Shrek Page #9

Donkey is still talking to himself as he looks around the room.

DONKEY:

I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it

to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm

the stair master. I've mastered the

stairs. I wish I had a step right here.

I'd step all over it.

ELSEWHERE:

Shrek spots a light in the tallest tower window.

SHREK:

Well, at least we know where the princess

is, but where's the...

DONKEY:

(os) Dragon!

Donkey gasps and takes off running as the dragon roars again.

Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon

breathes fire.

SHREK:

Donkey, look out! (he manages to get

a hold of the dragons tail and holds

on) Got ya!

The dragon gets irritated at this and flicks it's tail and Shrek

goes flying through the air and crashes through the roof of the

tallest tower. Fiona wakes up with a jerk and looks at him lying

on the floor.

DONKEY:

Oh! Aah! Aah!

Donkey get cornered as the Dragon knocks away all but a small

part of the bridge he's on.

DONKEY:

No. Oh, no, No! (the dragon roars) Oh,

what large teeth you have. (the dragon

growls) I mean white, sparkling teeth.

I know you probably hear this all time

from your food, but you must bleach,

'cause that is one dazzling smile you

got there. Do I detect a hint of minty

freshness? And you know what else? You're

- - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure!

I mean, of course you're a girl dragon.

You're just reeking of feminine beauty.

(the dragon begins fluttering her eyes

at him) What's the matter with you?

You got something in your eye? Ohh.

Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay,

but you know, I'm, uh...(the dragon

blows a smoke ring in the shape of a

heart right at him, and he coughs) I'm

an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd

work out if you're gonna blow smoke

rings. Shrek! (the dragon picks him

up with her teeth and carries him off)

No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

FIONA'S ROOM

Shrek groans as he gets up off the floor. His back is to Fiona

so she straightens her dress and lays back down on the bed. She

then quickly reaches over and gets the bouquet of flowers off

the side table. She then lays back down and appears to be asleep.

Shrek turns and goes over to her. He looks down at Fiona for

a moment and she puckers her lips. Shrek takes her by the shoulders

and shakes her away.

FIONA:

Oh! Oh!

SHREK:

Wake up!

FIONA:

What?

SHREK:

Are you Princess Fiona?

FIONA:

I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to

rescue me.

SHREK:

Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!

FIONA:

But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our

first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful,

romantic moment?

SHREK:

Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.

FIONA:

Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should

sweep me off my feet out yonder window

and down a rope onto your valiant steed.

SHREK:

You've had a lot of time to plan this,

haven't you?

FIONA:

(smiles) Mm-hmm.

Shrek breaks the lock on her door and pulls her out and down

the hallway.

FIONA:

But we have to savor this moment! You

could recite an epic poem for me. A

ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!

SHREK:

I don't think so.

FIONA:

Can I at least know the name of my champion?

SHREK:

Uh, Shrek.

FIONA:

Sir Shrek. (clears throat and holds

out a handkerchief) I pray that you

take this favor as a token of my gratitude.

SHREK:

Thanks!

Suddenly they hear the dragon roar.

FIONA:

(surprised)You didn't slay the dragon?

SHREK:

It's on my to-do list. Now come on!

(takes off running and drags Fiona behind

him.)

FIONA:

But this isn't right! You were meant

to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying.

That's what all the other knights did.

SHREK:

Yeah, right before they burst into flame.

FIONA:

That's not the point. (Shrek suddenly

stops and she runs into him.) Oh! (Shrek

ignores her and heads for a wooden door

off to the side.) Wait. Where are you

going? The exit's over there.

SHREK:

Well, I have to save my ass.

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