Sick Of It All Page #6

early in the process.

It's like--

we need to--

you know, nurture

and keep safe and

just keep the negative

energy out until it's--

till we're at the right

stage of the process in

the healing process.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I understand,

i understand.

I just didn't want to be

the cause of a blockage.

No.

No.

No.

No.

It's nothing

like that.

No, nothing.

I was joking.

Yeah, I didn't mean--

-yeah.

-Hmm.

Rose tells me you--

you collect dolls.

I collect vintage toys.

Some of them

are dolls, yeah.

That's cool.

Hey,

way to stay young,

you know?

To pretend and

live in fantasy,

I mean, that's--

I wish I had more time

for that sort of activity.

So you use some kind of sound

machine you made up,

or you made it?

Correct, on both counts.

I am the inventor

of the daily chakraphone

and it is named after me,

but I encourage you

to get your daily dose

of the daily chakraphone.

It feels so amazing

after a session.

You should

really try it.

I've been wanting him

to try a session.

I mean, it could help you

with quitting smoking or--

you know what

we should do?

I should do some

clairvoyant teachings

for his-- what is it,

when he hunts for toys?

That would be a good

application, right?

Why don't you come in

for a sesh?

What does it do, actually?

Well, I mean,

just basically...

- May I?

- Mm-hmm.

So, um, picture a tuning fork

after it's been struck.

--So it vibrates.

Makes a sound,

a tone.

Now the daily chakraphone

vibrates at frequencies

that speak directly

to the frequencies

of the human being's DNA.

Wow.

-Yeah.

-That just--

it sounds fantastic.

Well, that's actually

not very crazy.

I mean, the science

is all right there.

It's just a matter

of knowing where to look,

knowing where to dial in

for the specific illness,

you know.

Whatever it might be,

mental, spiritual,

physical.

My industry has, you know,

modernized with computers

and a lot, you know.

But, um...

I am currently developing

a chakraphone phone app

as we speak.

You just feel

so much clarity.

-Thank you.

-Well, that's cool.

I mean, that's very cool.

You know, I'm just a kind of

a hands-on type of guy.

You know, like, I need

to see it to believe it.

No, it's fine.

Do you want to do

a session?

Yeah.

Do a session on him,

just by himself?

-Yeah.

-I have

the chakraphone.

You both should do

the convention together.

Wow, thank you.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, I guess,

I'm just, uh,

just a bit of a skeptic,

that's it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was too.

Wow, I was

just like you.

Yeah, you know,

you remind me of me.

So we're having this thing

that I do annually,

and it's happening

next weekend,

and it's actually

our anniversary.

It's a 10-year-anniversary

and as you know,

I've asked rose

to help me out with

the demonstrations

and maybe even some

logistical work, right?

-Mm-hmm.

-Yeah.

And we were wondering--

well, I was wondering--

if you would like

to join us.

Actually, it's the first time

I'm hearing about it.

I just--

i didn't mention it

'cause I didn't think

you'd be interested.

Well, how could I have

an interest if you

didn't tell me?

So, I'm glad

you're interested.

Oh, ye of little faith!

Okay, this--

this is really--

it's really--

it's truly a great event.

We have healers,

all sorts of healers,

and all sorts of

natural medicines and

methods and

i mean clinics

for any sort of problem

that you might have.

I mean, we've scoured

the whole country

and we've got the best.

It's a 10-day retreat

with the best.

Excuse me for a minute?

Oh, mm-hmm.

You know what I think.

I think this would just

be a great opportunity

for you to

open yourself up

and you wanted to look

and see for yourself.

You know,

if you're interested.

I'm not saying

I'm interested.

But I'm not saying

I'm not interested.

What I said was,

how could I be interested

if you never

brought it up?

See?

You're not interested.

No, that's not

what I'm saying.

I just need a little bit

more information

before I jump off

that bridge.

- Okay.

Yeah, I'll get it.

I'll get it.

Aw, sh*t.

Who is it?

Uh...

It's foxy.

Hi, foxy.

Where's your

motherfucking brother

and my child?

What are you talking about?

I haven't seen them.

If I told you--

damn liar.

I can tell, boy.

Don't play with me.

I swear to god,

i have not seen them.

If I heard from them,

i would tell you immed--

ah, sh*t.

-Baby!

-Mama!

Hey, hey, hey.

No fighting in front of--

shut your ass up, liar!

-Okay, everybody

stop it.

-Stop it.

-Liar. Shut up.

-Stop it.

Stop it.

What is going on?

Don't you people watch

the news around here? Damn!

Barbra kidnapped l.P.

Okay, let's just

all sit down

and talk this through

like adults.

Sit down.

I don't mean to intrude,

but perhaps I can be

of some help

if you need

a neutral mediator.

My name is

camilian daily

and I do energy healing.

-Oh.

-For problematic

crisis resolution.

You're the witch

doctor friend?

Shut your ass up.

Nobody asked you

if you thought

it was funny.

-Shut up.

-It is holistic healing.

Camilian's who helped me

with my thyroid.

No sh*t.

Oh yeah?

I could use some work.

My chi has been off

like a motherf***er,

you know what I'm saying?

You do tarot cards?

Hmm, I don't

really do tarot--

hey.

Where's l.P.?

My baby!

I didn't do it

this time.

Put it on speaker.

It's me, l.P.

I'm okay.

Cut the sh*t,

you snot nose.

Hey, this is snake.

If you want to see--

what do they call you, kid?

-L.P.

-L.P.?

- Yeah.

- -Like the vinyl?

What's that stand for?

Listen, this is snake.

If you ever want to see

d.P. Again--

no, l.P.!

If you want to see

the kid again,

l.P. Again, then you gotta

swap me for soldier boy

or else you, his mom,

and his papa-San

will never see

the kid again.

I know what's

going on, man.

You don't think

i don't watch the news?

Word on the street is

you snatched the kid up.

You go straight to

the pokey for that, man,

and then from there

to the chair.

So here's the deal, fucko.

You give me soldier boy

and everything's copacetic.

Then you can go back

to your copacetic,

cushy little life

with ol' mama Hitler.

Snake!

-Call the police.

-Yes!

No, wait.

You're not gonna call

the cops on me, are you?

Shut your ass up.

I'll say how to deal

with your ass later.

-Okay. Call 'em.

-Is he all right?

-Babs.

-Yes!

-Get some rope.

-Rope!

-You gonna tie him up?

-Yeah, if he wakes up

before the police get here,

he's gonna be mad as hell.

Guess you'd better

tie him up tight, then.

Operator,

i need the police.

And then I suggest we

do a relaxation exercise

to reset the energy

in the room.

I want my soldier boy

back, you son of a b*tch.

Keep quiet,

you baby snatcher.

Why don't you go outside

and clear your name with

the news reporters?

They still

think it was you.

Hell, I thought it was

you the whole time.

Part of me

still thinks it's you.

Yeah, well,

i didn't do it, so...

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