Shrek Forever After: The Final Chapter Page #3

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Looks like you got

exactly what you wanted!

- Happy Ogre Day!

- Rumpel!

Get him, witches!

You know what'd help morale

around here? Flip-flop Fridays.

Feet be comfortable

with the breeze on your toes.

Come on, girls!

Lock all the doors,

you worthless witches! Do it!

I'll be right back, Donkey!

I don't know you! I don't know him!

I'm glad I'm not you.

Help me! Help!

Help!

No, not my pretty ball!

Watch out!

Wolfie?

My angry wig.

Help! I've been kidnapped

by a deranged, unbalanced ogre!

Donkey! Get off of me!

Watch it with your pointy hooves!

- Just take my wallet!

- Hey!

I'm being ass-napped!

Animal cruelty! Help!

You need to calm down!

I'm your friend.

I'm not gonna hurt you, all right?

Good. I'm gonna let go...

...right... now.

Please! Eat my face last!

Send my hooves to my mama!

Donkey! You've got to trust me.

- Why should I trust you?

- Because...

Because...

OK.

Fine! Go ahead!

Run away! Who needs you?

I've never seen an ogre cry.

I'm not crying.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I cry all the time.

Just thinking about my grandma,

or thinking about baby kittens,

or my grandma kissing a baby kitten,

or a little baby grandma kitten.

- That is so darn sad.

- I said, I'm not crying!

Take it easy, I'm only trying to help.

It's none of my business

why you're upset.

By the way, why are you upset?

I was tricked into signing something

I shouldn't have.

You signed up for one of them

time-shares, huh?

No. I signed this.

You should never sign a contract

with Rumpelstiltskin!

Yeah, I got that.

- His fine print is crafty.

- I know.

- His exit clauses are sneaky.

- Yeah, I...

- What did you say?

- I'm talking about the exit clause.

Used to be, you had to guess his name,

but now everybody knows

who Rumpelstiltskin is.

Donkey, I've read the fine print.

There's nothing

about an exit clause in here.

Well, you didn't expect him

to make it easy for you.

Here, let me show you how it's done.

I didn't spend all that time

around them witches

without picking up a few tricks.

Your tiny, little ogre brain

couldn't begin to comprehend

the complexity

of my polygonic foldability skills.

What are you doing?

Hey, I can't get my origami on

unless you back off.

Thank you. OK, here's what you

gotta do. You fold this piece here,

make this letter match up here,

bring this corner here,

and if you do it just right,

it will show you what to do. There!

"Try Lou's Bliss. "

Who's Lou?

Give me that!

"True Love's Kiss. "

You have to take me to dinner first.

"According to fairy tale law,

if not fully satisfied,

true love's kiss will render

this contract null and void. "

Donkey, you did it! Look at you!

If Fiona and I share true love's kiss,

I will get my life back!

OK! This isn't a petting zoo!

So where is this Fiona?

Well, that's just it, you see.

I don't know.

You know, when I lose something,

I always try to retrace my steps.

So... where did you leave her last?

The last time I saw her,

I told her I wished

I'd never rescued her.

- Oh, no.

- Shrek?

Shrek! Shrek, wait! Wait, Shrek!

What, are you crazy?

That's the Dragon's Keep!

They keep dragons in there!

OK, yeah, fine! Go ahead!

I'm gonna just hang back here

and find us some breakfast!

Fiona!

Oh, no.

If I didn't save Fiona...

...then who did?

This is the favour Fiona was

supposed to give me on the day we met.

It's a symbol of our love.

Now smell it!

Hey, man, get that dirty

favour out of my face!

Your nose is the only chance

I have of tracking down my wife,

so stop complaining and start smelling.

Smell it! Get it! Away you go, girl!

Do I look like a bloodhound to you?

In case you haven't noticed,

I'm a donkey, not a dog!

If I was a dog, they'd call me Dog,

not Donkey!

And another thing...

Wait a minute.

I think I got something.

- Whatever it is, it's sweet.

- Fiona.

Luscious and tasty.

Hey! That's my wife

you're talking about.

Donkey!

Yeah! Waffles!

And I thought the Waffle Fairy

was just a bedtime story.

Sticky stacks of golden,

syrupy deliciousness!

Donkey! Don't eat that!

There's a stack of freshly made waffles

in the middle of the forest.

Don't you find that

a wee bit suspicious?

Oh, you... I'm just... What are you...?

Bad Donkey! Mustn't.

I said, don't! Don't!

No! Get away from it.

You did.

Look out!

Donkey!

- Are you OK?

- I'm fine.

Donkey.

Help! Help me!

Help, Shrek! Help!

Watch your head.

Hey, it's a new guy!

Look at him, all dressed up

in his Sunday vest.

He's really tiny, isn't he?

Yeah. Fate has delivered us

a comrade-in-arms

and for that, we are thankful.

Suit him up!

- Let's go, greenie.

- Now, wait a minute!

- Hey!

- Here you go.

- Welcome to the resistance.

- Resistance?

We fight for freedom

and ogres everywhere!

I didn't know we could do that.

Help! You can't eat me! I got the mange!

- I'm poisonous! I'm all poi...

- I'll take him! This order's to go.

Hey! I haven't removed his giblets yet.

Trust me, you don't want

to eat this one.

I go down smooth,

but come out fighting!

- Let go!

- Don't make Mama mad.

Your dinner is my friend!

- Come on, guys!

- I got to get the giblets out!

- She's back.

- There she is.

Fiona!

I'm so happy I found you!

Maybe you missed orientation,

but for future reference,

personal space is very important to me.

You don't know who I am, do you?

No.

Brogan, I have news from Far Far Away.

Gather the others

and meet me in the war room.

Gretched, make sure everyone

is prepared to move out tonight.

- I need to talk to you.

- What is it?

OK, I know you don't

remember me, but...

...we're married. Hear me out.

And at the birthday party

with some pigs and a puppet,

the villagers wanted me

to sign their pitchforks,

and this boy kept saying,

"Do the roar. "

Then I punched the cakes that the

pigs ate and the next thing I knew,

my donkey fell in your waffle hole.

Right? Who's with me?

I guess I must have kicked him

harder than I thought.

Fiona, I need to...

Witches! All right, everyone,

you know the drill!

- Fiona!

- Witches! Oh, no!

- Witches! Witches!

- Come on, now.

Fiona, that's the third patrol today.

We can't hide forever.

Trust me, Brogan.

After tonight, we won't have to.

- That's your wife?

- That's my wife.

Well, I see who wears the chain mail

in your family!

Some people like to look

at the goblet as... as half empty.

Me, I like to look at it as half full.

We've gone from the bottom

to the top, ladies.

But we're not just an empire.

We're a family.

Everyone has got their cupcake?

Cupcake, cupcake? Good. Yes? Baba?

Good.

Yeah, you know, we have

put away a lot of ogres.

And so one got away.

Who cares? It's not a big deal.

It doesn't matter to me.

It's not like it's the end of the world.

Except... funny thing.

Now that I think about it,

the ogre who got away is Shrek!

And if he shares a kiss

with Fiona by sunrise,

it is the end of the world! Our world!

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