Sliding Doors Page #4

surprise and a ruthless efficiency

I'll come in again

Here we go

Pass me your plate

How do you do, Nigel?

Very nice to meet you

You all right?

I am deadly serious

Oh, just set up my own PR company?

Yeah, well, why not?

You've got the experience...

the know-how, the contacts

You want to spend the rest of

your life working for other people?

Hey, what's the worst

that could possibly happen?

Um, I could fail miserably

and look like a complete tosser

Exactly, so what is there

to worry about?

I had a really nice time, James

Did you? Oh, sh*t. Sorry,

that's against the rules, isn't it?

Yes, it is, so just bear that

in mind in the future, would you?

I'm getting over a major break-up

Yeah, sorry... Won't happen again

Goodnight, Helen

Hey... you know everything happens

for the best

You'll never know if you don't try

Wear something warm on Saturday...

Can get cold on the river

Take care

So, what other ideas has James

run by you?

Anna, don't do that. Don't do

'desperate mother' acting with me

He's a friend. Okay? A friend

not remotely in him

No

So how come last night was the first night

since you've been here... you didn't ask

if anyone had called

the second you walked in the door?

You're sorry?

You're sorry that four of the staff

here have been cut down... with food poisoning

after eating your sandwiches?

And before you speak, yes...

...they all had the same sandwiches

and the same symptoms at the same time

Are you trained

in the catering trade, may I ask?

No, actually I worked in PR

but I...

Well, you're not doing a particularly good

PR job this morning, are you?

Luckily for you I've convinced my

colleagues not to take the matter any further

This time

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have five people's work to do

Sorry?

Helen has been delivering

sandwiches to your office?

Yes... And today I had reason

to summon her

Well I made up a reason,

to be brutally honest

She's quite pretty in a British

horsey sort of way, isn't she?

Lydia... what are you playing at?

Have you gone raving mad?

She's not bloody stupid, you know

I wanted to see what the woman

you ditched me for is like

Now, now, now, now wait a sec.

Now I did not ditch you for...

I mean, you went back

to America for...

I wanted to see what this girl you seem

to have no intention of leaving...

despite the occasional pre-orgasmic

suggestion that you are...

...has that is so unleavable

And I have to say that I ended our

brief meeting at a bit of a loss

Now, Lydia, don't talk like this.

Now it sounds ugly

Now I've told you before,

I cannot leave Helen for... for...

you know

For me?

Is that what

you're trying say?

You can't leave her for me?

Well, you haven't said

you wanted that, have you?

Gerry, I'm a woman

We don't say what we want.

But we reserve the right to

be pissed off if we don't get it

That's what makes us so fascinating

And not a little bit scary

Hello?

Ah, Gerald Flannigan, at last

This is your kindly

Uncle Russell here

Listen...

...wherever you were tonight as if

we need to ask, you weren't with me

Helen called here looking for you

Okay

Yeah, all right

Okay, thanks, mate. Bye

Oh, thank God, I was so worried.

Where have you been?

I went to Anna's.

I needed to see a friendly face

I've had a horrible day

I met Cruella de Ville's

less nice sister this morning...

...she completely deflated me

I know

How do you know?

Oh, no, I mean I can tell.

Jesus, you look terrible

Where were you earlier?

I really needed to talk to you

Oh, I had some stuff to read up on

so I went to the library

God, you're always at the library

I'm sich of waiting on tables

I know when you finish the book

we'll be millionaires but...

...when are you going to finish it?

I'm going to finish it

very soon, Helen

Very soon

Helen, there's something

I want to tell you

I need to tell you

Er... it's a little bit to do

with the... brandy glass and, er...

...a little bit to do with

that woman... you met today

Only... please let me finish

before you say anything

Okay?

Helen?

Bollocks

Come on, James!

Come on, come on!

Come on, come on!

That's really weird

I knew there'd be a boat race going

by with purple and white shirts

Sorry?

Why hasn't he asked you to

go with him to Dorset?

He has... I've got to work

Anyway it'll be good for him

to get away. We need a bit of space

Anna, can I ask you

a daft question?

Did you drop a glass

in the laundry basket at our party?

Sounds like a ridiculous thing

to do. It was almost certainly me

Are you okay?

Just going quietly mad

Thank God for that. I was worried

Faster

And to my left...

And to my right...

And with my left...

And with my right...

And with the 'head'...

Father Abraham 'head'

had seven sons, head', 'head'

Seven sons had

Father Abraham 'head'

Are you sure

it's just writer's block?

I mean, you seem so distant

I'm here, Gerry, if you need

to talk to me about anything

Hey, that's Helen in there

Look, she's got blonde hair

There's loads of them... having some

kind of sponsored epileptic fit

Lydia

Maybe it isn't writer's block

at all, Gerry

Maybe it's Helen block

I don't want to hear about Helen.

I don't care about Helen

The trouble is...

you do quite clearly

I just thought of

a great finish for your book!

The End!

Yes, you are, Clive

He's opening his first restaurant

in six days...

...and he's completely disorganised

Well, you know at my old company we had 'wars '

getting Pierre Claude's restaurant open

You did Pierre Claude?

Mmm

Er, he's my hero. You did his launch?

Well I heard that was a really

classy do. People went on about it

I mean, six days is...

...could I come down

and take a look?

I can't promise anything stupendous

Sure, yeah. Yeah, no problem...

You're kidding?

Yeah, come down

Pierre Claude? Oh, wow!

You're very thoughtful, James.

You give out an incredible amount

Oh, you're the same.

You encouraged me today

I saw you jumping up

and down like a mad thing

Spurred me on

I love this bridge. My great

grandfather helped to build it

I often come and... stand on it

when I want to, um...

Build a bridge?

I'm sorry

Oh God, James, don't

Oh... I'm sorry. I, I...

...I know this is an ideal sort

of kissing moment...

...you know, night, moon, boat,

water lapping...

...you know, it's, um... i

t's perfect and I'm...

...I'm not feeling that

it would be nice...

...but I don't really know anything

about you and I'm...

...I'm still on the rebound

Oh God, I hate that word but I am

Ah, who isn't? Everyone is

I'm on the rebound myself...

in a way...

So, who are you

on the rebound from?

A girl called Pamela

My whole life pivots around.

Pam and I breaking up

When was that?

I bloody loved that woman

No warning, just up gone...

left me for somebody else

Who?

Gary Glitter!

The cow

Gary Glitter, for crying out loud!

I mean all my friends were being left for

Donny Osmond or David Cassidy or...

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