Smiley Face Page #4

---

Excuse me.

Hey,

let me ask

you something.

Suppose you had

a very rare--

Let go of my arm.

Sorry.

We're cool.

We're just

talking here, right?

Laundry buddies.

Do you even live

in this building?

That's not

relevant right now,

laundry buddy.

Let's suppose

a person had in

their possession,

a very old. . .

very rare--

book.

What kind

of book?

A very

influential book.

A book

that has

changed history.

l have no idea

what the f***

you're talking about.

Hey, dude.

What's with

the hostility?

You give me

the creeps.

The creeps?

Take it

somewhere else

before l call

the cops?

Whoa! Hold

on there!

lf you want

me to leave,

l can go.

Thank you.

l'm going, dude.

Goodbye, dude.

lt's always me.

Sweet mother

of Christ.

What 're

you doing?

l 'm just,

l was trying--

l'm calling

the cops.

Hey, don't do that.

l 'm gonna

give it back.

l swear!

What use could l possibly

have for a musty

Don't put me

on hold l

Hey!

She's getting away l

l will find you l l am

a Marine Reservist l

Phew.

No.

Wow, do you

look f***ed up.

Come on, Hercules.

Aw, cute pig.

The truck bed's open.

lt's headed west.

To Venice.

l don't see

the connection.

Wait a minute.

lt's coming to me.

Buzz.

lt smells like

sausage in here.

Time for a

revised plan.

bNumber one :

Get to that

Hemp Festival./b

bNumber two :
Try

to convince Steve

not to steal my furniture./b

Especially not

my bed.

Oh God.

Anything but that.

bNumber three :
Once

l've convinced Steve

not to steal my bed,/b

try to figure out

a way to return the

Communist Manifesto

without getting arrested.

Possibly via the

U. S. Postal Service.

No, Global Express

is much more reliable.

Now that sounds

like an awesome

revised plan.

bNext stop :

Venice, California./b

Holy sh*t l

What?

Dude.

Are we in

Venice yet?

Venice?!

Lady, we, we're

in f***ing

El Monte.

Where?

Do you guys

kill pigs here?

No, that happens

way before

they get here.

We keep the pigs

on ice though, until

we need them.

Shut the f*** up.

Albert, she asked.

Hey, fellas.

Now you

did it.

What are you

doing on the floor?

Who the hell

are you?

You know the rules, M ikey.

No girlfriends allowed

in the plant.

Oh no, M r. Spencer,

this isn't my girl--

l 'm not his

girlfriend, dude.

Believe me.

M ikey, Albert,

would you mind

explaining to me

what's going

on here?

U h--

l 'm here

to organize

a union.

What?!

That's right.

l always make

it a point

to get to know the

workers personally,

and these two gentlemen

were kind enough to give

me a little tour.

Albert, l thought

we cleared up

all that union

nonsense last year.

We did, sir.

l was just showing

her the way out.

Look, M r. Spencer,

is it?

How much stake do

you personally have

in this organization?

Well, not that

it's any of

your business,

but l 've got

a very generous

benefit package.

A generous

benefit package.

Listen to how quickly

the lackey adopts

the language of

his master.

Ma'am, l am going

to ask you one

time nicely.

Tell your people

that we are

not interested.

l 'll tell my

people all right.

But first, l have

a little message

for you to tell

your people.

You tell

your people

the slaughterers of pigs,

the profiteering cowards

who dishonestly hide

their dirty business

behind a sweet, happy

logo of a cute pig,

while they manufacture

misery and death.

Ma'am.

Please, sir, allow

me to finish.

J ust look around you.

Do you see it?

Can you hear it?

And you, sir,

stand here

in this warehouse

of death !

And you have

the audacity

to tell me

that you have

a generous

benefit package?

And them?

Do they have

a generous

benefit package?

l think we all know

the answer to that.

Don't we?

lt is a tale

as old as man.

The history

of all hither to

existing society,

is the history

of class struggle.

The free man and slave,

the lord and serf,

in a word, oppressor

and oppressed,

stood in constant

opposition to

one another,

carrying on an

uninterrupted fight.

A fight that each

time ended

in either revolutionary

reconstitution of

society at large,

or in a complete

and total ruin !

You tell your

people that!

You think you're

so, um, uh--

Jesus! And then you go

on and on about

this and that

and all this other

bullshit and all l

have to say is

f***, man ! l mean,

this situation is

totally f***ed.

with a capital !

l mean, have

you ever--

Do you like even--

Well, do you?

You tell your

people that.

Ohhh !

Ow.

Meet me in

Venice at three.

Take this straight to his

office and put it in the safe.

l'd probably take

your furniture.

Are you trying to

sell me drugs?

Young lady,

come here.

Jane. Janel

You give me

the creeps.

Christy. Psst.

Chris-ty

Psst. Jesusl

Jane. Hey. Jane.

Jane.

Hey.

What are

you doing?

l don't even know

where l am.

Do you

want a ride?

bNumber one :
Get to

that Hemp Festival./b

So you like

to smoke a lot

of weed, huh?

Not really.

So are you like

a Communist

or something?

No, man.

l 'm not

a Communist.

What's in Venice that

you've got to go all

the way out there for?

l 'm supposed to

be meeting someone.

Hmm.

Can l ask

you something?

Sure.

lf you could,

with a single act,

change the whole

trajectory of your

life, would you do it?

The trajectory

of my life?

Yeah, the direction your

life is headed in.

Where you're going.

U h, l don't

know. U m,

l guess not.

l 've got a good

job. Why?

l 'm thinking about

changing the trajectory

of my life, that's all.

That's cool.

God. l get so horny

when l 'm stoned.

What?

Pot makes me

so f***ing horny.

Does it have

that affect on you?

l 'm not stoned

right now. But--

Let's just f***.

Right here,

right now,

ln the car. ln the

middle of this

f***ing traffic jam.

l don't want

to get in

an accident.

Come on, Mikey.

F*** me.

F*** me right now.

You know you want to.

Come on, Mikey.

F*** me!

F*** mel Yeah l

F*** mel

F*** me!

Oh, yeah !

Come on !

F*** me, M ikey!

This traffic

sucks, huh?

Huh?

This traffic--

lt sucks.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

Hmm.

Oh, my God ! No!

l got to go!

We're on the freeway.

What are you doing?

l have to stop

my dealer from

stealing my bed !

What are you

talking about?

There's no time to--

l gotta--Bye!

Jane!

Jane!

Where the hell

are you going?

Jane!

bNumber two :

Try to convince Steve

not to steal my bed./b

You shouldn't be

walking on the

freeway. lt's dangerous.

l guess.

Where are

you headed?

Venice.

That's where

l'm going.

l'll give

you a lift.

Hold on.

Well, l hope you find

whatever it is you're

looking for.

Thanks.

You too.

She was nice.

Carrot Top!

Excuse me, did you

just come from

the Hemp Fest?

No, man. l 'm

from Bethlehem.

Oh, sorry.

Dude, l 'm just

f***ing with you.

But it's kind of over.

What?

You're a bong

hit late.

lt's done-ski.

No!

Hey, is this the

Thirty-third Annual

Venice Hemp Fest?

Not any more.

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