Shortbus Page #3

It's one of the last places where people are still willing to bend over

to let in the new.

And the old.

New Yorkers are... permeable.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

You sure are?

Therefore we're sane.

Consequently, we're the target of the impermeable.

And the insane.

And of course, New York is where everyone comes to be forgiven.

What have you done wrong?

Tell me, how have you sinned?

I'm sure it's nothing serious.

How would you know?

Well, I'm-- I'm sure you did your best.

Imagine if you grew up here like I did.

Home can be very unforgiving.

It's true.

People said I didn't do enough

to help prevent the AIDS crisis

because I was in the closet.

That's not true.

I did the best I could.

I was--

I was scared

and--

impermeable.

Everybody knew so little then.

I know even less now.

Chip?

No, I'm OK.

Who's that?

If he's wearing a blue shirt, it's me.

It's you.

I made that for him.

Oh yeah?

That's Jamie there on the back.

Oh my God.

Shut up, that's so cute!

How old are you guys?

Seven.

Six.

Somewhere around there.

I think I'm actually gonna go.

What? No!

Yeah.

No, it's OK. It's cool.

Are you sure?

No.

Yeah.

Hang out for a while.

OK.

Come on.

How do I be a model?

A lot of it's instinct, to be honest.

But there are some basics.

The way I like to think about it, it's like geometry.

Like lines and angles.

I like that.

That's perfect. That's like an ad right there.

See, you got it.

Whatever, I hate it. It totally sucks.

James?

Yeah?

Can you actually use your other hand?

'Cause I usually command it from a different angle.

Sure.

How's that?

That's fine.

That feels really good.

What?

Huh?

Just say something.

- What are you talking...

Make more sounds.

"I'm an albino!"

"I'm an albino!"

"I'm an albino!"

"O say, can you see"

"by the dawns early li-i-i-i-i-ight"

"O say, does that

star-spangled banner yet wave"

"Oer the land of the free-e-e-e-eee"

"and the home of the b-rave?"

Is that the first time somebody sang the National Anthem in your ass?

No.

OK, rotate.

Carpet burn.

Jamie, can I watch you f*** him?

I want you.

You. You. You.

That's it.

F***...

F***!

Rob!

What?

It's too loud!

No, it's not.

It is!

It's not!

It is!

It's not too loud!

I can't concentrate!

I'm looking for a job, OK?

What kind of a job, a hand job?

For Christ's sake, turn the f***ing music off!

And look at this place.

I just got the f***ing cleaners in here yesterday!

These are my dried cranberries--

And you bought everything in this house!

F*** - you!

We agreed to come from a place of love.

I feel your warm and loving hands.

And I feel worried that you think I'm ugly.

Because why else would you be doing that on the computer.

I'm squeezing your perfectly round shoulders,

following to your clavicle and your collarbone,

so you know that you're incredibly attractive.

I think you're incredibly sexy.

And I'm just distracting myself.

I feel the sleeves of your T-shirt.

They're dry against my clammy hands.

Your skin is perfect

like I could never get this on a computer.

'Cause I'm just-- blocked.

Totally. We're both blocked, and--

Oh god, that feels good.

Really?

Sh*t, I'm so crunchy up there.

How about you unblock these beautiful breasts?

Your pertinent nipples.

"Pertinent"?

Very relevant.

Aw! Jeez!

I am not a cow!

I know you're not a cow, baby--

It felt that way.

It felt like I was a cow.

You wanna know why?

- That's what you felt.

- Yes. I own that.

Can we try it again?

I'm feeling your strong biceps.

They're so tender and smooth.

Oh god, when you flex them,

they're just like breasts.

I feel the delicate wisps of your receding hairline...

I'm not balding.

Yes you are, honey. You are.

And I love your balding, virile head.

I feel really small.

That's because we are small.

We're so very small.

No!

I'm saying that I feel small.

I feel like I can't take up enough space.

I feel like my cock isn't big enough for you.

This is your issue, and you have to own it.

Because I am not a size queen,

and I don't care about...

I can't bring home any money.

I feel like I'm not contributing.

I love the fact that you deliver Meals on Wheels.

You volunteer. It's beautiful.

Why would you...

Bullshit. I can't even give you an orgasm.

Yes, you... many times you have.

Bullshit!

I think we can get over this.

We can work this through. We've been through a lot of stuff together.

I can't give you an orgasm!

Hello?

Hi. Is this Severin?

Yeah.

Hey. It's Sophia.

So, do you like to jerk off?

Of course I do.

What are you doing with the cigarette in here?

Please, put that out!

This is a non-smoking environment.

That's totally absurd.

We're completely surrounded by water.

It's like a dream smoking environment.

You're gonna kill us in here.

That feels good.

Thank you.

What about your husband, has he ever tried to get you off?

This is not about Rob?

He's not an a**hole, he's a great guy.

If it wasn't for Rob, I'd still be a bank teller.

He totally changed my life around.

He's my best friend.

Why is it so important for you to have an orgasm anyway?

I mean, it feels good, but it's not gonna save your life.

I wanna be welcomed into the secret society of women.

I was never a brownie.

I haven't had an orgasm.

God, I want to be able to save my marriage.

What does it have to do with your marriage?

It has a lot to do with--

- I think it has nothing to do with the other person.

Like, I can only come if it's my own hand.

It has everything to do, because

you need two people to make love.

No you don't.

Have you even had a relationship?

So were you like, abused as a child?

No.

Were you?

No!

I come from a very traditional Chinese Canadian family.

I love Chinese Canadian food, but what does that have to do with it?

Chinese families are very strict.

My mom was a disciplinarian,

and my father... was...

my father was a great guy.

Did he touch you?

- No.

No, he didn't touch me.

He didn't touch anyone, ever.

Oh I see. Like, "My father wasn't there,

I can't feel anything between the legs."

You are so far behind you think you're first.

God, he was alway there for me.

It's just-- he was always there for me, that was the problem.

He was always watching me.

He was always watching me.

Watching you how?

You want me to say he raped me without touching me?

Well, did he?

Did he?

You don't know what the f*** you're talking about.

I'm sorry.

Domination, black and white-- it's not as simple.

Relationships are more complex than that?

Are you saying that I can't understand your relationship with your father who "watched you",

because I'm a dominatrix?

Well, yes!

That's really funny, because you're a sex therapist

and you can't have an orgasm.

You should be in...

Where are you going?

I am not one of your clients who pays to be dominated!

Sophia, this is like the best conversation I've had over years.

Let go of my arm!

I won't grab you.

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