Shrek Page #2

The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One

of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's

hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled

with fairy dust and he's able to fly.

DONKEY:

Hey! I can fly!

PETER PAN:

He can fly!

3 LITTLE PIGS

He can fly!

HEAD GUARD:

He can talk!

DONKEY:

Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm

a flying, talking donkey. You might

have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly

but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey

fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins

to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink

to the ground.)

He hits the ground with a thud.

HEAD GUARD:

Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.)

After him!

GUARDS:

He's getting away! Get him! This way!

Turn!

Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally.

Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared

for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He

quickly hides behind Shrek.

HEAD GUARD:

You there. Ogre!

SHREK:

Aye?

HEAD GUARD:

By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized

to place you both under arrest and transport

you to a designated resettlement facility.

SHREK:

Oh, really? You and what army?

He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well

and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail

and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and

begins walking back to his cottage.

DONKEY:

Can I say something to you? Listen,

you was really, really, really somethin'

back here. Incredible!

SHREK:

Are you talkin' to...(he turns around

and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back

around and Donkey is right in front

of him.) Whoa!

DONKEY:

Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell

you that you that you was great back

here? Those guards! They thought they

was all of that. Then you showed up,

and bam! They was trippin' over themselves

like babes in the woods. That really

made me feel good to see that.

SHREK:

Oh, that's great. Really.

DONKEY:

Man, it's good to be free.

SHREK:

Now, why don't you go celebrate your

freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

DONKEY:

But, uh, I don't have any friends. And

I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey,

wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll

stick with you. You're mean, green,

fightin' machine. Together we'll scare

the spit out of anybody that crosses

us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very

loudly.

DONKEY:

Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you

don't mind me sayin', if that don't

work, your breath certainly will get

the job done, 'cause you definitely

need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause

you breath stinks! You almost burned

the hair outta my nose, just like the

time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey

continues to talk, so Shrek removes

his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten

berries. I had strong gases leaking

out of my butt that day.

SHREK:

Why are you following me?

DONKEY:

I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause

I'm all alone, There's no one here beside

me, My problems have all gone, There's

no one to deride me, But you gotta have

faith...

SHREK:

Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't

have any friends.

DONKEY:

Wow. Only a true friend would be that

cruelly honest.

SHREK:

Listen, little donkey. Take a look at

me. What am I?

DONKEY:

(looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really

tall?

SHREK:

No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your

torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that

bother you?

DONKEY:

Nope.

SHREK:

Really?

DONKEY:

Really, really.

SHREK:

Oh.

DONKEY:

Man, I like you. What's you name?

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