Shrek Page #18

SHREK:

Perfect! Never been better.

FIONA:

I - - I don't - - There's something

I have to tell you.

SHREK:

You don't have to tell me anything,

Princess. I heard enough last night.

FIONA:

You heard what I said?

SHREK:

Every word.

FIONA:

I thought you'd understand.

SHREK:

Oh, I understand. Like you said, "Who

could love a hideous, ugly beast?"

FIONA:

But I thought that wouldn't matter to

you.

SHREK:

Yeah? Well, it does. (Fiona looks at

him in shock. He looks past her and

spots a group approaching.) Ah, right

on time. Princess, I've brought you

a little something.

Farquaad has arrived with a group of his men. He looks very regal

sitting up on his horse. You would never guess that he's only

like 3 feet tall. Donkey wakes up with a yawn as the soldiers

march by.

DONKEY:

What'd I miss? What'd I miss? (spots

the soldiers) (muffled) Who said that?

Couldn't have been the donkey.

FARQUAAD:

Princess Fiona.

SHREK:

As promised. Now hand it over.

FARQUAAD:

Very well, ogre. (holds out a piece

of paper) The deed to your swamp, cleared

out, as agreed. Take it and go before

I change my mind. (Shrek takes the paper)

Forgive me, Princess, for startling

you, but you startled me, for I have

never seen such a radiant beauty before.

I'm Lord Farquaad.

FIONA:

Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no. (Farquaad

snaps his fingers) Forgive me, my lord,

for I was just saying a short... (Watches

as Farquaad is lifted off his horse

and set down in front of her. He comes

to her waist.) farewell.

FARQUAAD:

Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have

to waste good manners on the ogre. It's

not like it has feelings.

FIONA:

No, you're right. It doesn't.

Donkey watches this exchange with a curious look on his face.

FARQUAAD:

Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawless

Fiona. I ask your hand in marriage.

Will you be the perfect bride for the

perfect groom?

FIONA:

Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would

make - -

FARQUAAD:

(interrupting) Excellent! I'll start

the plans, for tomorrow we wed!

FIONA:

No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get

married today before the sun sets.

FARQUAAD:

Oh, anxious, are you? You're right.

The sooner, the better. There's so much

to do! There's the caterer, the cake,

the band, the guest list. Captain, round

up some guests! (a guard puts Fiona

on the back of his horse)

FIONA:

Fare-thee-well, ogre.

Farquaad's whole party begins to head back to DuLoc. Donkey watches

them go.

DONKEY:

Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting

her get away.

SHREK:

Yeah? So what?

DONKEY:

Shrek, there's something about her you

don't know. Look, I talked to her last

night, She's - -

SHREK:

I know you talked to her last night.

You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if

you two are such good friends, why don't

you follow her home?

DONKEY:

Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you.

SHREK:

I told you, didn't I? You're not coming

home with me. I live alone! My swamp!

Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody!

Especially useless, pathetic, annoying,

talking donkeys!

DONKEY:

But I thought - -

SHREK:

Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong!

(stomps off)

DONKEY:

Shrek.

Montage of different scenes. Shrek arriving back home. Fiona

being fitted for the wedding dress. Donkey at a stream running

into the dragon. Shrek cleaning up his house. Fiona eating dinner

alone. Shrek eating dinner alone.

SHREK'S HOME

Shrek is eating dinner when he hears a sound outside. He goes

outside to investigate.

SHREK:

Donkey? (Donkey ignores him and continues

with what he's doing.) What are you

doing?

DONKEY:

I would think, of all people, you would

recognize a wall when you see one.

SHREK:

Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed

to go around my swamp, not through it.

DONKEY:

It is around your half. See that's your

half, and this is my half.

SHREK:

Oh! Your half. Hmm.

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