Sidewalks of New York Page #4

keep it restricted to hotel rooms.

Because we talk a little bit,

we have sex, and then I go.

And...

I guess I never really

have to get to know her because-

That's actually kind of sad,

I guess, but, you know-

What am I gonna do?

I'm married.

Are you guys really moving?

Yeah, you don't want to-

This is a beautiful city.

- Why live anywhere else?

- I'm not saying I dislike the city.

I'm saying I'm

a tad burned out on it.

I need a little nature

now and again.

Central Park isn't cutting

the mustard for him anymore.

Perhaps it's because

I've turned 40.

I'm experiencing this enormous void

in my life. It needs to be filled.

Hello! I got a void right here

that needs to be filled.

You don't seem too concerned

with that.

A little tact, please.

Must you reduce everything

into a conversation about sex?

- I'm sorry. You're right, honey.

- Thank you.

I just thought if I talked about it,

I might get some once in a while.

So has Grizzly Adams here

explained to you...

...how he plans to fill this void?

I've purchased some land upstate.

I'm building a log cabin on it.

You're going to build

a log cabin?

From scratch. Just me, the logs

and some cutting tools.

When I'm finished, I'll retire there

and live out the rest of my days.

- You're gonna retire at age 40?

- Why not?

That's a little extreme.

Tell 'em about the tepee that

I'm gonna sleep in when I visit.

This is good.

Have you heard of the expression,

"Firewood warms you twice.

Once when you cut it

and once when you burn it"?

I'll take half that action.

My point is simply

that I'm looking forward...

...to getting in touch with nature.

I'd give you a week

outside of Manhattan...

...without your little Sunday Times

and box seats at Shea.

- Please.

- Oh, look. She's drunk again.

Harry, I know what you're saying.

I feel the void.

What are you talking about?

Since when do you feel the void?

I've felt it for a while now.

We all focus on the wrong things,

like clothes, money...

...diet, stupid crap.

You think of our grandparents going

through wars and the Depression.

They had to think about where

was their next meal coming from...

...could they afford

to keep the apartment heated...

...who's gonna pay for the doctor

when someone got sick.

They were miserable.

They had a reason to be, whereas we,

on the other hand, don't.

I totally agree with you, Annie.

You're so full of sh*t!

His parents grew up

on Park Avenue.

Once again,

she misses the point completely.

- Oh, wow.

- I'm sorry.

My name's Annie Matthews,

and I'm 29.

I grew up on the Upper East Side

of Manhattan.

I feel very frustrated with

my friends and my life recently.

We live in such a cushy society.

We have no real threats or problems.

So we obsess on these

silly little things.

We create problems, especially

sexual, and I think it's pathetic.

Almost everyone I know

is obsessed...

...with their sexuality

and their sexual life.

All this thinking about it

can't be healthy.

If you just look at the television,

movies, advertising, Internet...

I mean, everyone is just obsessed.

They spend all their time thinking,

talking about their sexual lives.

What would you rather, then,

talk about?

Well, I don't know.

I think there could be deeper things

people could talk about...

...like having a family

and sticking together...

...through good times

and bad times.

But it's always, like,

"He's insensitive" or "She's cold. "

Who really gives a sh*t

about how many orgasms-

...how many orgasms you can have?

Who cares about love anymore?

Doesn't anyone care about that?

Christ!

That was a lot of fun.

I guarantee you those two

will be divorced within the month.

Why do you say that?

They've always talked like that.

Harry talking that crap

about his cabin and his void?

The only void that he has is that

he wants to f*** other women.

Why do you say that?

Are you guys such great friends

that he'd confide in you about that?

We've had drinks together.

He starts to drink too much

and he starts to talk.

What are you saying?

Has he cheated on her?

I don't know specifics, but I do

know that one time we went out...

...and he was drinking

and talking...

...to this young bimbo.

He left with her. If anything

happened after that, I don't know.

How could you not tell me

about this earlier?

How can I-

Harry's a friend of mine.

- Since when? I introduced you.

- What does that mean?

Harry can't be my friend too?

No, he can, but your loyalty

should be to Hilary...

...because you knew her first.

You wanna know the truth?

I never liked Hilary.

I don't blame Harry for getting

a little something on the side.

That is so disgusting!

She is my best friend.

Secondly, they're married.

You think that's acceptable behavior

for him to get some on the side?

That's not what I'm saying, but we

have talked about his sex life.

Frankly, she is not

the warmest person.

She is not the most giving, okay?

So a guy like that,

he gets his load on...

...and he wants to find a little

warmth and kindness somewhere else.

Warmth and kindness?

That's f***ing gross.

Let me ask you a question-

if our sex life wasn't great...

...how would you feel if I sought out

kindness from some young stud?

But you would never do that, so-

That is not the f***ing point.

You're not as affectionate

as you used to be...

...but does that give me the right

to cheat on you?

Why are we having

this conversation?

Can we calm down? It's idiocy.

Let's change the subject.

I don't think it's idiocy to talk

about fidelity and monogamy...

...with the person

you're married to.

If our sex life wasn't great,

would you talk to me about it...

...so we could work on it?

- Or would you just have an affair?

- Have an affair?

Why would you ever think

I would do such a thing?

Maybe because you cheated

on your first wife.

Okay, all right. That's true.

But it was different

because I didn't love her.

I love you,

so it's totally different.

Look, why do you

compare me to Harry?

Harry's a shark.

This is a guy who goes out

and cheats hardworking people...

...out of their hard-earned money

every day of his life.

That's his job.

That's what he does.

You marry a guy like that...

...who's a scumbag in his job,

he's a scumbag in life.

What do I do for a living?

I'm a dentist.

Honey, I can't believe you're-

I'm sorry about what I said

about Hilary before. I am.

I know she's your best friend.

It was very insensitive.

I'm telling you, just don't ever

f***ing cheat on me, okay?

Okay.

I can't believe we're even having

this conversation. It's so silly.

My first wife-

Her name was Sara.

And, yeah, I cheated on her.

We were married three years,

then I started cheating on her.

It wasn't because we weren't

having a good sex life. We were.

It was just

that I have a very...

European outlook on marriage.

I don't necessarily

believe in monogamy.

I love my wife,

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