Smoking Guns Page #3

I just don't want any of

this coming back to me okay?

I'll tell you what Yian.

It won't get back

to you alright,

I'll go on the meet and

that I'll sort it all out,

and I'll give you

a nice drink anyway.

But I won't have to mention

your name, alright?

I'll see what I can do.

What do you mean

you'll see what you can do?

You've got the number

on your phone ain't you?

Just give me the number

I'll sort it...

[Ian yelling indistinct]

Those f***ing pikey,

f***ing c*nts!

It's your own fault,

I did try and warn you.

Here what, right.

If I ever see that

f***ing gypo c*nt again...

Yeah?

If you ever see those

gypos again, you'll what?

What do you mean what? I'll f***ing

kick his f***ing head in, bro.

[Yiannis] Yeah, right, son,

he would have mullered you.

I can fight, Yiannis,

looks can be deceiving, bro.

You can't fight

you're too small.

I might be f***ing small, but I'm f***ing

quick, bruv, do you know what I mean?

- You can't fight.

- Oi, don't forget I'm trained, bruv.

I've been doing Wung CHUN since

I was six years old, brother.

Honestly, I have,

me dad taught me, mate.

Didn't know I was a f***ing

martial artist, did he?

[laughing]

You're brilliant, Ian.

- What is funny, aye?

- So you're old man's a Kung Fu master?

- I had no idea.

- Yeah, he's a f***ing Sifu, bruv.

Ain't that a

little Japanese dog?

No, it's a martial arts

grand master, mate.

No, I'm sure it's a little dog.

I was gonna get one for Angelica

only the missus had a sh*t fit.

You're talking about a f***ing

Shih Tzu, you f***ing idiot.

Alright, show us a move.

I don't wanna f***ing hurt

his brittle old bones, do I?

Go on, show us a move.

Bruce Lee managed to

give demonstrations

without hurting anybody so I'm sure

you'll be alright, son of Shih Tzu.

Alright then, f*** you.

Let me just...

Alright, throw a punch.

- You sure?

- Go on, f***ing do it.

Go on then, bruv,

f***ing throw a punch.

What are you doing, you f***ing,

little Greek c*nt?

[laughing]

You told me to.

Yeah, but you could have f***ing

waited 'til I was ready,

you f***ing Greek prick.

I'm f***ing going in, before I f***ing end

up hurting you by accident, you c*nt.

[upbeat music]

Look at, him he's flying,

it's like he's got wings.

He's a Pegasus, he's beautiful,

look at him... Oh, come on.

You should of just paid

a single like I told you.

But, no, as always

you have to get

too greedy for your own good.

You gonna give me this... the

number of this bloke, or what?

You don't need to worry about making

a couple of hundred quid from that.

You think you're gonna make

half a million quid. [chuckles]

- Well, until then.

- Come on!

[announcer]

My, oh my, oh my.

Go on, call him, I'm curious

to see what sort of world

my daughter's

really growing up in.

So can I borrow the phone?

What's wrong with your phone?

I've got no credit,

I'm on Pay As You Go.

[laughs]

A man making 250 quid bets

should at least have a little

bit of credit on his phone.

F***ing idiot, go on, call him.

250 quid bet,

1,400-to-one shots,

I've never seen anything

like it in my life.

It's a novelty bet at the most...

[shushing]

It's ringing.

[upbeat music]

[phone buzzing]

Answer the f***ing phone.

I'm trying to concentrate here.

Stay a bit longer, Bektash,

please don't go.

You have already paid

my wife's new kitchen.

Let me lose a

little back to you.

I'm starting to feel guilty.

[laughing]

- Answer the f***ing phone!

- Okay, man.

Who's this?

Where you get my number from?

Yiannis, I don't know

any Yiannis.

Who the f*** is Yiannis?

Oh, okay, okay, Greek Yiannis

who owned the clothes factory.

Tell him he's a...

Why he not phone me,

do introduction first?

Okay, f*** it,

business is business, I suppose.

We are in recession,

I'll take a risk on you.

How much money

do you wanna spend?

150 pound, so you wanna

buy a replica version?

Okay, no problem, you come talk

to me, we sort something out.

You know the Shooters Club?

Shooters Club, yeah?

I'm just about

two minutes from there.

Yeah, just in the bookies

there, on the parade.

How long should I be, mate?

Oh, you're,

you're coming here, yeah?

- No, no, no.

- Put your football bets on.

[mouthing words]

Not here, not here.

Alright, mate.

Yeah.

I'm with Yiannis,

so you'll, you'll...

- No.

- You'll recognize Yiannis.

Alright, how long, mate?

Alright, I see you

in a minute, bruv, yeah? Bye.

He's coming here?

You shouldn't have

told him to come here.

What did I tell you?

Don't sh*t where you eat.

I told you.

I'm f***ing a shark.

I should be on television,

Bektash.

Deal the f***ing cards.

Sorry, boys, I have to go,

some business.

[clears throat]

Drugs?

No, Bektash,

I'm not a drug dealer.

But if I was,

or ever decide to do drugs,

I'll come to you first

out of respect.

Hi, mate, any luck?

Oh, look, 33. Put 33, mate.

[Jack] Look at Ian,

he can't help himself can he?

Oh, sh*t.

Do you know who that is?

Who the bloke Ian's bothering?

No, who is he?

[Yiannis]

You know when you told Ian

that he's gonna f*** with the wrong

bloke's game one of these days?

Raise 2,000.

I think I fold, too,

this seems personal.

Big boy bet from Big Bektash.

He's on tilt, I call.

I'm going, boys, good luck, yeah?

Lucas, good to see you.

[speaking in foreign language]

Ozan, see you later.

Oh, no, I told you.

I told you, listen to me.

Oh, my God, I know what I'm

talking about, mate, honestly.

It doesn't make a difference,

let the man play his game.

Yes, Yian,

but I told him put 33.

Look at the previous spins,

man, f***ing obvious.

It's just a matter of luck

though, really, isn't it?

[Ozan] What do you want

to do Bektash, raise?

Yes, Ozan, I raise your flush with

two pair Ace, and King kicker.

3,000.

Call.

[laughing hysterically]

- [Yiannis] Don't you know who that is?

- [lan] Who?

[Yiannis] That's Holt,

Richard f***ing Holt.

You never heard of him?

Name rings a bell.

He's a big time coke dealer.

Cocaine?

No fizzy drinks.

- What do you mean... aye?

- Yes, Ian, cocaine.

He's supposed to be a

right dangerous f***er.

In and out of prison

and you're telling him off

for not listening to your

stupid betting theories.

[Ian] He don't look that hard.

Billy the Mechanic

told me a crazy story...

Oh, a story by

Billy the Bullshitter?

Can't wait to hear this one.

Bill's alright,

what's your problem with Billy?

Nothing, just can't believe a word that

comes out of his mouth, that's all.

Shut up a minute, Jack,

I really want to hear this.

[Jack] Why is it always you that hears

all these colorful stories, Yian?

Like, last week it was

the story about fat Bektash

that comes in here and bets

on the Turkish football.

Now don't f*** with

Bektash and his crew.

They ain't no joke,

they're the real deal, mate.

What we are going to do now with

the unfortunate Ozan's money? Huh?

It wouldn't be fair for you to take the

pot just because you killed a gentleman.

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