Shrek 2 Page #6

Synopsis: Shrek has rescued Princess Fiona, got married, and now is time to meet the parents. Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey set off to Far, Far Away to meet Fiona's mother and father. But not everyone is happy. Shrek and the King find it hard to get along, and there's tension in the marriage. It's not just the family who are unhappy. Prince Charming returns from a failed attempt at rescuing Fiona, and works alongside his mother, the Fairy Godmother, to try and find a way to get Shrek away from Fiona.
Production: DreamWorks SKG
  Nominated for 2 Oscars. Another 18 wins & 50 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.2
Metacritic:
75
Rotten Tomatoes:
88%
PG
Year:
2004
93 min
$436,471,036
Website
87,191 Views


Beg to differ.

Do it all the time!

Have fiona drink this and she will fall in love

with the first man she kisses

which will be charming.

- Umm no.

- What did you say?

Cannot. Will not do it.

Oh yes you will.

lf you remember helped you

with your happily ever after.

And can take it away

just as easily.

ls that what you want? ls it?

- No.

- Good boy.

Now we have to go.

Need to do charming hair

before the ball.

He is hopeless.

He is all high in the front.

He can never get to the back.

You need someone to do the back.

Oh. Thank you mother.

Mother?

Um mary! A talking horse!

The ogre!

Stop them! Thieves! Bandits!

Stop them!

The abs are fab

and it is gluteus to the maximus

here at tonight far far away

royal ball blowout!

The coaches are lined up

as the cream of the crop pours out of them

like miss muffet curds and whey.

Everyone who is anyone

has turned out

to honor princess fiona

and prince shrek.

And oh my

the outfits look gorgeous!

Look! Hansel and gretel!

What the heck are the crumbs for?

And right behind them

tom thumb and thumbelina!

- Oh are not they adorable!

Here comes sleeping beauty!

Tired old thing.

Who is this? Who is this?

Who is this?

Oh. lt is the one it is the only.

lt is the fairy godmother!

Hello far far away!

Can get a whoop whoop?

May all your endings be happy and.

Well you know the rest!

We will be right back with the royal

far far away ball

after these messages.

Hate these ball shows.

They bore me to tears.

Flip over to wheel of torture!

Am not flipping anywhere sir

until see shrek and fiona.

Whizzes on you guys.

Hey mice pass me a buffalo wing!

No to your left. Your left!

- Tonight on knights.

- Now here is a good show!

We got a white bronco heading east

into the forest. Requesting backup.

It is time to teach these madcap mammals

their devil may mare attitudes

just will not fly.

Why you grabbing me?

Police brutality!

Have to talk to princess fiona!

- We warned you!

- Ow! Ow!

Did someone let the cat out of the bag?

You capitalist pig dogs!

- Catnip!

- That is not mine.

Find princess fiona!

Am a donkey!

Tell her shrek.

Am her husband shrek!

Quick! Rewind it!

Am her husband shrek! Ow!

Darling?

Ah. Thought might

find you here.

How about a nice hot cup

of tea before the ball?

Am not going.

The whole kingdom turned out

to celebrate your marriage.

There is just one problem.

That is not my husband.

Mean look at him.

Yes he is a bit different

but people change

for the ones they love.

You had be surprised how much

changed for your mother.

Change?

He is completely lost his mind!

Why not come down to the ball

and give him another chance?

You might find you like

this new shrek.

But it is the old one

Fell in love with dad.

Had give anything to have him back.

Darling. That is mine. Decaf.

Otherwise am up all night.

Thanks.

Got to get out of here!

Got to get out of here!

You cannot lock us up like this!

Let me go!

What about my miranda rights?

You are supposed to say

have the right to remain silent.

Nobody said have the right

to remain silent!

You have the right to remain silent.

What you lack is the capacity.

Must hold on before too

go totally mad.

Shrek? Donkey?

Too late.

Gingy! Pinocchio!

Get us out of here!

Oh.

Fire in ze hole!

Look out below!

Quick! Tell a lie!

- What should say?

- Anything but quick!

Say something crazy like

am wearing ladies underwear!

Am wearing ladies underwear.

- Are you?

- Most certainly am not!

lt looks like you

most certainly am are!

- Am not!

- What kind?

- lt is a thong!

- Oww! They are briefs!

- Are not.

- Are too!

- Are not!

- Are too!

Here we go. Hang tight.

Wait wait wait!

Ow! Ow! Hey hey hey!

Ow!

- Excuse me?

- What? Puss!

Pardon me would you

mind letting me go?

- Sorry, boss.

- Quit messing around!

We have got to stop that kiss!

Thought you was going

to let her go.

Was but cannot let them

do this to fiona.

Boom! That is what like to hear.

Look who is coming around!

lt is impossible!

We will never get in.

The castle guarded.

There is a moat and everything!

Folks it looks like we are up chocolate

creek without a popsicle stick.

- What?

- Do you still know the muffin man?

Well sure!

He is down on drury lane. Why?

Because we are gonna need flour.

Lots and lots of flour.

Gingy!

Fire up the ovens muffin man!

We have got a big order to fill!

lt is alive!

Run run run

as fast you can!

Go baby go!

There it is mongo!

To the castle!

No you great stupid pastry!

Come on!

Mongo! Down here!

Look at the pony!

That is right! Follow the pretty pony!

Pretty pony wants to play

at the castle!

Pretty pony.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Presenting princess fiona

and her new husband prince shrek.

Shrek what are you doing?

Am just playing the part fiona.

ls that glitter on your lips?

Mm. Cherry flavored.

Want to taste?

- Ugh! What is with you?

- But muffin cake.

C minor put it in c minor.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Had like to dedicate this song to.

Princess fiona and prince shrek.

Fiona my princess.

Will you honor me with a dance?

Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Dance!

Where is the streetwise hercules

To fight the rising odds?

Since when do you dance?

Fiona my dearest

if there is one thing know

it is that love is full of surprises.

Late at night toss and turn

And dream of what need

Hit it!

Need a hero

All right big fella!

Let us crash this party!

Man the catapults!

Aim! Fire!

- Brace yourselves!

- Ooh! Purty!

Not the gumdrop button!

lncoming!

Ha ha! All right!

Somewhere after midnight

In my wildest fantasy

Go mongo! Go!

Man the cauldrons!

After you mongo.

- That is it! Heave ho!

- Watch out!

Shrek!

More heat less foam!

Up where the mountains

Meet the heavens above

Out where the lightning

Splits the sea

Could swear there is someone

Somewhere watching me

Heave! Ho!

No!

Come on!

Look out!

- Be good.

He needs me!

Let me go!

Donkey!

Puss!

Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go!

Today repay my debt.

Aww...

On guard!

He is gotta be strong

And he is gotta be fast

And he is gotta be fresh

From the fight

- Need a hero

- Stop!

- Hey you! Back away from my wife.

- Shrek?

You could not just go back to your swamp

and leave well enough alone.

- Now!

- Pigs und blanket!

Pinocchio! Get the wand!

See london! See france!

Whah!

Am a real boy!

Ah! Ah! Aaahhh!

Catch!

Donkey!

Oh!

Am a real boy. Aah!

Oh!

- Ha!

- Ah.

That is mine!

Pray for mercy from puss.

And donkey!

She is taken the potion!

Kiss her now!

No!

- Hiya!

- Fiona.

- Shrek.

Harold! You were supposed

to give her the potion!

Well guess gave her

the wrong tea.

- Mommy!

- Mommy?

Told you.

Ogres do not live happily ever after.

Woo!

Ha!

Oh dad!

- ls he?

- Yup.

He croaked.

Harold?

Dad?

Had hoped you had never

see me like this.

- And he gave you a hard time!

- Donkey!

No no he is right.

Am sorry.

Rate this script:4.7 / 55 votes

Ted Elliott

Ted Elliott (born July 4, 1961) is an American screenwriter. Along with his writing partner Terry Rossio, Elliott has written some of the most successful American films of the past 30 years, including Aladdin, Shrek and the Pirates of the Caribbean series. In 2004, he was elected to the Board of Directors of the Writers Guild of America; his term on the board ended in 2006. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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