Shrek Forever After Page #12

Needless to say as well, pretty much all ogres that weren't Shrek, were completely dumbstruck, and so was Donkey.

Shrek:
Right? Who’s with me?

Fiona:
Wow, (chuckles a bit) I guess I must have kicked him harder than I thought.

The ogres in the resistance laughed a bit.

Shrek:
Fiona, I need to…

But she held his hand up, as a lookout ogre was perched on a lookout, making "caw" sounds.

Fiona:
Witches! All right, everyone, you know the drill!

She and the other ogres (except Shrek) went to their battle stations.

Shrek:
Fiona!

Donkey:
Witches! Oh, no! Witches! Witches!

Shrek grabbed Donkey and the sticks he was still attached to.

Shrek:
Come on, now.

Some of the ogres cut some ropes, closing up the big holes some ogres hid in just in time, and dropping sand bags on fires, putting them out. The weapons were placed in a net which was hoisted upwards, and then a couple ogres hid in a hole underground, putting a cover over the hiding place. Some other ogres, wearing rocks and plants on their heads, held their breaths as they ducked down into some swamp water, and the remaining ogres (Fiona and Brogan included) with bush disguises gathered around the spot where Shrek was and crouched down. With that, every last ogre and the camp itself was completely hidden from sight. Shrek covered the whimpering Donkey's mouth, while the ogres looked up, and saw three of the witches flying up over the forest on their brooms. The lead witch glanced down at the forest, not finding any ogres or the camp, and gave a sneer. The witches then flew off, retreating to Rumpelstiltskin's castle. Once they were gone, the ogres came from their hiding place, murmuring while heading back to their posts.

Brogan:
Fiona, that’s the third patrol today. We can’t hide forever.

Fiona:
Trust me, Brogan. After tonight, we won’t have to.

Shrek and Donkey just sat where they were.

Donkey:
That’s your wife?

Shrek:
That’s my wife.

Donkey:
Well, I see who wears the chain mail in your family!

The ogre gave a weird look at the donkey.

Back at Rumpelstiltskin's palace, the dictator, not wearing any wigs, was staring at the hour glass with the sands of Shrek's time running, and he gave a sigh.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Some people like to look at the goblet as--as half empty.

He then turned to a table where some of his witches was sitting, and each had her own cupcake.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Me, I like to look at it as half full. We’ve gone from the bottom to the top, ladies, but we’re not just an empire, we’re a family. Everyone has got their cupcake? Cupcake? Cupcake? Good. Yes? (to one of the witches) Baba?

The witch named Baba nodded.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Good.

He then walked around the table as he continued.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Yeah, you know, we have put away a lot of ogres. And so one got away. Who cares? It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t matter to me.

One of the witches who was eating her cupcake, nodded in agreement.

Rumpelstiltskin:
It’s not like it’s the end of the world.

Then he came to the edge of the table, with the tone of his voice becoming a bit more sharp.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Except, funny thing...

He motioned the witch he was near to help him upon top of the table and that's what she did, and the villain began to rant.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Now that I think about it, the ogre who got away is Shrek! (with frustration raising in his voice) And if he shares a kiss with Fiona by sunrise, it IS the end of the world! OUR world! MY EMPIRE!!

Fifi, resting nearby, honked loudly. Then Rumpelstiltskin exhaled, calming down a bit, as he continued speaking more calmly, though his voice still had a hint of danger to it.

Rumpelstiltskin:
But, as I was saying, (takes pitcher of water and pours it into glass) I like to look at the goblet as half full.

The witches gasped and whimpered in fear, knowing that he might use it to melt any one of them.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Yelling makes me so parched. Would anyone care for some water?

He began to walk across the table and shove the glass of water in one of the panicked witches' faces.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Wet your whistle?

She shook her head 'no' in fear as he slyly walked over to another panicked witch.

Rumpelstiltskin:
A clear, crisp, delicious glass...of aqua purificada?

She nervously declined as well.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Anybody’s thirsty? Nobody’s thirsty? No? (puts pitcher down) Well, then does anyone care to tell me what it’s going to take to get this ogre?!

He narrowed his eyes and pointed to Broomsy Witch.

Rumpelstiltskin:
You.

Broomsy Witch:
Faster brooms?

Rumpelstiltskin:
No!

Hat Witch:
(scared) Pointier hats?

Rumpelstiltskin:
No! (to another witch) You!

Witch:
Maybe we could hire a professional bounty hunter?

He shouted and stomped his feet in frustration before splashing the water onto the witch, melting her like a certain other witch.

Witch:
(as she's melting) What a world! What a world!

Soon, as the steam cleared and there was nothing left of that witch but a soggy pile of her clothes. Then, Rumpelstiltskin pondered at the suggestion.

Rumpelstiltskin:
You know, actually not a bad idea. (points to Baba) Baba!

Baba jumped out of her chair in fear.

Rumpelstiltskin:
I need a bounty hunter. And if music doth soothe the savage beast…(chortles evilly a bit) then I think I might know just the person!

He dipped his finger in the frosting of the cupcake and licked the frosting right off, giving a malicious grin.

Back at the resistance camp, a meeting was being held inside a tree, with Shrek and Donkey, who was untied, looking from the outside through some holes in the trees. Shrek has gathered Brogan, Gretched, Cookie, and some other ogres to discuss a battle plan, which was set out on a rock table, with little model figures and everything.

Fiona:
Listen up, everyone. Word has come from Far Far Away. Stiltskin is leading tonight’s ogre hunt himself.

The ogres started murmuring.

Ogres:
(randomly) He’s never done that before. What? Why?

Donkey:
I bet that’s because of us.

Shrek:
Shhh!

Brogan:
If that cupcake-eating clown finally leaves the safety of his filthy witch nest, he’ll be vulnerable.

Fiona:
The plan’s simple.

She starts moving a model of the carriage with a couple witches along a path, with the ogre models off to the side and Fiona's model on top of a cliff.

Fiona:
If they follow the usual patrol route, they’ll reach the river by midnight. We’ll be concealed along this road, waiting for his caravan. Once they reach the clearing, I’ll give the signal.

Fiona pressed the top of her model's head, making its arm raise up a sword it had, which would be the signal.

Fiona:
And then we attack!

He raised her actual dagger and used it to slide the ogre models toward the witch models, knocking the latter down and off the table.

Fiona:
And when the smoke clears…

Then she noticed a model of Cookie with some sort of wagon.

Fiona:
Wait, what’s this?

Cookie:
That’s my chimichanga stand.

Fiona:
No, Cookie. We won’t be needing that.

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