Smoking Guns Page #4

No... [chuckles]

No.

This is not the Wild West.

The game, it's the game.

And we have to protect the

game's integrity at all cost.

Ozan won this pot,

fair and square.

Make sure his family

get the money.

His son just passed

his driving test.

[laughing]

This money can pay for

his first car, huh.

[Bektash laughing]

Who's laughing now, huh?

Come on, Phyllis, I've grown a

beard by the time you're ready.

I've only got one pair of hands, can't

do two things at once, you know.

That's 250 pound, please, love.

Have you made that

coffee for me yet?

Um, yeah, I'll bring it over

to you when it's ready, okay.

Did you want sweetener

in that or not?

Yeah, go on then

if that's all you got.

[scoffs]

So they pull up at

the traffic lights,

eyes still glued to

the rear view mirror

and pondering their next

move waiting for Dexter

to give them an order when out of

nowhere... Bang-bang, bang-bang.

Holt and his associate have made

off in a Land Rover full of coke.

That's a sick move.

That has got to be

the one of the biggest

load of bullshit

I've heard in my entire life.

Him, f*** off.

Sounds like the plot

of a sh*t film.

Oh, sh*t, I think he heard us.

[Ian] Sh*t, what should we do?

[Jack]

You lot are such pussies, man.

Ian, your old man

would be ashamed of you.

What's he gonna do, kill us here,

in the bookies, in broad daylight?

No, there are too many

witnesses here for that.

Look, just get ready

to run if we have to.

F*** that, I ain't running from him.

I ain't scared of him.

[Ian] I'm only joking, anyway.

F***ing...

- You're scared of him.

- No, I'm not.

[Jack] You are,

you're scared of a bloke

in a f***ing pink shirt,

just admit it.

I ain't scared of him,

I told you.

If he asked you to give him a blowj*b, you

probably would out of fear, wouldn't you?

Yeah, I would, and I'd bite

his f***ing cock off and all.

So you're agreed, yeah, you'd

put his cock in your mouth?

- No.

- [Jack] What about up your bum?

- No.

- Would you let him take your anal virginity, as well?

Shut up, Jack,

he's f***ing coming over.

Let me do the talking.

What's that, Ian,

you're already an anal veteran?

- Yeah?

- Just shut up.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if I came across as...

stubborn and uncooperative

towards you, son.

You were clearly right and I

should have listened to you.

Unfortunately, it's a

defensive mechanism

that I've developed

over the years due to

too much interaction with the lowlifes

and scoundrels of this world.

Mate, that's... No, sir,

it's no worries, honestly,

I was just trying

to help you out.

Clearly seem to know

what you're doing,

and when it comes to

anything computerized

I'm a bit of a technophobe,

unfortunately.

Do you know Zack Anderson?

Tall bloke,

well dressed, 30 odd.

You don't mean Zack the barber who's got a

little barber shop on Church Street, do you?

No, but I know who you mean,

nice bloke, lovely skin.

Yeah, Zack's a diamond

he is, yeah.

No, this Zack Anderson's a police

officer, a marksman, actually.

- What, killing criminals?

- Well, yeah.

I see,

what a job that would be, man.

I'd love to do a job like

that...

Part of a f***ing

SWAT team or something.

- Do you know what I mean?

- [Jack] What you?

F*** off, you ain't got the bollocks

to shoot someone in between the eyes.

No, I could.

Just 'cause you ain't got the balls

to kill someone don't mean I ain't.

I would, I'd kill someone,

but it'd have to be

for a reason.

Well, everyone can kill

for a reason, can't they?

But would you kill for

35K a year, six days a week?

- But what does that work out to be a week though?

- F*** knows?

About two grand a month after

tax and national insurance.

Well, what's that 500 a week?

F*** that, I could earn that

in a good afternoon in here.

No, if they wanted me to kill criminals

they'd have to give me at least double that.

Zack's a very

good friend of mine.

He recently won 5,000 pounds,

machines like this.

In fact, yeah...

he won it in this very

bookies, a few weeks back.

So, I'm in bed, right, I get

up one morning and I think,

Richard, get with the times,

man.

So here I am, delving into the

computerized world of gambling,

without a f***ing clue

what I'm doing, mind you.

[all laughing]

But, fortunately, I have young Ian

here to help me, haven't I, Ian?

I've seen people lose everything

to these digital demons.

Do you know Tony Costa?

He had a little

pita bread factory

on the industrial estate

just off the Gold Road.

- Tall skinny bloke?

- No, short and fat.

He lost his business, his home

and eventually his family.

His family?

His wife ran off with

the next door neighbor,

some Polish bloke,

Viktor, with a K.

What happened to your face?

What are you a boxer

or something?

Nah, I had a car

accident earlier on.

Black '94 three series BMW

wrapped around that lamppost?

Shame, real shame,

I had the same car mid '90s.

Beautiful it was, sleek, smooth...

Oh, and that smell of leather.

I can still... [sniffs]

still smell it now.

Pre air bag, unfortunately,

for your nose.

You need to get that done.

Kitten ran out in

the middle of the road,

and I swerved to avoid it.

A kitten, that's the first

I ever heard about a kitten.

Yeah, I knew you lot

would take the piss.

[Richard] No, no, nothing

to take the piss about there,

you did the right thing,

my friend.

I always say swerve for

a kitten never for a dog.

Dogs are filthy things.

I'd always swerve for a kitten.

Anyway, gentleman,

back to the racing post.

[Jack] Everywhere I turn

I see the devil.

If I make the choice

to be scared, I'll fear him.

But fears a choice,

so f*** you fear.

[Yiannis]

What's the story, Carlton?

Good, Yiannis, what about you?

Same sh*t, different smell.

Listen, man, I never even

know that I should save.

Every penny I earned,

I spent it.

You know them

say save for a rainy day?

I never think about a rainy day,

I think every day is sunshine.

[upbeat music]

- [Ian] What did you do?

- Your mom, up the back passage, Bosch.

He's gone to me, "What you do?"

I've gone, "Your mom, up

the back passage, Bosch."

- [laughing]

- [Jack] Brilliant!

Oi, don't tell your old man

I said that though.

- It was just a joke, yeah.

- Keep running it...

So, like, it was a

couple of years ago,

I've sold his old man a flat

down on what Ducant Road?

- That's it.

- Yeah, investment purposes.

This geezer, I can't

believe the size of him

he's like six-four, 20 stone,

like thick Glaswegian accent,

big shiny bald head,

the geezer actually goes to me,

"I'm expecting ten grand off

the asking price now, Paul."

He takes the piss though,

but wait if he comes down, here.

He's one scary mother f***er

and I'm like, "Yes, sir.

No, sir. Three bags full, sir."

Just don't crush me with

your big hairy hands, will you?

- Hey, what the f*** happened to you?

- What?

Well, I mean it's a bit late

for a growth spurt, ain't it?

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