Shrek Page #19

DONKEY:

Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess.

I did half the work. I get half the

booty. Now hand me that big old rock,

the one that looks like your head.

SHREK:

Back off!

DONKEY:

No, you back off.

SHREK:

This is my swamp!

DONKEY:

Our swamp.

SHREK:

(grabs the tree branch Donkey is working

with) Let go, Donkey!

DONKEY:

You let go.

SHREK:

Stubborn jackass!

DONKEY:

Smelly ogre.

SHREK:

Fine! (drops the tree branch and walks

away)

DONKEY:

Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through

with you yet.

SHREK:

Well, I'm through with you.

DONKEY:

Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always,

"Me, me, me!" Well, guess what! Now

it's my turn! So you just shut up and

pay attention! You are mean to me. You

insult me and you don't appreciate anything

that I do! You're always pushing me

around or pushing me away.

SHREK:

Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so

bad, how come you came back?

DONKEY:

Because that's what friends do! They

forgive each other!

SHREK:

Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive

you... for stabbin' me in the back!

(goes into the outhouse and slams the

door)

DONKEY:

Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers,

onion boy, you're afraid of your own

feelings.

SHREK:

(os) Go away!

DONKEY:

There you are , doing it again just

like you did to Fiona. All she ever

do was like you, maybe even love you.

SHREK:

(os) Love me? She said I was ugly, a

hideous creature. I heard the two of

you talking.

DONKEY:

She wasn't talkin' about you. She was

talkin' about, uh, somebody else.

SHREK:

(opens the door and comes out) She wasn't

talking about me? Well, then who was

she talking about?

DONKEY:

Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything.

You don't wanna listen to me. Right?

Right?

SHREK:

Donkey!

DONKEY:

No!

SHREK:

Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right? (sigh)

I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big,

stupid, ugly ogre. Can you forgive me?

DONKEY:

Hey, that's what friends are for, right?

SHREK:

Right. Friends?

DONKEY:

Friends.

SHREK:

So, um, what did Fiona say about me?

DONKEY:

What are you asking me for? Why don't

you just go ask her?

SHREK:

The wedding! We'll never make it in

time.

DONKEY:

Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's

a will, there's a way and I have a way.

(whistles)

Suddenly the dragon arrives overhead and flies low enough so

they can climb on.

SHREK:

Donkey?

DONKEY:

I guess it's just my animal magnetism.

They both laugh.

SHREK:

Aw, come here, you. (gives Donkey a

noogie)

DONKEY:

All right, all right. Don't get all

slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. All

right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't

had a chance to install the seat belts

yet.

They climb aboard the dragon and she takes off for DuLoc.

DULOC - CHURCH

Fiona and Farquaad are getting married. The whole town is there.

The prompter card guy holds up a card that says 'Revered Silence'.

PRIEST:

People of DuLoc, we gather here today

to bear witness to the union....

FIONA:

(eyeing the setting sun) Um-

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