Shrek 2 Page #2

Will park the car.

So

you still think

this was a good idea?

Of course! Look.

Mom and dad look happy to see us.

- Who on earth are they?

- Think that is our little girl.

That is not little!

That is a really big problem.

Was not she supposed to kiss

prince charming and break the spell?

Well he is no prince charming

but they do look.

Happy now?

We came. We saw them.

Now let us go before

they light the torches.

- They are my parents.

- Hello? They locked you in a tower.

That was for my own.

Good! Here's our chance. Let us go

back inside and pretend we are not home.

Harold we have to be.

Quick! While they are not looking

we can make a run for it.

Shrek stop it!

Everything gonna be.

A disaster! There is no way.

- You can do this.

- Really.

- Really

- do not want to be.

Here!

Mom. Dad.

Had like you to meet my husband.

Shrek.

Well um.

lt is easy to see where fiona

gets her good looks from.

- Excuse me.

Better out than in

always say eh fiona?

That is good.

Guess not.

What do you mean not on the list?

Do not tell me you do not know who am.

What do you mean not on the list?

Do not tell me you do not know who am.

What is happening everybody?

Thanks for waiting.

- Had the hardest time finding this place.

- No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!

No dad! lt is all right.

lt is all right. He is with us.

- He helped rescue me from the dragon.

- That is me the noble steed.

Waiter!

How bout a bowl for the steed?

Oh, boy.

- Um shrek?

- Yeah?

Oh sorry!

Great soup mistress q.

Mmm!

No no. Darling.

Oh!

So fiona tell us

about where you live.

Well.

Shrek owns his own land.

- Do not you honey?

- Oh yes!

lt is in an enchanted forest

abundant in squirrels

and cute little duckies and.

What?

Know you aint

talking about the swamp.

An ogre from a swamp.

Oh! How original.

Suppose that would be a fine place

to raise the children.

lt is a bit early to be

thinking about that is not it?

- lndeed. Just started eating.

- Harold!

- What is that supposed to mean?

- Dad. lt is great okay?

- For his type yes.

- My type?

Got to go to the bathroom.

- Dinner is served!

- Never mind. Can hold it.

Bon appetit!

Oh mexican food!

My favorite.

Let us not sit here with our tummies

rumbling. Everybody dig in.

Do not mind if do lillian.

Suppose any grandchildren

could expect from you would be.

Ogres yes!

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Right harold?

Oh no! No! Of course not!

That is assuming you do not

eat your own young!

Dad!

No we usually prefer the ones

who have been locked away in a tower!

- Shrek please!

- Only did that because love her.

Aye day care

or dragon guarded castle.

You would not understand.

You are not her father!

lt is so nice to have the family

together for dinner.

- Harold!

- Shrek!

- Fiona!

- Fiona!

- Mom!

- Harold.

Donkey!

Your fallen tears have called to me

So here comes my sweet remedy

Know what every princess needs

For her to live life happily.

Oh my dear.

Oh look at you.

You are all grown up.

- Who are you?

- Oh sweet pea!

Am your fairy godmother.

- Have a fairy godmother?

- Shush shush.

Now do not worry.

Am here to make it all better.

With just a.

Wave of my magic wand

Your troubles will soon be gone

With a flick of the wrist and just a flash

You will land a prince with a ton of cash

A high priced dress

made by mice no less

Some crystal glass pumps

And no more stress

Your worries will vanish

your soul will cleanse

Confide in your very own

furniture friends

We will help you set a new fashion trend

- Will make you fancy will make you great

- The kind of girl a prince would date!

They will write your name

on the bathroom wall.

For a happy ever after

give fiona a call!

A sporty carriage to ride in style,

Sexy man boy chauffeur kyle

Banish your blemishes tooth decay

Cellulite thighs will fade away

And oh what the hey!

Have a bichon fris!

Nip and tuck here and there

to land that prince with the perfect hair

Lipstick liners shadows blush

To get that prince with the sexy tush

Lucky day hunk buffet

You and your prince take a roll in the hay

You can spoon on the moon

With the prince to the tune

Do not be drab you will be fab

Your prince will have rock hard abs

Cheese souffle valentine day

Have some chicken fricassee!

Nip and tuck here and there

To land that prince with the perfect hair

Stop!

Look.

Thank you very much

fairy godmother

but really do not need all this.

- Fine. Be that way.

- We did not like you anyway.

- Fiona? Fiona?

Oh! You got a puppy?

All got in my room was shampoo.

Oh uh.

Fairy godmother furniture.

Had like you to meet my husband shrek.

Your husband? What? What did you say?

When did this happen?

Shrek is the one who rescued me.

- But that cannot be right.

- Oh great more relatives!

She is just trying to help.

Good! She can help us pack.

Get your coat dear. We are leaving.

- What?

- Do not want to leave.

When did you decide this?

- Shortly after arriving.

- Look am sorry.

No that is all right.

Need to go anyway.

But remember dear.

lf you should ever need me

happiness

is just a teardrop away.

Thanks but we have got all

the happiness we need.

Happy happy happy.

So see.

Let us go kyle.

- Very nice shrek.

- What?

Told you coming here was a bad idea.

You could have at least tried

to get along with my father.

Do not think was going to get

daddy blessing

even if did want it.

Do you think it might be nice

if somebody asked me what wanted?

Sure. Do you want me

to pack for you?

You are unbelievable!

You are behaving like a.

- Go on! Say it!

- Like an ogre!

Here is a news flash for you!

Whether your parents like it or not.

Am an ogre!

And guess what princess?

That is not about to change.

Have made changes for you shrek.

Think about that.

That is real smooth shrek.

Am an ogre!

Knew this would happen.

You should.

You started it.

Can hardly believe that lillian.

He is the ogre. Not me.

Think harold you are taking this

a little too personally.

This is fiona choice.

But she was supposed to choose

the prince we picked for her.

Mean you expect me to give

my blessings to this thing?

Fiona does.

And she will never forgive you if you do not.

Do not want to lose

our daughter again harold.

Oh you act as if love

is totally predictable.

Do not you remember when

we were young?

We used to walk

down by the lily pond and.

- they were in bloom.

- Our first kiss.

lt is not the same!

Do not think you realize that

our daughter has married a monster!

Oh stop being such a drama king.

Fine! Pretend there is nothing wrong!

La di da di da!

ls not it all wonderful!

Had like to know

how it could get any worse!

- Hello harold.

- What happened?

- Nothing dear!

Just the old crusade wound

playing up a bit!

Will just stretch it

out here for a while.

You better get in.

We need to talk.

Actually fairy godmother

off to bed.

Already taken my pills

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