Shrek Page #10

FIONA:

What kind of knight are you?

SHREK:

One of a kind. (opens the door into

the throne room)

DONKEY:

(os) Slow down. Slow down, baby, please.

I believe it's healthy to get to know

someone over a long period of time.

Just call me old-fashioned. (laughs

worriedly) (we see him up close and

from a distance as Shrek sneaks into

the room) I don't want to rush into

a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally

ready for a commitment of, uh, this

- - Magnitude really is the word I'm

looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that

is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what

are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just

back up a little and take this one step

at a time. We really should get to know

each other first as friends or pen pals.

I'm on the road a lot, but I just love

receiving cards - - I'd really love

to stay, but - - Don't do that! That's

my tail! That's my personal tail. You're

gonna tear it off. I don't give permission

- - What are you gonna do with that?

Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No.

No, no, no. No! Oh!

Shrek grabs a chain that's connected to the chandelier and swings

toward the dragon. He misses and he swings back again. He looks

up and spots that the chandelier is right above the dragons head.

He pulls on the chain and it releases and he falls down and bumps

Donkey out of the way right as the dragon is about to kiss him.

Instead the dragon kisses Shreks' butt. She opens her eyes and

roars. Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto

her head, but it's too big and it goes over her head and forms

a sort of collar for her. She roars again and Shrek and Donkey

take off running. Very 'Matrix' style. Shrek grabs Donkey and

then grabs Princess Fiona as he runs past her.

DONKEY:

Hi, Princess!

FIONA:

It talks!

SHREK:

Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's

the trick.

They all start screaming as the dragon gains on them. Shrek spots

a descending slide and jumps on. But unfortunately there is a

crack in the stone and it hits Shrek right in the groin. His

eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide he stumbles

off and walks lightly.

SHREK:

Oh!

Shrek gets them close to the exit and sets down Donkey and Fiona.

SHREK:

Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll

take care of the dragon.

Shrek grabs a sword and heads back toward the interior of the

castle. He throws the sword down in between several overlapping

chain links. The chain links are attached to the chandelier that

is still around the dragons neck.

SHREK:

(echoing) Run!

They all take off running for the exit with the dragon in hot

pursuit. They make it to the bridge and head across. The dragons

breathes fire and the bridge begins to burn. They all hang on

for dear life as the ropes holding the bridge up collapse. They

are swung to the other side. As they hang upside down they look

in horror as the dragon makes to fly over the boiling lava to

get them. But suddenly the chandelier with the chain jerk the

dragon back and she's unable to get to them. Our gang climbs

quickly to safety as the dragon looks angry and then gives a

sad whimper as she watches Donkey walk away.

FIONA:

(sliding down the 'volcano' hill) You

did it! You rescued me! You're amazing.

(behind her Donkey falls down the hill)

You're - - You're wonderful. You're...

(turns and sees Shrek fall down the

hill and bump into Donkey) a little

unorthodox I'll admit. But thy deed

is great, and thy heart is pure. I am

eternally in your debt. (Donkey clears

his throat.) And where would a brave

knight be without his noble steed?

DONKEY:

I hope you heard that. She called me

a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.

FIONA:

The battle is won. You may remove your

helmet, good Sir Knight.

SHREK:

Uh, no.

FIONA:

Why not?

SHREK:

I have helmet hair.

FIONA:

Please. I would'st look upon the face

of my rescuer.

SHREK:

No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.

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