Shrek Page #12

DONKEY:

Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camp is starting

to sound good.

SHREK:

Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything

we're going to see in this forest.

FIONA:

I need to find somewhere to camp now!

Both Donkey and Shrek's ears lower as they shrink away from her.

MOUNTAIN CLIFF:

Shrek has found a cave that appears to be in good order. He shoves

a stone boulder out of the way to reveal the cave.

SHREK:

Hey! Over here.

DONKEY:

Shrek, we can do better than that. I

don't think this is fit for a princess.

FIONA:

No, no, it's perfect. It just needs

a few homey touches.

SHREK:

Homey touches? Like what? (he hears

a tearing noise and looks over at Fiona

who has torn the bark off of a tree.)

FIONA:

A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee

good night. (goes into the cave and

puts the bark door up behind her)

DONKEY:

You want me to read you a bedtime story?

I will.

FIONA:

(os) I said good night!

Shrek looks at Donkey for a second and then goes to move the

boulder back in front of the entrance to the cave with Fiona

still inside.

DONKEY:

Shrek, What are you doing?

SHREK:

(laughs) I just- - You know - - Oh,

come on. I was just kidding.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Shrek and Donkey are sitting around a campfire. They are staring

up into the sky as Shrek points out certain star constellations

to Donkey.

SHREK:

And, uh, that one, that's Throwback,

the only ogre to ever spit over three

wheat fields.

DONKEY:

Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future

from these stars?

SHREK:

The stars don't tell the future, Donkey.

They tell stories. Look, there's Bloodnut,

the Flatulent. You can guess what he's

famous for.

DONKEY:

I know you're making this up.

SHREK:

No, look. There he is, and there's the

group of hunters running away from his

stench.

DONKEY:

That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little

dots.

SHREK:

You know, Donkey, sometimes things are

more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it.

DONKEY:

(heaves a big sigh) Hey, Shrek, what

we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?

SHREK:

Our swamp?

DONKEY:

You know, when we're through rescuing

the princess.

SHREK:

We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's

no "our". There's just me and my swamp.

The first thing I'm gonna do is build

a ten-foot wall around my land.

DONKEY:

You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real

deep just now. You know what I think?

I think this whole wall thing is just

a way to keep somebody out.

SHREK:

No, do ya think?

DONKEY:

Are you hidin' something?

SHREK:

Never mind, Donkey.

DONKEY:

Oh, this is another one of those onion

things, isn't it?

SHREK:

No, this is one of those drop-it and

leave-it alone things.

DONKEY:

Why don't you want to talk about it?

SHREK:

Why do you want to talk about it?

DONKEY:

Why are you blocking?

SHREK:

I'm not blocking.

DONKEY:

Oh, yes, you are.

SHREK:

Donkey, I'm warning you.

DONKEY:

Who you trying to keep out?

SHREK:

Everyone! Okay?

DONKEY:

(pause) Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.

(grins)

At this point Fiona pulls the 'door' away from the entrance to

the cave and peaks out. Neither of the guys see her.

SHREK:

Oh! For the love of Pete! (gets up and

walks over to the edge of the cliff

and sits down)

DONKEY:

What's your problem? What you got against

the whole world anyway?

SHREK:

Look, I'm not the one with the problem,

okay? It's the world that seems to have

a problem with me. People take one look

at me and go. "Aah! Help! Run! A big,

stupid, ugly ogre!" They judge me before

they even know me. That's why I'm better

off alone.

DONKEY:

You know what? When we met, I didn't

think you was just a big, stupid, ugly

ogre.

SHREK:

Yeah, I know.

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