Small Soldiers Page #5

We must go behind enemy lines

to secure a hostage. Prepare to move out.

Hop it, jarheads!

I guess you guys are safe

as long as you stay here.

What are you looking for?

Gorgon.

This is a national park.

The Isle of Gorgon is our homeland.

Will you help us find it?

I don't think you will find it in there.

Alan...

...if Gorgon is not in that window,

is it in this one?

There's nothing in windows.

There's stuff outside them.

What stuff?

You know, outside.

Trees, power poles...

...Christy's house.

And beyond that?

The mall.

And beyond that?

The highway.

And beyond that?

About a million acres of farm.

And what's beyond that?

I don't know.

Gorgon.

Live, via satellite, 257 channels.

Closed captioning

for the hearing impaired...

...and Dolby stereo where available,

which is right here, right now!

What a great picture. It's perfect.

I don't know. It looks kind of fuzzy.

Let me try something else.

Oh, for pete's sake! Phil!

Maybe if I tweak the brightness a little.

No, it's the chroma.

The flesh tone's way off.

Now it's green.

Stand down, men.

We must neutralize these civilians.

I paid a lot. I don't want any ghosts.

Follow me.

It's a trap, sir.

Bring it here, soldier.

Chemical warfare.

Operation Sandman.

Fire when ready, Private.

Audie Murphy.

Our most decorated war hero.

I think World War II was my favorite war.

No sign of the target, sir. Area is secured.

Don't worry. She'll be here.

This is where we'll engage the target.

Set up concealed positions

and prepare for ambush.

Oh, man.

I can't believe they got me the whole set.

Hold your fire, men.

Cool, you can talk.

You must be the leader.

Except one day, you get shot.

And this guy gets promoted...

...and now he's the leader. Yes!

It wasn't my idea, Major.

Commandos, attack!

Pile on the kid!

Son, you can be a prisoner or a casualty.

It's up to you.

Sir, over here.

Oh, man, I hate babysitting.

- What is it, soldier?

- Take a look, sir.

Bombshells, sir.

Fully posable.

Hello, dolly!

Sweet stuff!

Hubba-hubba.

R and R, sir?

Request a 3-day pass, sir.

Denied. Gentlemen, this is the new army.

Those are reinforcements.

Bring me the head of Nick Nitro. Move.

Soldier, your memory will live on.

Damn!

Criminy!

I think I'm gonna hurl.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

It's alive! It's alive!

Hi, there. Cannon Fodder Gwendy,

reporting for duty, sir.

Carry on, soldier.

I feel your pain.

Alan...

...the Commando Elite are in the trees.

They're not moving

because of the Commandos.

It's the wind.

See?

I see your hand.

The wind is blowing. You can feel it.

Feel?

Right. Plastic. Sorry.

It's kind of hard to describe.

Weather patterns, wind chill factor.

Just because you can't see it,

doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

See?

Wind.

Mom? Dad? I'm home.

They're asleep.

- You know what that means?

- They could wake up any second.

You know, you are such a major hottie.

And you are such a major sweet talker.

Good night.

My bike won't start. I got nowhere to go.

Can I come in?

No, that's not it.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Let's do something fun.

We'll all get facials.

Did I overpluck my eyebrows?

Now it's our turn to play with you.

Let's see if her head comes off.

Christy?

Look. A man. Alley-oop.

Such nice broad shoulders.

Do you work out?

What's your sign, big boy?

Makeovers are such a blast.

That haircut is so five minutes ago.

Are you dumping me?

Get off!

You! Maggot!

An officer and a gentleman

does not strike a lady.

Are you scared?

We're all scared.

You'd have to be crazy not to be scared.

What?

What do you see?

Ocula? Are you all right?

Settle down. You'll be okay.

"Surrender?"

Smile, girlie.

"Alan, I'm safe. I have not been harmed."

Christy?

"I am making this statement of my

own free will and under no duress."

- Yeah, right.

- Stick to the script. Read it as we wrote it.

Make it snappy.

"I will be released safely and unharmed...

"...only if the following conditions are met:

"One:
Surrender the Gorgonite scum."

That's it.

Faster, or we stick you.

Alan, you have to help.

Zoom in. Get those tears.

What else is on?

If Major Chip Hazard wants a war,

we'll give him a war.

Please, Alan, don't do this.

- We're afraid.

- We're your friends.

- Have mercy.

- You are a traitor.

Hi. Welcome to the big cardboard box.

We'll never see Gorgon again.

- Alan seemed so nice.

- Why would he do this to us?

Three words, folks. Pu-ber-ty.

Enemy contact.

Advance with caution. Roll!

Sorry, sir.

How could you betray us? We're free.

- Have mercy.

- The Commandos will kill us.

Gentlemen, it looks like they blinked.

Advance and envelop.

Sir! Yes, sir!

Alan, I'm feeling very insecure.

I'm allergic to cardboard. Pass it on.

Are you ready, Archer?

Alan, are you sure this is a good idea?

You traitor.

- We must be free.

- I don't feel well.

Alan, don't do it. You'll be guilt-ridden.

My aunt was buried alive.

I'm very claustrophobic.

Rock and roll!

I love this job!

Are you all right?

All my make-up is cruelty-free.

You come here often?

Will you take me to the prom?

If you can't accessorize, pulverize.

You've been a bad boy.

Now you must be punished.

Watch out, girls. Hissy fit.

You're to die for.

Run! She's got a baton!

It's a baton death march.

She's gone postal!

Oh, I broke a nail.

I've always hated these things!

The humanity!

This is it, men.

Commandos, the enemy has deployed

a decoy target.

Return to primary positions.

This is fun!

You're killing me!

You rescued me.

Anytime.

Let's go get those creeps.

We have to wake my parents.

Open fire!

We have the enemy on the run.

Exploit and pursue.

- You've done this before.

- Once or twice.

Watch it.

You watch it.

We got to get help.

Anyone got a garage door opener?

Commandos, attack!

Time to plant the corn.

Expect no mercy, Gorgonite ally!

I'll get the bike.

Get on! Hurry!

Hot pursuit!

Interlock!

Right side, lock! Left side, lock!

Ramming speed!

Hold on!

They're toast.

You think I could drive home?

Good idea.

- Your kid kidnapped my daughter...

- Uh, oh.

...tied up my son and drugged me

and my wife. Marion is still tripping!

Time to hide again.

Not to mention the damage to my house.

We have lost the battle.

We will not lose the war.

That's the last of them.

I think that's all of Friday's delivery.

Why did they want it back?

You know the clowns

that make these decisions.

They don't care we're standing around

freezing, in the middle of the night...

...as long as everyone knows

who's in charge.

Corporations.

Right hand doesn't know

what the left hand is screwing up.

Greetings. You've been drafted.

Move!

Is this entire household insane?

He says that toy is alive

just because it moves a little.

What's next? The Blue Fairy

drops by with a talking cricket?

He's telling the truth!

He's brainwashed you, hasn't he?

Don't worry, honey. We'll get you

the best deprogrammer money can buy.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes