it did have that capability,

which it doesn't, but if it did.

I mean, I think she's pretty,

don't you think?

I am thinking she's a virgin.

Or at least she used to be.

Hello Crosby.

I think it's Howard.

I know you're listening,

so pick up the mike.

This is Crosby.

How's your back, Howard?

Just hunky-dory, thanks.

I just swore out some warrants

for your arrest.

Good golly.

But because I'm a nice guy, I'm

going to give you one last chance.

I got a phone call from that loony

in the lunch wagon.

She wants to see you.

- Only you.

- She does?

Oh! Her pants are blazing for

you Newton Crosby.

Will you grow up. I'll be there,

Howard, on one condition.

No Schroeder.

Is it a deal?

It's a deal.

- Where does she want to meet?

- The Black Lion Inn.

Good luck, sir.

Hi.

He's hidden far away.

He's scared of you guys,

you know.

Do I get him or not?

First we talk... inside.

My ex-boyfriend used to

bring me here.

- Hi. How you doin'?

- Fine, good to see you.

- Yeah, ex. So what?

- Ah, nothing.

Okay, here's the deal.

Number Five is alive.

I mean, he is really alive,

like you and me, you see?

I understand. They can seem

quite life-like...

but they're still machines.

Just like your stereo...

or your vacuum cleaner.

No, I know he's a machine.

You're a machine, I'm a

machine. We're alive.

How it happens, who the hell

knows. But it has happened.

Okay.

Believe me, I'm not against the

idea that happen, but you see...

I built the machine from scratch.

And alive, alive...

it doesn't compute.

I know. It's not your everyday

event. But somehow, it's true.

As Guerrero steps to the plate.

The pitch...

and it's a long line drive

to deep left center.

Hyde is going back for it!

He's...

Robot alert!

Number Five located.

Engage in capture,

do not destroy.

Have you thought about

what you're doing?

Trying to hide something

like this?

If you want to help Number Five,

let me have it back.

It's malfunctioning.

It needs to be repaired.

Life is not a malfunction.

Number Five axis four twenty-nine.

Stay where you are.

- Strike three.

- Number Five, stay where you are.

Number one,

you're out of there.

Number Five, stay

where you are.

Oh, my gosh.

Tools.

Hammer! Axe!

Rope!

Three quarter inch double-braid.

Perfecto!

"Escaped Robot Fights for

His Life. Film at Eleven."

Target in sight. Fire!

Capture and hold.

Elevation sixteen degrees.

Visibility five feet,

two feet, no feet.

Hey, laser lips! Your mama

was a snowblower.

That wraps you up,

you rascally robot.

Target located. Elevation

sixteen degrees. Fire!

Holy moley!

- Elevation 22 degrees.

- Dumbo!

Axis lost. Seventeen...

Temper, temper!

Three degrees. Fire!

Oley!

Don't fire.

Don't light a match.

Well, when you gotta go

don't squeeze the charming.

Oh, no.

Nova!

Let me tell you something.

I don't like these Nova guys

anymore than you do.

In fact, I don't care if they

ever get Number Five back...

but I want to see it.

If I show where he is,

do I have your word...

you will not experiment on him?

You will not flip his switches?

And you will not take him apart?

Absolutely.

You have my word.

He's out back.

I'll take you to him.

If you are ready, young lady,

you can take me, too.

Schroeder!

Terrific job, Crosby.

Thanks for the help.

- No, I had nothing...

- You bastard!

- I'm not...

- You're liar.

No I didn't know...

Stephanie, a trap!

Nova! Depart!

Look out!

Here's your table sir.

- You little bastard!

- Paco, please. No autographs, sir.

Come Stephanie.

We be German.

Bastard!

Stop!

- Stop!

- Go, go, go, go!

Great idea. Newton Crosby,

Ph. Dork.

- What are you doing?

- Keep driving.

- Step on it!

- Okay, hold on.

I have had it!

I have had it!

- This was a precision operation.

- Schroeder, you set me up!

Crosby, I'm telling you

right now...

this little fart of a robot is

beginning to give me red ass.

Where the hell

are those other robots?

They should have cut

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