Shrek 2 Page #4

The position of annoying talking animal

has already been taken.

Let us go shrek. Shrek?

- Shrek!

- Aw come on donkey. Look at him

in his wee little boots.

You know how many cats can wear boots?

Honestly.

- Let us keep him!

- Say what?

Ahh!

Listen. He is purring!

- Oh so now it is cute.

- Come on donkey. Lighten up.

Lighten up? Should lighten up?

Look who is telling who to lighten up!

Lighten up? Should lighten up?

Look who is telling who to lighten up!

Shrek!

Shrek?

They are both festive are not they?

What do you think harold?

Um. Yes yes.

Fine. Fine.

Try to at least pretend you are interested

in your daughter wedding ball.

Honestly lillian

do not think it matters.

How do we know there will

even be a ball?

Mom. Dad.

- Oh hello dear.

- What is that cedric? Right! Coming.

Mom have you seen shrek?

Have not.

You should ask your father.

Be sure and use small words dear.

He is a little slow this morning.

- Can help you your majesty?

- Ah yes! Um.

Mmm! Exquisite.

What do you call this dish?

That would be the dog breakfast

your majesty.

Ah yes. Very good then.

Carry on cedric.

- Dad? Dad have you seen shrek?

- No have not dear.

Am sure he just went off to look for

a nice mud hole to cool down in.

You know after your

little spat last night.

Oh. You heard that huh?

The whole kingdom heard you.

Mean after all

it is in his nature to be

well a bit of a brute.

Him? You know you did not exactly

roll out the welcome wagon.

Well what did you expect?

Look at what he is done to you.

Shrek loves me for who am.

Would think you had be happy for me.

Darling am just thinking about

what's best for you.

Maybe you should do the same.

No really?

Shh.

Oh.

Oh no. That is the old keebler place.

Let us back away slowly.

That is the fairy godmother cottage.

She is the largest producer of hexes

and potions in the whole kingdom.

Then why do not we pop in there

for a spell? Ha ha! Spell!

He makes me laugh.

Hi. Am here to see the.

The fairy godmother.

Am sorry. She is not in.

Jerome!

Coffee and a monte cristo. Now!

Yes fairy godmother.

Right away.

Look she is not seeing

any clients today okay?

That is okay buddy.

We are from the union.

The union?

We represent the workers in all magical

industries, both evil and benign.

Oh! Oh right.

Are you feeling at all

degraded or oppressed?

Uh a little.

We do not even have dental.

They do not even have dental.

Okay we will just have

a look around.

Oh. By the way.

Think it had be better if the fairy godmother

did not know we were here.

- Know what am saying? Huh?

- Huh? Huh? Huh?

- Stop it.

- Of course. Go right in.

A drop of desire.

Naughty!

A pinch of passion.

And just a hint of

lust!

Excuse me.

Sorry to barge in like this.

What in grimm name

are you doing here?

Well it seems

that fiona not exactly happy.

Oh ho ho!

And there is some question

as to why that is?

Well let us explore that shall we?

Ah. P p p.

Princess. Cinderella.

Here we are.

Lived happily ever after. Oh.

No ogres!

Let us see. Snow white.

A handsome prince.

Oh no ogres.

Sleeping beauty. Oh no ogres!

Hansel and gretel? No!

Thumbelina? No.

The golden bird

the little mermaid pretty woman.

No no no no no!

You see, ogres do not

live happily ever after.

All right look lady!

Do not you point

those dirty green sausages at me!

Your monte cristo and coffee.

Oh! Sorry.

Ah that is okay.

We were just leaving.

Very sorry to have wasted your time

miss godmother.

Just go.

Come on guys.

Tgif eh buddy?

Working hard or hardly working,

eh mac?

Get your fine corinthian footwear

and your cat cheeks out of my face!

Man that stinks!

You do not exactly smell like

a basket of roses.

- Well one of these has got to help.

- Was just concocting this very plan!

Already our minds are becoming one.

Whoa, whoa. lf we need an expert on

licking ourselves, we will give you a call.

Shrek this is a bad idea.

Look. Make yourself useful

and go keep watch.

Puss do you think you

could get to those on top?

No problema boss.

ln one of my nine lives

was the great cat burglar

of santiago de compostela.

Ha ha ha ha!

Shrek are you off your nut?

Donkey keep watch.

Keep watch?

Yeah will keep watch.

Will watch that wicked witch come and

whammy a world of hurt up your backside.

Will laugh too.

Will be giggling to myself.

- What do you see?

- Toad stool softener?

Am sure a nice bm is the perfect solution

for marital problems.

- Elfa seltzer?

- Uh uh.

- Hex lax?

- No! Try handsome.

Sorry. No handsome.

Hey! How about happily ever after?

Well what does it do?

lt says beauty divine.

ln some cultures donkeys are revered

as the wisest of creatures.

Especially us talking ones.

Donkey!

That will have to do.

We have got company.

Can we get on with this?

Hurry!

Nice catch donkey!

Finally! A good use for your mouth.

Come on!

You spurn my natural emotions

You make me feel like dirt

and am hurt

And if start a commotion

Run the risk of losing you

and that is worse

Ever fallen in love with someone

ever fallen in love

In love with someone

ever fallen in love

In love with someone

you should not have fallen in love with

Ever fallen in love with someone

ever fallen in love

In love with someone

ever fallen in love

With someone

you should not have fallen in love with

Fallen in love with

Ever fallen in love with someone

you should not have fallen in love with

Do not care whose fault it is.

Just get this place cleaned up!

And somebody bring me something

deep fried and smothered in chocolate!

- Mother!

- Charming. Sweetheart.

This is not a good time pumpkin.

Mama working.

Whoa what happened here?

- The ogre, that's what!

- What? Where is he mom?

Shall rend his head

from his shoulders!

Will smite him where he stands!

He will rue the very day he stole

my kingdom from me!

Oh put it away junior!

You are still going to be king.

We will just have to come up

with something smarter.

Pardon. Um.

Everything is accounted for

fairy godmother except for one potion.

What?

Oh.

Do believe we can make

this work to our advantage.

Happily ever after potion.

Maximum strength.

For you and your true love.

lf one of you drinks this

you both will be fine.

Happiness comfort

and beauty divine.

- You both will be fine?

- Guess it means it will affect fiona too.

Hey man this do not feel right.

My donkey senses are tingling all over.

Drop that jug voodoo

and let us get out of here.

lt says beauty divine.

How bad can it be?

See you are allergic to that stuff.

You will have a reaction.

And if you think that will be smearing

vapor rub over your chest think again!

Boss just in case there is something

wrong with the potion

allow me to take the first sip.

lt would be an honor to lay my life

on the line for you.

Oh no no. Do not think so.

lf there will be any animal testing

will do it.

That is the best friend job.

Now give me that bottle.

Rate this script:4.7 / 55 votes