Shotgun Wedding Page #10
- UNRATED
- Year:
- 2013
- 92 min
- 801 Views
Everyone just--
[ Stammers ]
stay calm
for just a moment.
Now, we are not
calling the police.
Do you have any idea
how much this wedding cost?
- Flip--
- I am up
for reelection...
in November, for God's sake.
What do you think
it will look like...
if they discover
a mass murder under my nose?
That prick Beaumont
will bury me in scandal.
Don't any of you people
ever think about anyone
other than yourself?
- Daddy!
- I am going to call the sheriff
on his private line.
He owes me a favor--
a big one.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to make
this problem go away.
We are all gonna go out there
and have a beautiful wedding.
Now, my boys will
collect the bodies...
and make it look like
it was a...
gas explosion
or something.
You are a judge.
You can't just
cover up a crime.
Of course I can,
honey.
It's like the time
your Uncle Frank
killed that prostitute.
Uncle Frank never killed
a... prostitute.
[ Gasps ]
Oh, my God.
That's right.
It was that retarded gentleman
that we executed for it.
Nice fella.
Um, all right.
- Oh, my God.
- All right, now look.
- The only way
this is gonna work--
- You okay?
is if all of us never talk
about anything that happened
this weekend ever again.
This has to go to your graves,
or I'll put you there myself.
No, no, no.
All right.
Now,
is everyone ready
to take a vow of silence?
- [ Guests Affirming ]
- I am! Absolutely!
I am!
You betcha.
Yep. Yep.
- Yeah.
- Always.
I love you, honey.
[ Milton ]
All right, knock 'em dead.
I'm gonna throw up
on my dress.
That's okay.
That's appropriate.
Wait a minute.
These goddamn cameras
getting all of this?
Pretend
we're not here!
- Give me those tapes.
- Well, we record
onto hard drives.
- And we're gonna edit
all this sh*t out anyway.
- Bullshit.
- Why are the cameras
still rolling then, huh?
- Well, the--
Grab him, Ted!
Go on! Come on. Hurt him.
[ Woman ]
Get him!
[ Ted ] I'm trying.
Robert, grow a dick, will ya?
Help out.
- Go get him.
- Come on! Get him!
- No, no, no, no!
- Get him! Get him!
- [ All Shouting, Chattering ]
- Excuse me, sir.
- [ Grunting ]
- [ Yelling ]
[ Yelling ]
There's not gonna be
any wedding!
[ Marvin Panting ]
I came back
to run some mash-up ideas
by you, Rosemary.
I heard everything.
I heard everything!
We are calling the cops
like men of honor!
I'm shocked at you, Uncle Flip.
Marvin, you know
better than any of us...
sometimes killing
is necessary.
In war!
Or, like, if an English dude
is here to break up a wedding.
But covering up mass murder?
You killed Declan. Don't you
want to cover this up too?
Declan's dead?
Yeah. Sorry.
[ Sobbing ]
No!
- I was following orders!
- I--
That's not a legal defense!
And I never said
you should shoot him.
You nodded.
Don't deny it.
I can't believe you lied to me.
I thought you were my captain.
Marvin, now, trust
your Uncle Flip.
Give me that phone.
- Come on!
Come on, now! Come on!
- No!
- I won't do it!
- [ Screaming ]
I am placing you all
under a citizen's arrest...
by power of
the United States Marine Corps!
[ Inhaling, Exhaling ]
You know what the worst part
about this is?
Now no one is gonna get to hear
my Awesome-sauce deejay set.
The beats
were so crunchy!
- So crunchy!
- [ Sobbing ]
Stop crying!
so crunchy!
Marvin,
I was at your baptism,
for God's sake.
Come on now.
- [ Guests Yelling ]
- [ Gasping ]
- He's a big one!
- Pull!
- Pull!
- [ Gunshots ]
- [ Woman Screaming ]
- [ Choking, Coughing ]
- [ Gunshots ]
- [ Milton ] Down, everybody!
Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God.
- Go on! Get out!
Get out!
Reload! Reload!
He's out of bullets!
Just keep hanging on!
No, he's got more bullets.
Oh, no! No! No reloading!
[ Gunshot ]
No!
Marvin, stop!
[ Woman Screams ]
- [ Gunshots Continue ]
- [ Marvin Groaning ]
[ Yvette Groans ]
- [ Gunshot ]
- [ Gasps ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Groaning ]
Awesome-sauce.
- [ Knocking ]
- Hey, is everything
okay in there?
[ Milton ]
We're fine. Fine.
I-I can't see.
[ Milton ]
All of us. Aren't we?
Okay, everybody.
We're putting on
a big show here. Okay?
Game face.
Remember your vows.
Honey, get started.
Cameraman,
you gonna film this?
That's what
I'm here to do.
Good.
Well, we'll talk later
about all that other stuff.
I suppose
you're gonna want a bonus.
Sit with me
out there.
Oh, of course, sweetie.
I am the maid of honor!
[ Giggles ]
I'm so happy right now.
Rosemary and I together,
we're like a fairy tale.
Thank you.
Let's do this.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
You still have a little
cocktail sauce on your shirt.
No, don't. That's blood.
Gross.
Oh.
Hey, I think I thought
of the perfect vow.
As long as we live,
for richer or poorer,
in sickness and health,
I will never let anything
like this happen ever again.
You do?
I do.
I do too.
[ Giggles ]
Okay?
See you out there.
Mm-hmm.
[ Sighs ]
Sweetheart?
[ Chuckles ]
Things got
a little messy, huh?
Sometimes
to have a good life,
you have to do
bad things.
Do you understand?
Smart girl.
I'm proud of you.
You ready for
the biggest adventure
of your life?
Okay.
Come with me
And you'll see
where you belong
[ Continues ]
[ Steve ]
You must have something to say
about your wedding.
Robert, are you okay?
Robert.
Robert.
Robert!
Hey!
What are you doing,
husband?
I-- I-- I just wanted
to say a little something
for the video.
Uh, really?
[ Milton ]
We are all very excited...
to have finally tied the knot
with Robert's family.
[ Yvette ]
We are one family now.
We know how
to get things done.
[ Milton ]
Today's adventure...
creates a bond not only
between Rosemary and Robert,
but... between all of us
here today.
[ Yvette ]
Good sex, bad sex.
Any marriage
will have both of them.
The key to a good marriage
is trust.
The real key...
is love for your children.
[ Steve ]
Any thoughts for
the future?
And when Robert
and Rosemary,
God willing,
give us
some grandchildren--
[ Whispering ]
[ Steve ]
What did she say?
We're done with cameras
for now.
I know for a fact...
they will do
whatever they need to do
to give them a good life.
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
I was under the ground
When you
turned it around--
When you
turned it around--
[ News Theme ]
Unpleasant news today
from Pleasant Valley.
Six bodies were found
mutilated and burned.
They were discovered
near where the victims
had been abducted...
from a wedding taking place
at a well-known family's
vacation home.
The father of the bride:
four-term state judge
Philip "Flip" Milton,
who escaped unharmed.
Here's what he
had to say.
- Judge! Judge!
- My family and I are
deeply, deeply saddened...
by the death
of our dear friends.
I am suspending all
political campaign activity
effective immediately,
although I remain
in the race.
But now is not
the time for politics.
That's all for now.
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"Shotgun Wedding" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 20 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shotgun_wedding_18055>.
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