Shrek 2 Page #5

''Happiness, comfort

and beauty divine.''

- You both will be fine?

- l guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too.

Hey, man, this don't feel right.

My donkey senses are tingling all over.

Drop that jug o' voodoo

and let's get out of here.

lt says, ''Beauty Divine.''

How bad can it be?

See, you're allergic to that stuff.

You'll have a reaction.

And if you think that l'll be smearing

Vapor Rub over your chest, think again!

Boss, just in case there is something

wrong with the potion...

allow me to take the first sip.

lt would be an honor to lay my life

on the line for you.

Oh, no, no. l don't think so.

lf there'll be any animal testing,

l'll do it.

That's the best friend's job.

Now give me that bottle.

How do you feel?

l don't feel any different.

l look any different?

You still look like an ass to me.

Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys.

- Well, here's to us, Fiona.

- Shrek?

- You drink that, there's no going back.

- l know.

- No more wallowing in the mud?

- l know.

- No more itchy butt crack?

- l know!

- But you love being an ogre!

- l know!

But l love Fiona more.

Shrek, no! Wait!

Got to be... l think you grabbed

the ''Farty Ever After'' potion.

Maybe it's a dud.

Or maybe Fiona and l

were never meant to be.

Or maybe Fiona and l

were never meant to be.

Uh-oh. What did l tell you?

l feel something coming on.

l don't want to die.

l don't want to die. l don't want to die!

Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy.

l'm melting!

l'm melting!

lt's just the rain, Donkey.

Oh.

Don't worry. Things seem bad

because it's dark and rainy

and Fiona's father hired

a sleazy hitman to whack you.

lt'll be better in the morning.

You'll see...

The sun'll come out...

Tomorrow

Bet your bottom...

Bet my bottom?

l'm coming, Elizabeth!

Donkey?

Are you all right?

- Hey, boss. Let's shave him.

- D-Donkey?

There you are!

We missed you at dinner.

What is it, darling?

Dad...

l've been thinking

about what you said.

And l'm going to set things right.

Ah! Excellent!

That's my girl.

lt was a mistake to bring Shrek here.

l'm going to go out and find him.

And then we'll go back

to the swamp where we belong.

Fiona, please!

Let's not be rash, darling.

You can't go anywhere right now.

Fiona!

Look, l told you he was here.

Look at him! Quiet. Look at him.

Good morning, sleepyhead.

Good morning!

We love your kitty!

Oh... My head...

- Here, l fetched a pail of water.

Thanks.

Uhh!

Aahh!

Oh...

A cute button nose?

Thick, wavy locks?

Taut, round buttocks?

l'm... l'm...

- Gorgeous!

- l'll say.

l'm Jill. What's your name?

- Um... Shrek.

- Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe?

- You're tense.

- l want to rub his shoulders.

- l got it covered.

- l don't have anything to rub.

Get in line.

Get in line.

- Have you seen my donkey?

- Who are you calling donkey?

- Donkey? You're a...

- A stallion, baby!

l can whinny.

l can count.

Look at me, Shrek!

l'm trotting!

That's some quality potion.

What's in that stuff?

''Oh, don't take the potion,

Mr. Boss, it's very bad.''

Pah!

''Warning:
Side effects may include

burning, itching, oozing, weeping.

''Not intended for heart patients

or those with... nervous disorders.''

l'm trotting, l'm trotting in place! Yeah!

What?

Senor? ''To make the effects

of this potion permanent,

''the drinker must obtain his

true love's kiss by midnight.''

Midnight?

Why is it always midnight?

- Pick me! l'll be your true love!

- l'll be your true love.

l'll be true... enough.

Look, ladies, l already have a true love.

Oh...

And take it from me, Boss.

You are going to have

one satisfied Princess.

And let's face it.

You are a lot easier on the eyes.

lnside you're the same

old mean, salty...

- Easy.

- ...cantankerous, foul,

angry ogre you always been.

And you're still the same

annoying donkey.

- Yeah.

Well...

Look out, Princess.

Here comes the new me.

First things first.

- We need to get you out of those clothes.

- Ready?

- Ready!

- Driver, stop!

Oh, God! Help me, please!

My racing days are over!

l'm blind! Tell the truth.

Will l ever play the violin again?

You poor creature!

ls there anything

l can do for you?

Well, l guess there is one thing.

Take off the powdered wig

and step away from your drawers.

- Not bad.

- Not bad at all.

Father?

ls everything all right, Father?

Thank you, gentlemen!

Someday, l will repay you.

Unless, of course,

l can't find you or if l forget.

Oh, yeah

Turn and face the strange

Ch-Ch-Changes

Don't wanna be a richer one

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-Ch-Changes

Just gonna have to be

a different man

Time may change me

But I can't trace time

Halt!

Tell Princess Fiona her husband,

Sir Shrek, is here to see her.

Still don't know what

I was looking for

And my time was running wild,

a million dead-end streets

Every time I thought

I'd got it made

It seemed the taste

was not so sweet

- Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Turn and face the strange

- Shrek?

- Ch-Ch-Changes

Don't wanna be a richer one

Time may change me

But I can't trace time

Fiona?

Hello, handsome.

Shrek!

- Princess!

- Donkey?

Wow! That potion

worked on you, too?

What potion?

Shrek and l took some magic potion.

And well...

Now, we're sexy!

Shrek?

For you, baby... l could be.

- Yeah, you wish.

- Donkey, where is Shrek?

He went inside looking for you.

Shrek?

Fiona! Fiona!

You want to dance, pretty boy?

Are you going so soon?

Don't you want to see your wife?

Fiona?

Shrek?

Aye, Fiona. lt is me.

What happened to your voice?

The potion changed

a lot of things, Fiona.

But not the way l feel about you.

Fiona?

- Charming?

- Do you think so?

Dad. l was so hoping

you'd approve.

- Um... Who are you?

- Mom, it's me, Shrek.

l know you never get a second chance

at a first impression,

but, well, what do you think?

Fiona! Fiona!

Fiona!

- Fiona!

- Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho!

Oh, shoot! l don't think they

can hear us, pigeon.

Don't you think you've already

messed her life up enough?

l just wanted her to be happy.

And now she can be.

Oh, sweetheart.

She's finally found

the prince of her dreams.

But look at me.

Look what l've done for her.

lt's time you stop living

in a fairy tale, Shrek.

She's a princess,

and you're an ogre.

That's something no amount

of potion will ever change.

But...

l love her.

lf you really love her...

you'll let her go.

Shrek?

Senor.

What's going on?

Where are you going?

You wouldn't have had anything to do

with this, would you, Harold?

People just ain't no good

I think that's well understood

There you go, boys.

Just leave the bottle, Doris.

Hey. Why the long face?

lt was all just a stupid mistake.

l never should have rescued her

from that tower in the first place.

l hate Mondays.

l can't believe you'd walk away from

the best thing that happened to you.

What choice do l have?

She loves that pretty boy,

Prince Charming.

Come on. ls he really

that good-looking?

Rate this script:4.7 / 55 votes