Sidewalks of New York Page #10

single thing that you just said.

Number one:

Lance is working my ass off at work.

So when I come home,

I'm just tired.

When I come home late, I come right

from the gym and I shower here...

...because you know I don't like

to shower in front of other men.

As far as the perfume goes,

I told you it was my cologne.

If you don't want me to wear it,

I'll get rid of it...

I'll never wear it again.

And as far as

the phone call goes...

I was probably talking to Harry

about his goddamn sex life...

...and I didn't wanna wake you up.

Then why, after six years

of marriage...

...are you suddenly so concerned

about the size of your penis?

I read that article.

I told you about the article I read

in the magazine, the men's magazine.

The average size

of the penis is, you know-

- Are you f***ing someone else?

- Stop with that question!

Some girl looking at your penis, and

you're wondering if it's big enough?

You never worried

about that with me.

I'm worried about it with you.

- You don't seem worried.

- I am worried.

If you were worried, then you'd

come home right after work...

...and not three hours later

and leave me here alone.

I'm doing penis exercises

at the gym.

That's really funny.

So you think that

everything seems normal?

I'm not saying

everything seems normal.

It seems like it is

what I just told you...

...which is, mostly I'm tired.

I won't go to the gym anymore.

I just won't.

Forget it.

I'll just come right home,

you know.

That's an indulgence I give myself

because it makes me feel better.

If you don't want me to do it,

I won't do it. It's fine.

- I'll wake up early and exercise.

- So are you happy?

Am I happy? I'm exhausted.

I'm exhausted,

but other than that I'm happy.

You're really happy?

I'm not saying

that I'm really happy.

But I'm saying

that I'm tired, you know.

Yeah. I'm tired too.

Is it love or sex that makes us

so confused in our relationships?

Well, I think that it's sex

because, you know...

...love is either there or it's not.

And I think sex

can be tricky sometimes.

Is it love or sex

that fucks us up?

Both.

Maybe it's the love of sex

that fucks us up.

I don't know.

I'm not screwed up.

I think people have a problem

mixing up the two together...

...and mistaking one for the other.

I don't have that problem.

I don't know.

I'm Catholic, so probably sex.

What are you doin' here?

- Hi.

- How you doin'?

How are you?

I'm good, I'm good.

- What do you got there?

- I heard it was good.

Yeah. It's great.

He's a terrific writer.

Is everything all right?

You seem a little down.

No, I just have

a lot on my mind.

- Can I ask you a personal question?

- Yeah, sure.

You've had a long-term

girlfriend, right?

Yeah.

Did you ever cheat on her?

No. No, not really.

What do you mean, "not really"?

Either you did or you didn't, right?

Well...

...define, you know, cheating.

Having sex with someone

other than your girlfriend.

You mean sex, like in-

...like penetration?

So you may have kissed somebody...

...but you didn't actually have sex

with them, or intercourse?

No, we definitely

did not have intercourse...

...but we did kiss, so-

Well, in my book,

that is cheating.

Look, in my book too.

I'm sorry it

ever happened, but-

Why did you do it? Were you

not attracted to her anymore?

Look, I don't think people cheat...

...because they're not attracted

to somebody anymore.

You cheat because you're not in love

anymore. That's why you cheat.

I think my husband

is having an affair.

Jesus.

Why do you think that?

Little things.

Little things like what?

Coming home late.

A suspicious weekend meeting

out of town.

Late-night phone calls

where I hear him whispering.

One time he came home,

he smelled like perfume.

He said it was his new cologne.

And you only think

he's having an affair?

I confronted him, and he denied it.

But he can be very convincing.

Are you even happy

with this guy?

No.

Then why stay with him?

Even if he wasn't cheating on you,

why stay in an unhappy marriage?

My parents got a divorce

when I was a kid...

...and I never forgave them for not

trying harder to stay together.

I didn't wanna be like them,

to be that kind of person.

I think you gotta

give yourself a break.

It's not your fault

your husband's a scumbag.

I'm sorry to say that,

but if he's cheating on you, he is.

I'm sure there's thousands of guys

who would die to go out with you.

If you divorce this prick,

you call me that day.

I'll jump on a plane no matter

where I am in the country.

I'll fly back here.

I'll take you out that night.

So you think I should go

from an unfaithful husband...

...to a guy who thinks that kissing

a girl other than his girlfriend...

...is not considered cheating?

It's not like

I'm defending those actions.

I know that that was

a scumbag thing to do.

- Do you think you'd do it again?

- I know I wouldn't.

I felt lousy when it happened.

I was just being honest with you.

Well, you know...

...in my book, even talking

like this is inappropriate...

...so I should get going.

- All right. I understand.

- Thank you for listening, though.

I'll see you next time we get

an apartment to look at.

Bye.

Sometimes I think

I'm really a priss.

My friends don't think

cheating is such a big deal.

And I think maybe I'm

too uptight in my views.

But then I think, you know...

...these people would not be that

deceitful to one of their friends.

People cheat 'cause they're afraid.

The world is run by fear,

my friend. Fear.

Everybody out here, they're afraid.

That guy's afraid. You're afraid.

I'm gonna tell you something

that my dad told me...

...after I got divorced

from my first wife...

...who was absolutely,

you know, gorgeous.

He said, "Show me

a good-looking woman...

I'll show you a guy

who's tired of f***ing her. "

Men and women are very different

when it comes to sex.

Men seem to think that it's an

impossibility to be with one person.

Probably because they're pigs.

This is a married girl

you're talking about.

Why would you even fool around

with something like that?

- I got a good feeling about it.

- You got a good feeling about it.

Oh, boy. I get a good feeling

about almost every girl that I see.

It's different. There's something

kind of sad about her.

It's like this wounded bird

you want to take care of.

Really? Is that right?

Excuse me, but who the hell are you

to be taking care of anybody?

If I'm not mistaken, you're

still living in my apartment...

...and you're in no position

to take care of somebody.

Tommy, you're not a savior.

And I'm sure this chick

don't need or want your saving.

Look, I mean, it's not like

I was hitting on her.

I was talking to her,

and it felt good. I just-

I want you to trust me

on something.

I'm gonna speak

from experience here.

I am as big a dog

as there is, okay?

But it is not a good idea

to fool around with married women.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes