Shrek Forever After: The Final Chapter Page #4

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My empire!

But, as I was saying,

I like to look at the goblet

as half full.

Yelling makes me so parched.

Would anyone care for some water?

Wet your whistle?

A clear, crisp, delicious glass...

...of agua purificada?

Anybody's thirsty?

Nobody's thirsty? No?

Well, then does anyone care to tell me

what it's going to take

to get this ogre? You.

Faster brooms?

- No!

- Pointier hats?

- No! You!

- Maybe we could hire

a professional bounty hunter?

What a world! What a world!

You know, actually

not a bad idea. Baba!

I need a bounty hunter.

And if music doth

soothe the savage beast...

...then I think I might know

just the person!

Listen up, everyone.

Word has come from Far Far Away.

Stiltskin is leading

tonight's ogre hunt himself.

- He's never done that before.

- What? Why?

I bet that's because of us.

If that cupcake-eating clown

finally leaves the safety

of his filthy witch nest...

...he'll be vulnerable.

The plan's simple.

If they follow the usual patrol route,

they'll reach the river by midnight.

We'll be concealed along this road,

waiting for his caravan.

Once they reach the clearing,

I'll give the signal.

And then we attack!

And when the smoke clears...

Wait, what's this?

That's my chimichanga stand.

No, Cookie. We won't be needing that.

Trust me, Fiona. Y'all gonna be

really hungry after this ambush, OK?

Go and finish your little speech.

All right, as I was saying,

when the smoke clears,

Rumpelstiltskin is gone

and the chimichangas have been eaten.

Far Far Away will finally be free.

- And so will we.

- Spread the word.

We move out as soon as

Rumpel leaves the palace.

- Man, this is serious!

- Tell me about it.

How am I ever gonna

get her to kiss me before sunrise?

Actually, I was talking

about the revolution.

Revolution?

Why don't you just

tell her what you told me?

About how you're her true love and

you came from an alternate universe.

Well, while I'm at it,

why don't I tell her

that you're married

to a fire-breathing dragon

and you have little, mutant

donkey-dragon babies.

I do?!

You saw what happened.

She's gonna think I'm crazy.

I'm a daddy?

You know what?

If I got Fiona to kiss me once...

...then I can do it again.

Shrek, do my babies

have hooves or talons?

Donkey...!

Hello?

Fiona?

You should not be here, seor.

Puss?

You've gotta be kidding me.

Feed me, if you dare.

Puss, what happened to you?

You got so fa...

...fancy.

- Do I know you?

Well, where's your hat?

Where's your belt?

Your wee little boots?

Boots? For a cat? Ha!

But you're Puss in Boots.

Maybe once.

But that is a name I have outgrown.

That's not the only thing

you've outgrown.

Hey! I may have let myself go

a little since retirement,

but hanging up my sword

was the best decision of my life.

I have all the cream I can drink

and all the mice I can chase.

I'll get him later.

Puss, what have I done to you?

You've gone soft.

Well, I do get brushed twice a day.

Look, it's not too late to fix it.

All you have to do is help me

get a kiss from Fiona.

What are you doing?

Can I help you with something?

Well, I know how stressful

mounting a rebellion can be...

...rallying the troops,

planning attacks,

so I brought you a little something

to ease the tension.

A gift basket?

You're welcome.

So let's see what you got.

Heart-shaped box of slugs.

Skunk-scented candle.

- Look, this really isn't the...

- What's this? Coupons!

Let's see,

"Good for one free foot massage. "

"A mud facial!"

Oh, and here's one...

"Good for one free kiss. "

Let's cash it now.

Look, I don't know

what this is all about,

but I'm trying to run a revolution.

So unless you have

Rumpelstiltskin's head in there,

I suggest you take your gift basket,

get out of my tent

and go make yourself useful!

Wow. You're right. I am sorry.

I was just trying to be friendly.

No hard feelings?

An apologetic hug?

And a quick kiss goodbye.

Hey!

Wait! Is that mistletoe I see?

Hey, Shrek! Are my babies cute, or do

they make people feel uncomfortable?

- Where'd we find that guy?

- Could it be true?

Have the years of prim

and pampery made me soft?

Don't be silly.

Now who's a pretty kitty?

I am.

Daddy thinks you look real nice, Fifi.

Honk.

All right, Piggies, be gone!

Don't forget to take

her little potty box with you.

This little piggy wants to go home!

- Mr. Stiltskin! He's here.

- Nice.

Pied Piper. How was your commute?

Good.

You call this guy a bounty hunter?

What's he gonna do,

flute those ogres a lullaby?

OK, got it!

Make it stop!

All right, that's enough.

Looks like it's time to pay the piper.

Griselda, seriously,

it's time to pay the piper.

Now go get my cheque book!

Go! Move! Get out!

Things are getting

real sloppy around here!

Here, now make sure they eat up!

You can't end tyranny on

an empty stomach! Go on! Go!

Din-din!

- Come on, Donkey.

- One more time, please?

All right, but this is the last time.

Here it comes. Look at him.

I see you!

That's quite a friend you've got there.

I can see why you haven't eaten him.

Donkey! I hate to pull you away

from your adoring public,

but I'm not getting anywhere with Fiona.

- I need your help!

- Hey, everybody. Who wants dessert?

- Where'd you get these?

- Fiona's garbage.

Just another gift from some

clueless lover boy.

That's a good one, Cookie!

Anyone who knows Fiona knows

this stuff ain't gonna work on her.

Works on me.

Donkey, what am I gonna do?

It's like I don't even know her.

You in trouble, Romeo. The only thing

Fiona cares about is her cause.

- To the cause!

- To the cause!

All right!

Hello!

- Nice moves.

- What are you doing?

What does it look like?

I'm getting ready for ambush action.

Oh, yeah.

I always like to quad my lutes

and do some scrunches

before an operational... op.

This one taken?

We use that to clean the toilets.

And we use that one to clean

the thing we clean the toilets with.

I knew that.

There you go, chief.

Hey... Scott?

My name is Shrek, actually.

You're going to get yourself killed

at the ambush tonight.

I'll be fine.

I think I can take care of myself...

Well, let's see about that.

Hey! Hey... Hey!

What the...?

Fiona?

I got it.

Give me your hand.

The dragon goes under the bridge,

through the loop and finally...

Into the castle.

Wow.

OK. Good.

It seems like you can handle yourself.

- But, Fiona...

- Go get ready for the mission!

- I will, but Fiona...

- That's an order!

All right, let's get those axes

sharpened and weapons packed!

Preparation is half the battle!

Ogre! Un momento! Un momento!

Ogre, ogre, un momento!

Just give me a minute.

Look, Puss, I'm a little

pressed for time.

I am not believing

what I have just witnessed.

Back there, you and Fiona.

There was a spark...

a spark inside her heart

I thought was long extinguished.

It was as if, for one moment,

Fiona had actually found her true love!

I am her true love. I ended her curse.

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