Simon Page #3

I pulled myself together...

... to confess to Simon

the day he returned.

At first I planned to move away.

I wasn't afraid, but ashamed.

Fear came second.

A beating would have been cleansing.

Should I congratulate you

or rip your head off?

It's not worth congratulations.

Nice, aren't they, the girls?

How's the parasite?

You caught one, didn't you?

You was to undercut me 3000?

That was the last time I saw Simon.

Then I moved away because

I started a relationship, with a guy.

Four more moves and

six relationships later...

I'd almost forgotten all about him.

What are you doing?!

There are little kids around here.

Just lost ten points. Queers

count double. Cool pimpmobile!

- Really? Well I think it's got class.

- Yeah.

I'm just teasing.

You're still with us?

Yes. You too?

Barely. I have cancer.

So I hadn't seen him

for years, until now.

You want to see him again?

I'm not sure it would be much fun.

Especially as he's so sick.

"Fun" is no criterion here?

- You came to see Simon?

- Yes. See you later.

Later.

Simon?

Been a long time, no?

- A day...

- Aside from yesterday.

About, what, eight years or so?

14 years.

- Really?

- Yep.

Guess so.

Kids weren't living here yet.

Something to drink?

I've got tea. Or tea.

- Tea, then.

- Tea it is.

So, your kids live here?

Yeah.

My "ex" did a summersault

with her jetski. Dead.

So I made a deal with their grandpa

that I'd take the kids.

They do have more chances here.

They can always find their roots

if they want.

Is that still the same parrot?

Just hitting puberty.

That clown will bother

my great grand-children!

Still have that coffee shop?

Got a few now, actually.

Got the beach bar, too.

And a few other things.

Perfect, man.

This music drives me mad.

I'll put something else on.

Princess Buttercup. Beauty, ain't she?

Except for her flat feet.

She's taking her exams this year.

If she passes, I'll buy her a car.

This is Camiel.

An old friend of mine.

He came to Thailand

when you were a brat.

- Will you pass your exams?

- Maybe, maybe not.

I can wait for the car.

I don't have a license anyway...

Cute, eh? She couldn't give a

flying turd about those tests.

- "Ain't got a license."

- Hasn't got a license...

Your brains came

from my seed, you know.

Don't get smart.

Why must you act like that?

Kettle's boiling.

- So?

- I'll make tea, you old bag.

Yeah, go make Pop some tea.

- So you're glad you went?

- Yes.

And the woman in question?

The other sensitive issue...

I'll see her tomorrow,

come what may...

Keep up the flossing, Tina,

or you'll never get a guy.

But seriously, when you start the chemo,

you'll be as sick as your dad was.

They have extra cots,

we could stay over sometimes.

And what would your worser half say?

He'd understand.

We can take turns with Joy, Marco...

I could take a turn.

Mom, can I get something

with my own money?

Jesus, Bruce! You and

that conniving head of yours!

Can I get an ice cream?

If I could squeeze you back

into Daddy's dick...

How are you two?

Do you see each other often?

She's married, she is.

Married to that Tubbs a**hole!

- Get out!

- Get out yourself?

We'd just broken up when Tubbs'

sidekick went splat trying to hang-glide.

So she had to comfort him,

the fake Kunta Kinte.

She and her ass are in lipstick now.

At least she's politically correct:

First a Jew, then a gay, then a brother.

Just a Turk and a dyke

and she'll get the Nobel Prize!

What's the next step in treatment?

Chemo soon.

If it doesn't work, that's it.

How do the kids react?

The girl is 20 and understands, but...

...the boy, I'm not sure what he

understands. I told him I was sick.

I don't even know myself.

I'm not counting on anything.

The treatment could work.

Strange isn't it, to be completely

dependent on cell division.

First you think only famous people die.

Dropping like flies.

I let you sleep in. Your breath

really stinks when you're asleep.

Get that molar looked at, Bram.

As if you swallowed a rotten skunk.

Not you, my boyfriend here.

Open, please.

Simon wants to come for brunch.

But he doesn't eat meat.

No, no human flesh either...

I only deal in real estate.

Selling at a profit.

Some days I may turn over a hundred or

150 doors, from one to the next.

By "doors" he means houses.

I'm not a retard, Huckleberry.

We're getting married, you know.

Middle class, eh?

Marriage?

You want to do that?

We're ready to make

a commitment.

We feel the need...

...to confirm things.

It's a tax break too.

And Camiel's up for a good party.

Yeah, living together is one thing, but if

you marry, people will think you're fags!

Only joking, Bram. That's just me.

Woodpecker over there knows.

- He called everyone "Neighbor".

- I still do.

But now it's more Woodpecker.

An extremely mood-upgrading bird.

Funny.

I came here a lot,

with my father.

He was in one of those science-fiction

things. Irradiated his family jewels.

Your mother, did she have

the same illness?

Yeah, but in her womb.

I didn't know about it.

I was younger than Nelson is.

- Here you are, nurse.

- Thank you, one moment.

Yes indeed, nurse.

All this suffering.

Imagine working here.

You like school?

You ask a child:
"Do you like school?"

- Try a more original line.

- Sorry.

You fall for big, hairy blond men?

Who cares,

as long as they don't have a ponytail.

It's weird. Simon being on a drip.

They must have started.

Wasn't it strange, to be brought

from Thailand as a little girl?

Or don't you remember?

At first I couldn't understand anything.

I do recall being in the car from

the airport and passing a power plant.

We passed some chimneys

belching smoke.

Look. A cloud factory.

That's where they make clouds.

This puff-head cheats!

You can beat an old fart

without cheating.

Take it easy, smurf.

You beat me by a hair.

- The difference will only get bigger.

- You think so?

Do you like school?

What's so funny,

Betty Boobless?

Donald Dickless.

Give that to me.

Give it to me, sweetie.

So we've decorated our whole house

according to feng shui.

- Feng Shui?

- You know what it is?

Yeah, it's total nonsense.

He's so innocent when he's sleeping.

I use porcelain.

It has a metal base,

so it's as sturdy as metal.

Porcelain is beautiful,

you don't even notice it's there.

Maybe that will be my next project.

I already had my tits done.

- It was the first thing I saw.

- Oh really?

I'm very happy with them.

Why did you and Simon

break up in the end?

Did what happened between us

in any way contribute to it?

No...

There were other things...

F***! Bummer...

Don't.

I did. I kicked her right off his knob.

That's how it goes...

Look, a man doing it doesn't give,

he takes. That's different.

That conniving head of yours!

Why hit the hockey chick?

You're lucky she didn't sue you.

She should keep her hands off my guy.

You had others before me.

And during as well.

Eight, nine at least...

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