Sideways Page #32

MILES:

Stephanie! Stop!

STEPHANIE:

You f***ing bastard! Lying piece of

sh*t! You're getting married on

Saturday? What was all that sh*t you

said to me?

JACK:

I can explain.

STEPHANIE:

You said you loved me! You f***! I

hope you die!

With that she backs away. Glancing at her bloodied helmet,

she tosses it onto the pavement before getting on her bike.

STEPHANIE:

Fuckface!

(to Miles)

You too!

As she speeds away, Miles is left to comfort his wounded

friend. The lion lies nearby, staring blankly at the sky.

INT./EXT. SAAB - DAY

Seated in the passenger seat and in great agony, Jack presses

a BLOOD-SOAKED TOWEL against his face.

MILES:

Aren't you glad you didn't move up

here and marry her?

JACK:

Don't need a lecture. You f***ing

told Maya, didn't you?

MILES:

No, I did not. Must have been Gary

at the Hitching Post. I think we

mentioned it to him the first night.

JACK:

You told him. I'm f***ing hurting

here.

MILES:

Keep it elevated.

INT. HOSPITAL ER WAITING ROOM - DAY

CLOSE ON A COSMOPOLITAN open to an article titled "24 Ways

To Please Your Man."

WIDER --

Miles reads, while nearby a YOUNG BOY dry-heaves into a

garbage can held by his FATHER. An OLD WOMAN parked in a

wheelchair faces the wall.

LATER --

Miles is at a PAYPHONE. As he speaks he tries to peel off

the metal LONG DISTANCE STICKER.

MAYA (ON THE PHONE)

Hi. It's Maya. Please leave a message.

MILES:

It's Miles. Listen, I don't know if

you even care, but I had to call and

tell you again how much I enjoyed

our time together and how sorry I am

things turned out the way they did.

I think you're great, Maya -- always

have. From the first time you waited

on me.

(bracing himself)

And while I'm at it, I guess you

should know that my book is not

getting published. I thought this

one had a chance, but I was wrong.

Again. Don't bother reading it --

you've got better things to do. So

you see I'm not much of a writer.

I'm not anything really. The only

real talent I seem to have is for

disappointing people and now you

know that firsthand. We're leaving

in the morning, and I want you to

know that I take with me wonderful

memories of you. I'm sorry. I'm really

sorry.

What else to say? He hangs up.

He returns to his seat. A moment later he extends his legs

to look at his new SHOES now STAINED WITH WINE.

LATER --

Jack emerges unsteadily from the bowels of the emergency

room, his face purple and swollen beneath the HUGE WHITE

BANDAGE that holds the NOSEGUARD in place. Miles walks with

him toward the exit.

MILES:

Well?

JACK:

I'm going to need an operation. Maybe

a couple of them. They have to wait

for it it to heal first. Then they

break it again.

MILES:

Good thing you have a voice-over

career.

JACK:

Gonna f*** that up too. I should sue

her ass. Only reason I won't is to

protect Christine.

MILES:

That's thoughtful.

JACK:

(disgusted)

Yeah.

They walk by us and out the door.

EXT. STREET IN SOLVANG - DAY

Jack sits in the Saab's passenger side with the seat almost

fully reclined. When his agony allows him to open his eyes,

he glares at the DANISH THEMED STORES lining the street. An

ABELSKIVER MAKER plies his lofty trade in a nearby window.

He hears a strange CLOMPING NOISE and turns his head to see

a MAN IN WOODEN CLOGS walking noisily down the street, dressed

in a TRADITIONAL DANISH COSTUME and carrying a TUBA. Jack

takes a slug of wine.

Just then Miles gets back in the car.

JACK:

I hate this place.

Miles tears open a paper bag and removes a bottle of pills.

A closer angle reveals them as VICODIN.

MILES:

Take a couple of these, and you'll

learn to love it.

Miles opens the bottle and hands Jack two PILLS.

MILES:

Two for you. And two for me.

Jack washes down the pills and passes the bottle to Miles,

who follows suit.

EXT. WINDMILL INN JACUZZI - EVENING

Jack and Miles sit across from each other. For the first

time we see LARGE PURPLE BRUISES on Jack's arms and chest.

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