Smiley Face Page #3

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finish on my right.

And l tell you, Jane,

they really get in there

deep with the scraping.

A deep scraping?

Yeah.

That sounds

f***ing awesome.

Maybe l

should get one.

l think you need

an appointment.

Oh, yeah.

An appointment.

Yep, that's pretty

funny l guess.

l don't even know

what l 'm laughing at.

So, how much

do you think

you'd need?

l don't know.

Like five--

Dollars?

Yeah, l need

to borrow $5.

Well, what then?

Like $500?

Yeah, that

should do it.

Really?

Hey, if you can't,

it's no biggie.

No, l can

swing that.

Really?

You're gonna pay

me back, right?

Absolutely.

Of course.

My wallet's

in the glove box.

Get it for me?

l may have

five C notes

right here.

That would be

so f***ing great.

Nope. l don't

have it.

We're gonna

have to stop

at a machine.

Why do you need

Well--

l don't think Steve

would f*** a skull.

Why do you

keep it in

the glove box?

What?

Your wallet.

lt's too thick.

lt hurts my butt

when l 'm driving.

That makes

total sense.

Hey!

What?

Oh l l've been

to that housel

Which house?

That one back there!

An old college

professor of mine

lives there.

Really?

Yeah.

He was a pretty

good dude.

What'd he teach?

Marxist studies.

Marxist studies.

Yup.

He introduced me

to some pretty

out there concepts.

Some pretty

radical ideas.

So, were you, like,

seeing him?

What do you mean,

''seeing him?''

Were you

seeing him?

Do you mean

like dating him?

Yeah.

Ew! He was a f***ing

Marxist, man !

Marxist?

Why would you even

ask something

like that?

Oh.

There's a space.

Where?

Right there, man !

Come on, dude!

We don't want

to be late

for that dentist

appointment of yours!

U h, right, right.

Right.

You comin'

or what?

Yeah.

So are

you scared?

About what,

the dentist?

No, l 've never really

been bothered by

going to the dentist.

lt would freak the sh*t

out of me right now

if l had to go in there.

l don't think

l could handle it.

l kind of like it.

l mean, it's not like

l 'm a masochist

or anything, it's just,

well, in a way, it

makes me feel like,

yeah,

my teeth are being

taken care of,

you know?

lt make me feel. . .

prosperous.

l 'm sorry, were

you talking

about something?

U m,

Oh, yeah.

Great.

lt makes you

feel prosperous

or something.

l'm bored.

Ericson?

That's me.

Okay, l guess

l will see you

in a little bit.

Till we

meet again

Okay.

He's not

my boyfriend

or anything.

J ust a friend.

l n case you were

wondering what my

relationship to him was.

Or not.

How's it going?

Thanks, Gina.

Oh ! Thank

f***ing God !

This has been

the longest, dullest. . .

most uncomfortable

thing l can remember

ever doing.

l really thought

l was gonna die

of boredom.

l gotta pay still.

Oh, come on.

Can't we go already?

Hey, Jane. What time

do you think it was

that l picked you?

What was that?

Hey.

Why don't you come

over here while your

friend's talking to you?

Young lady,

come here.

Come here!

Look at me.

Look at me.

l 'm not playing

games here.

lt's really bright

out, officer.

Would you mind

removing your hand

from your forehead?

lt's really

bright out.

What's your name?

Uh--

Christy?

You don't

sound too

sure of that.

No, it's Christy.

Well, Christy,

how come your friend

just called you Jane

a second ago?

Jane's, uh, my--

religious name?

Your religious name?

Am l

under arrest?

Why would you be

under arrest?

Have you done

something l should

know about?

No, l-- sh*t.

l mean, shoot!

Sir, do you mind

opening your

trunk for me?

My trunk?

No. Wait, excuse me.

We called you

because--my car--

Now, Christy,

am l gonna find

whatever kind of drugs

you're on in here?

Christy.

Chris-ty.

Oh, Jesus

Christ, Jane!

Yeah?

Her name's

not Christy,

it's Jane.

l don't even

know why you're

doing that.

What do

you have

in here, son?

l don't know.

J ust some stuff.

Folders that

l was supposed

to bring to my dad's office

but didn't because

he's an ass.

What's that?

A tennis racket.

And that is a tennis ball.

l wish l had more, but

my dog eats them.

Jack head,

paper clips,

shoes,

Hello.

H i.

You're a

little early.

Well, are you

coming in

or what?

H uh.

Peter's not back

from the airport yet.

So why don't you

just have a seat and

l 'll go get it for you?

Okay.

Would you

like something

to drink?

U h, do you have

any lemonade?

Oh, no. l 'm sorry.

How about some

orange juice?

Yeah, that sounds

good actually.

All right.

Are you hungry?

Well. . . now that

you mention it,

l wouldn't mind

something to

munch on.

You know,

like chips

or whatever.

Well, let me

see what l

can find.

Here we go.

Thanks.

What's with

the corn?

Excuse me?

Oh, that's

a photo

of Peter's.

l suppose that's

his idea of avant

garde or something.

How long

have you been

Peter's T.A. ?

Who?

Peter.

Oh, you mean

Professor Harwood.

Yes.

Well, for quite

a while now.

l guess it didn't

work out with

that other girl.

l guess not.

Well, it's very

nice to meet

you, uh--

Jane.

Jane. l 'm Shirley,

Peter's mother.

Shirley, of course.

Peter talks about

you all the time.

He does?

Oh, yeah.

Constantly.

l 'll just go and

get what you

came for,

so that you can

be on your way.

That is where

corn chips

come from.

H mm, maybe old

Professor Harwood

is onto something.

He probably

really loves corn,

and all corn

related products.

l mean, isn't that what

you're supposed to

put in a frame?

Things you love?

l'm gonna do that.

When l get home,

l'm gonna frame

a bunch of stuff

l love.

Like lasagna.

l love lasagna.

lt's so good,

and cheesy.

You know who else

loves lasagna?

Garfield.

Man, that cat really

loves lasagna.

Maybe l should put

a picture of Garfield

in a frame.

As a kind of shorthand

way of saying

l love lasagna.

That would be

so f***ing inside.

Or how about a photo

of President Garfield?

Oh, sh*t. That'd

be totally meta.

People would be all like,

''Jane, why do you

have a photo

of President Garfield

on your mantle?''

And l'd be like

''Because l like

lasagna, of course. ''

Oh, my,

what happened?

Did you fall?

Yes, that's exactly

what happened.

l was reaching

for something and

l kind of rolled off.

Well, are you

all right?

Oh yeah,

l 'm fine.

Are you hiding

from someone?

Of course not.

Why would you

ask that?

lt seems like

you're hiding

from somebody.

l don't know

what you're talking

about, Shirley.

Well,

here you go.

Great. Thanks

a lot.

Now l 'm sure

Peter's told

you this already,

but he wanted me

to be sure to tell

you to take this

straight to his office

and put it in the safe.

Oh, of course.

Well, l guess

that's it then.

Okay.

See yah.

Holy f***ing sh*t.

Oh !

Hi.

Hi.

l 'm just waiting

for my clothes

to dry.

Those are

my clothes.

Right. l 'm waiting

for your clothes

to dry, so that l can--

dry my clothes.

Where are

your clothes?

l n my bathtub.

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