Small Time Crooks Page #2

I was running numbers.

You were an exotic dancer. We fell

in love, your parents didn't approve.

I tried to go legit. I couldn't

make a go of the pet cemetery.

What do you want me to do?

But, but...

Frenchy, this pizza place is

Just waiting for us.

It's gonna look suspicious, a group

of guys drilling in an empty store.

That's where you come in.

You front the place.

- What?

- You front it. You make pizzas.

With what?

I can't cook pizzas.

Cook cookies!

What's the difference?

Or you tell fortunes. You look like

a Gypsy. Or make it a travel agency.

You work there, and we'll

tunnel under into the bank.

- God.

- Frenchy, come here, come here.

- See this? See how beautiful this is?

- Yeah.

See what you're seeing there?

It's not just New Jersey.

When we first met, there was a sunset

just like this. Remember that?

Yeah. In New Jersey. But in Columbia

there was an earthquake.

Sorry, but the location

was taken by someone else.

What?

They made a deal yesterday.

I told you, if you waited too long...

Who did?

Who took the place?

Gimme...

You got the name?

Mrs. Nettie Goldberg.

Jesus! For what?

I believe a flower shop.

A flower shop!

It's a little old lady.

Her husband died, and she wants to

make the joint into a flower shop.

- That don't make no difference. Somebody's got

to get to her. - To get to her and what?

Beg her, con her, trick her.

I'm gonna go to her shop

and threaten her.

- You can't threaten her. That's all we need...

- Don't do that.

- I gotta figure a way to talk to her.

- And say what?

If her husband just died, what

are you gonna say? You need a plan.

Right.

I gotta figure something.

I'll charm her.

- What are you gonna use for charm?

- Knock it off. We're serious.

Some master plan.

You don't even have the lease.

I'm gonna get the lease.

That's what this is about.

You guys are gonna rob a bank, and some old

lady has the joint first. What a hoot.

- That's very funny.

- I'm gonna slam your head off. Jesus!

- Hey!

The bank isn't even

next to the pizza joint.

I told you that before.

That's what's great about it.

Why?

'Cause there's nothing suspicious.

The only thing suspicious

is your sanity.

When did any of you guys

dig a tunnel?

It's no big deal.

You really underestimate

Ray's personality.

He's one of the most likable dishwashers

I've ever met.

Don't pay any attention to her.

We're gonna proceed.

- Uh...

- Yeah?

I'm lookin'

for Nettie Goldberg.

- Who wants her?

- Uh, I got something for her.

I want to make her an offer.

A big offer. Big dough. Big dough!

Come on in.

- I'm Nettie Goldberg.

- I know you.

You're Benny

from cell block eight!

- Oh, God, Ray! How are you?

- Ray!

- You're lookin' at me like I'm a stranger.

- Small world! I'm sorry.

Come in. Small world.

You took the lease

on that empty store?

Yeah. I'm gonna open

a flower shop.

What're you gonna do

with a flowershop?

Burn it down.

Burnit down? You're still

burning stuff down for insurance?

I burn everything. That's how I

sent two kids through college.

That's crazy.

There's no money in that.

Benny, you gotta come in

with us.

- Who's "us"?

- "Who's us"? What are you so suspicious for?

You don't trust me?

It's me, Ray.

- Remember my nick name in the joint?

- The Brain?

The Brain. That's what

the guys used to call me. I got...

But, Ray,

that was sarcastic.

- That wasn't sarcastic, that was real.

- No, it was sarcastic.

- There was nothing sarcastic about it!

- No, really, it was.

- It was real. I was The Brain.

- No, it was sarcastic.

- It wasn't sarcastic.

- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

It was sarcastic!

- Fellas, this is Benny. He's in.

- Benny? Looks like a cop to me.

- How you doin'?

- Good. Nice to meet you.

- You know you're workin' with a genius?

- I told him that.

I mean, we're all smart,

but he wears glasses.

- What's good? Pine, right?

- Oak.

Redwood is what woodpeckers peck on.

It's the strongest.

- That makes good trees, right?

- Yeah.

This looks good.

This is good stuff.

Look how long it is.

We could build a house with this.

- We're just building a tunnel, right?

- Whoa, whoa.

- Like a house. This is good stuff.

- A house, yeah.

How much is that?

- A thousand bucks.

- A thousand bucks a box! Jesus!

- How many sticks in a box?

- Fifty.

My God, this is robbery.

This is unbelievable.

What do we need

all this dynamite for?

What do we need the dynamite for?

Just be careful...

- Ahh.

- Can I have one of these and one of these?

- Uh, okay. One of these?

- Mm-hmm.

- One of these. Okay. You want a bag?

- No, that's okay.

- I haven't got a bag. You'll

take'em like this? -That's fine.

It's gonna be

a lot of work, fellas.

But when it's over, we're gonna

be all very well compensated.

- Who's gonna work the drill?

- What do you mean?

I don't know how

to work a drill like that.

There's nothing to that.

Whoever's gonna work the drill,

I'll tell you now...

...it's gonna make a lot of noise.

No, no.

What do you think this is?

This is why I get the big dough. We

wrap this blanket around it, it's fine.

You gotta know how to work

a drill like that.

Whoa, take it easy.

Shut it off.

Will you guys shut up?

What did you do, tear a wall down?

- We ain't started yet.

- What do you mean?

What are you waiting for,

the drilling season?

Do me a favor.

Go upstairs and bake.

You know, I...

I don't need any help.

- You got it?

- No. You better brace me.

Guys! What are you doing?

Come on, get that thing!

Get that thing!

You got it?

Okay, hold it.

Could we have a half dozen

of the chocolate cinnamon?

We're closed... for Easter.

- That was three months ago.

- Greek Easter.

- Well, that was two months ago.

- Chinese Easter! We're closed, okay?

I'd like a cookie for my daughter.

Honey, what kind do you want?

All right! Come on, have a cookie.

Sure, take a cookie.

- How you doin'?

- Oh, hi.

- You still open?

- Yeah, yeah, sure. Sure.

- Give me two cherry cinnamon.

- Cherry cinnamon, right.

- New here, huh?

- Just opened today, yeah.

What's all that noise in the back?

Oh, that's the, uh, cookie press.

Needs oil, you know.

- There's a slight leak.

- This is our plumber.

- I'm the plumber. There's a tiny leak.

- How's it goin'?

- What do I owe you?

- Oh, no charge.

- Thanks a lot. Take it easy.

- I gotta get some sandbags.

The cookies,

they're 85 cents.

- Somebody get the sandbags.

- Just relax. You're a perfect fit.

- Where the hell are the sandbags?

- Just relax!

Okay, so we got off

to a shaky start.

Yeah,

I'd say it was shaky.

There's gonna be glitches.

No question about it. So what?

Tomorrow

bring a bathing suit.

I'm not discouraged

'cause I don't get discouraged.

You know, there was a woman on before.

She's got over 200 pairs of shoes.

Don't worry. You're gonna get yours,

Frenchy. I promise you.

You're gonna be fine. This time,

a month or two, we'll be in Miami.

It'll be great.

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