Sideways Page #33

JACK:

So how did Stephanie know it was

Saturday? We didn't get into that

with Gary.

MILES:

Huh. Let me think.

JACK:

You sure you didn't say anything to

Maya?

MILES:

Sure I'm sure. And just what are you

implying? I'm really pissed off at

you about all this, if you want to

know the truth. What's Maya going to

think of me now just for associating

with you? You're the one who's

sabotaging me, not the other way

around, pal. Not by a longshot.

Jack takes a long lie-detecting look at Miles.

JACK:

I don't know. Just seems fishy.

INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

The boys lie on their respective beds staring at the TV.

Jack gets up and lumbers slowly to the dresser MIRROR like a

large dog who has just been neutered.

JACK:

What's it look like to you?

MILES:

Looks like you were in a bad car

accident.

Jack turns to Miles, nodding and thinking. Then he looks

back in the mirror.

JACK:

I'm hungry.

EXT. A.J. SPURS BARBECUE - NIGHT

Establishing. Thursday night is Cajun Wings Night.

INT. A.J. SPURS BARBECUE - NIGHT

Miles and Jack are finishing their SALADS in the rustic-

themed restaurant festooned with animal trophies.

JACK:

You know what I'm thinking?

MILES:

What's that?

JACK:

I'm thinking it's time to settle

down. One woman. One house. You know.

It's time.

MILES:

Uh-huh.

Jack nods his head with no self-awareness or acknowledgment

of the irony.

NOW TWO PLATES ARRIVE

mounded high with ribs, slaw, beans and butter-whipped mashed

potatoes.

JACK:

Mm. Mm.

Their cheery, saftig blonde WAITRESS removes several FOIL

PACKETS from her apron and places them on the table.

WAITRESS:

And here're your Handi-wipes.

JACK:

Oh, so that's what those are? For a

second there I thought you guys were

promoting safe sex.

The waitress OVER-LAUGHS and swipes a hand at her naughty

customer.

WAITRESS:

I'll be right back with more corn

bread.

Jack watches her go and leans in close to Miles.

JACK:

I bet you that chick is two tons of

fun. You know, the grateful type.

MILES:

I don't know. I wouldn't know.

Now she comes back toward the table carrying a BIG BASKET.

Beneath the hideous uniform, her nylons SH-SH-SH as she walks.

When she arrives, she replenishes their corn bread basket

using big TONGS. Jack watches attentively.

JACK:

Nice technique there...

(checking her name

tag)

...Cammi.

CAMMI:

It's all in the wrist.

(a moment later)

You know, you look really familiar.

You from around here? Where'd you go

to high school?

JACK:

No, we're from San Diego. Why?

CAMMI:

I don't know. You just seem really

familiar to me. Never mind. Enjoy

your meals.

JACK:

Hang on. Did you ever know a Derek

Sommersby?

CAMMI:

Doctor Derek Sommersby? You mean

from "One Life to Live"?

Miles looks away and sighs.

JACK:

You have to imagine him with a bandage

and shorter hair.

As Cammi stares at Jack, her face transforms in astonishment.

CAMMI:

No. Way. No way!

Jack smiles and nods.

CAMMI:

Oh, my God!

MILES:

Could you tell me where the bathroom

is?

CAMMI:

(her eyes barely

leaving Jack)

Uh, sure, it's right over there,

right past the buffalo.

IN A WIDE SHOT --

Miles gets up and heads toward the bathroom as Jack's

flirtation with Cammi continues.

The camera PANS with Miles as he walks by us and goes through

the bathroom door, which closes behind him, filling the frame

with the word "MEN."

LATER --

A TOOTHPICK DISPENSER as a finger tips it forward to dispense

one.

WIDER --

Miles stands by the cash register and PICKS HIS TEETH as he

watches Jack finish speaking with Cammi and head his way.

JACK:

She gets off in an hour, so I think

I'm just going to have a drink and

then... make sure she gets home safe.

Rate this script:4.8 / 5 votes