Shrek 2 Page #3

and they tend to make me a bit drowsy.

So how about we make this

a quick visit. What?

Oh hello.

Ha ha ha!

So what is new?

You remember my son

prince charming?

ls that you? My gosh!

lt is been years.

When did you get back?

Oh about five minutes ago actually.

After endured blistering winds

scorching desert.

Climbed to the highest room

in the tallest tower.

Mommy can handle this.

He endures blistering winds

and scorching desert!

He climbs to the highest bloody room

of the tallest bloody tower.

And what does he find?

Some gender confused wolf

telling him that his princess

is already married.

lt was not my fault.

He did not get there in time.

Stop the car!

Harold.

You force me to do something

really do not want to do.

Where are we?

Hi. Welcome to friar fat boy!

May take your order?

My diet is ruined!

Hope you are happy. Er okay.

Two renaissance wraps

no mayo chili rings.

- Will have the medieval meal.

- One medieval meal and harold.

- Curly fries?

- No thank you.

- Sourdough soft taco then?

- No really am fine.

Your order fairy godmother.

This comes with the medieval meal.

There you are dear.

We made a deal harold and assume

you do not want me to go back on my part.

lndeed not.

So fiona and charming will be together.

- Yes.

- Believe me harold. lt is what is best.

Not only for your daughter

but for your kingdom.

What am supposed to do about it?

Use your imagination.

Oh.

Come on in your majesty.

Like my town

With a little drop of poison

Nobody knows.

Excuse me.

Do know you?

No you must be mistaking me

for someone else.

Uh excuse me.

Am looking for the ugly stepsister.

Ah! There you are. Right.

You see need to have

someone taken care of.

- Who is the guy?

- Well he is not a guy per se.

Um He is an ogre.

Hey buddy let me clue you in.

There is only one fellow who can handle

a job like that and frankly

he do not like to be disturbed.

he do not like to be disturbed.

Where could find him?

Hello?

Who dares enter my room?

Sorry! Hope am not interrupting but

am told you are the one to talk to

about an ogre problem?

You are told correct.

But for this charge

a great deal of money.

Would this be enough?

You have engaged my valuable

services your majesty.

Just tell me where

can find this ogre.

Everyone says

am getting down too low

Everyone says

you have just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

Need some sleep

Time to put the old horse down

Am in too deep

And the wheels keep spinning round

Everyone says

you have just gotta let it go

Everyone says

you have just gotta let it go

Dear knight pray that you take

this favor as a token of my gratitude.

Dear diary.

Sleeping beauty is having

a slumber party tomorrow

but dad says cannot go.

He never lets me out after sunset.

Dad says am going away for a while.

Must be like some finishing school.

Mom says that when am old enough

my prince charming will rescue me

from my tower

and bring me back to my family

and we will all live

happily ever after.

Mistress fiona charming.

Mistress fiona charming.

Mistress fiona charming.

Mistress fiona charming.

Sorry. Hope am not

interrupting anything.

No no. Was just reading a uh

a scary book.

Was hoping you had let me apologize

for my despicable behavior earlier.

- Okay.

- Do not know what came over me.

Do you suppose we could pretend

it never happened and start over.

- Look your majesty just.

- Please. Call me dad.

Dad. We both acted like ogres.

Maybe we just need some time

to get to know each other.

Excellent idea! Was actually hoping

you might join me for a morning hunt.

A little father son time?

Know it would mean

the world to fiona.

Shall we say

Face it donkey!

We are lost.

We cannot be lost. We followed

the king instructions exactly.

Head to the

darkest part of the woods.

Past the sinister trees

with scary looking branches.

- The bush shaped like shirley bassey!

- We passed that three times already!

You were the one who said

not to stop for directions.

Oh great. My one chance

to fix things up with fiona dad

and end up lost

in the woods with you!

Do not get huffy!

Am only trying to help.

Know! Know.

- Am sorry, all right?

- Hey do not worry about it.

Just really need to make

things work with this guy.

Yeah, sure. Now let us go

bond with daddy.

Well well well donkey.

Know it was kind of a tender

moment back there but the purring?

What? Aint purring.

Sure. What is next? A hug?

Hey shrek. Donkeys do not purr.

What do you think am some kind of a.

Ha ha!

Fear me if you dare!

Look! A little cat.

- Look out shrek! He got a piece!

- lt is a cat donkey.

Come here

little kitty kitty.

Come on little kitty. Come here.

Oh! Come here little kitty.

- Whoa!

- Hold on shrek! Am coming!

- Come on! Get it off! Get it off!

Oh god. Oh.

No!

- Look out shrek! Hold still!

- Get it off!

Shrek! Hold still!

- Did miss?

- No. You got them.

Now ye ogre pray for mercy from.

Puss in boots!

Will kill that cat!

Ah ha ha!

Hairball.

- Oh! That is nasty!

What should we do with him?

Take the sword and neuter him.

Give him the bob barker treatment.

Oh no! Por favor!

Please!

Implore you!

lt was nothing personal senor.

Was doing it only for my family.

My mother she is sick.

And my father lives off the garbage!

The king offered me much in gold

and have a litter of brothers.

Whoa whoa whoa!

Fiona father paid you to do this?

The rich king? Si.

Well so much for dad royal blessing.

Do not feel bad. Almost everybody

that meets you wants to kill you.

Gee thanks.

Maybe fiona would have been better off

if were some sort of prince charming.

That is what the king said.

Oh uh sorry. Thought that question

was directed at me.

Shrek fiona knows

you had do anything for her.

Well it is not like

Would not change if could.

Just just wish

could make her happy.

Hold the phone.

Happiness.

A tear drop away.

Donkey! Think of the saddest thing

that is ever happened to you!

Aw man where do begin?

First there was the time that old farmer

tried to sell me for some magic beans.

Then this fool had a party and he have

the guests trying to pin the tail on me.

Then they got drunk and start beating me

with a stick going pinata!

What is a pinata anyway?

No donkey! Need you to cry!

Do not go projecting on me.

Know you are feeling bad

but you got to.

Aaaahhh!

You little hairy

litter licking sack of.

What? Is it on? Is it on?

This is fairy godmother.

Am either away

from my desk or with a client.

But if you come by the office we will be

glad to make you an appointment.

Have a happy ever after.

Oh.

Are you up for a little quest donkey?

That is more like it! Shrek and donkey

on another whirlwind adventure!

Aint no stoppin us now! Whoo!

We are on the move!

- Stop ogre! Have misjudged you.

- Join the club. We have got jackets.

On my honor am obliged to accompany

you until have saved your life

as you have spared me mine.

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